Just To Hold You Close And Tight
by dr.Tea
Summary: Every chapter is written from an episode, only I twist the plot and stuff, because everyone knows that Arthur and Merlin should be together. So, it's a slowly progressing relationship between them. Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Something About You, Merlin

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 1. - There is something about you, Merlin._

Merlin was in prison. Yeah, in prison. And it was only his first day after arriving Camelot. _Well, it's not like it's MY fault anyway, it's all that dumb, royal, stupid... _Merlin was thinking about the prince, obviously. He was the dumbest most ignorant piece of something bad Merlin had ever met.

He had been throwing knives at a poor guy carrying a shield. What if he hit his legs or something? The poor servant had been scared, Merlin could tell. All he had done was ask Arthur to stop. He had even done it in a nice way.

"Hey, that's enough. You've had your fun, my friend." He had said. And that royal ass had just acted all mighty and... OH! It made Merlin so angry... And what WAS that annoying voice that kept saying

"Merlin, Merlin, Merlin" over and over again? Maybe he really was going mental. Hearing voices, attacking guys way stronger than himself... When was he getting out of here anyway? Well, he _had _attacked the prince, but, but, but... That was for the sake of justice!

Finally, around mid-day someone came to the cellar. It was Gaius. Merlin had just known him a day, but he was already starting to care about the old man. When he told Merlin he had managed to get him out of prison, Merlin was so relieved.

A few minutes later, he found himself in the stocks. _How the hell did I end up here?_ And he had to stay here for an hour! Rotten cabbage and tomatoes! ROTTEN! Merlin sighted as a tomato hit him right in the face. Right in the face.

Okay, it hadn't been that bad. The hour had been long, but at least he had made a new friend. Or... Someone had walked up to him and said hi. Gwen. A girl with tanned skin and dark hair. She seemed really nice, and since she was working at the castle, Merlin would probably see her often.

Merlin's overall impression of Camelot was quite positive. Well, except for the prat of a prince, and the really scary-looking king. Merlin just hoped he wouldn't have much to do with either of

them. But, what-do-you-know, already the next day he found himself in a fight with Arthur.

_Oh shit, oh, shit, oh shit... I'm so dead. Dodge, Merlin! GO. GO. GO! Move! If he hits you with that... eh... Thing, you're dead, now MOVE! _He just managed to jump away from that big ball of deadly iron that Arthur threw at him. Why had he gotten himself into this again? Oh, yeah...

He had just been walking, minding his own business, then he had run into Arthur. Their eyes had met. Merlin hadn't stopped, he just wanted to get away from the prat. But the prince had other thoughts in mind, he had stopped.

It was the "Don't run away." comment that had annoyed Merlin enough to make him stop. _I shouldn't have stopped... _

He only had one chance at beating Arthur, and that was by using magic. It was the only thing he had, after all. And for a moment he actually thought he had one, but as he was looking around, cherishing the look on people's faces... He had been beaten. He thought he was going to be thrown in the dungeons again, but...

"No, let him go. He may be an idiot, but he is a brave one." Arthur said, and their eyes met again. "There is something about you, Merlin... I just can't quite put my finger on it." At that moment, something happened inside of Merlin. He wanted to say something, but... He couldn't. All he could do was look at Arthur, who now was smiling slightly. His blonde hair shining in the sun. And those blue eyes piercing through Merlin's. Merlin could feel his magic stirring inside of him, and he had to look away, because his eyes changed colour from blue to golden. Arthur turned around and left with his men. Merlin was standing there alone, his heart beating so fast... Something was wrong... Inside his body.

Gaius was furious. No wonder. But Merlin was immune to his anger at the moment. He could feel his magic inside of him. Literally feel it. It all ended with Merlin walking off to his room. He just had to lay down. The feeling of the magic had slowly calmed down, but when he thought about the sentence "There is something about you, Merlin." he felt it again. The feeling was hard to describe... He felt warm inside, and his heart started pounding, he also felt a bit dizzy. But not bad dizzy, more like... No, it was just too hard to describe.

Gaius obviously understood that Merlin was feeling down, and came up to give him some medicine, and cheer him up. Merlin only wanted one thing, and that was an answer. "Why am I like this? Please... I need to know." of course, the old man couldn't answer.

After attending to Merlin's wounds, he left. Merlin sat there alone, and thought. He tried not to think about the sentence; "There is something about you, Merlin." but for some reason it just kept popping up in his mind. Merlin suddenly knew how to get his answer. He would follow the voice.

He had been hearing it at night ever since he came to Camelot. He was pretty sure it wasn't in his head. That's just the sort of thing you know. The voice had to be calling his name for some reason... Maybe he could get an answer. He just wanted to know the purpose for his gifts.

It was nighttime, and Merlin heard the voice again. It kept calling his name. He got out of bed, and dressed. When he walked through the main room where Gaius was sleeping, he remembered something he had said. Something about the last dragon, that was captured and held deep beneath the castle. What if... No, it was impossible. But, when he thought about it, it had to be something magical. If not, how could he hear a voice without seeing anyone? And, the voice was loud enough to wake Gaius up. Merlin put a blanket over the old man, and headed for the castle.

It was weird, but Merlin just kind of knew where he had to go. He kept following that voice, and again he could _feel _the magic.

Distracting the guards was easy. Merlin wasn't a genius, but he wasn't an idiot, even though that was kind of like a nickname he had. He kept following that voice. Walking down stairs and through tunnels, until he finally reached what seemed to be the end. But there was nobody there, and the voice had silenced too. Merlin almost called out in frustration.

No wonder he was a bit startled when a huge dragon suddenly appeared in front of him. "I'm here." it said. Merlin took a few steps back. It was a dragon after all. Not that he thought he had been brought down here just to get killed.

_No. There is just no way. No. NO! I'm not going to protect that prat! NO WAY! _Merlin was honestly disappointed. He had thought he would be happy about knowing his destiny. But he wasn't. Protecting Arthur? He didn't deserve to be protected. He didn't even deserve to be king. "There is something about you, Merlin." _Seriously, Merlin, stop thinking about that. You don't even know what he meant. _Yeah, that's right. What did he mean by that? Well, he had said that he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe he could feel something too? Like Merlin could feel his magic coming to life when he thought about that sentence. Or, was it when he thought about Arthur? _Both, I guess. _

Deep down Merlin knew that the dragon was right. He knew that to protect Arthur was his destiny. He just wouldn't admit it. He knew because why else would his magic act all weird he thought about Arthur? It was just too many coincidences.

Merlin was on watch when he entered the great hall where the celebrations were to be hold. He wasn't too sure about what he had seen in Lady Helen's room. He had thought he could sense magic coming from the straw-doll, and the book. But then again, he could be wrong. He hadn't told anyone about it.

Merlin looked over at Arthur. He looked cheerful there he stood joking with his friends. They were all knights. He was wearing a crown, and Merlin had to be honest with himself, he really did look like a future king. Arthur was laughing, and Merlin smiled. He couldn't help it, he just liked seeing him smile and laugh. He just did. Arthur was still in a conversation, but was now looking at Merlin, and their eyes met. Merlin quickly looked away, a bit embarrassed. When he looked back at Arthur, he was still looking at him. Their eyes met again, and Arthur smiled. And Merlin could feel his magic starting to come to life inside of him. _He is smiling for you. _Arthur's gaze switched from Merlin to someone else. Merlin followed it, and saw that Arthur was looking at the lady Morgana. "She looks great, doesn't she?" that was Gwen. "Yeah..." Merlin answered, a bit absent.

"Some are just born to be queen."

"NO." Merlin answered, on reflecks. Gwen looked at him, a bit surprised.

"I hope so, one day. Not that I'd wanna be her. Who'd wanna marry Arthur?" _They're gonna marry? _Merlin didn't know why, but he... Felt a bit angry, or sad... Or irritated by Gwen. Why did Morgana have to marry Arthur? Why should Arthur marry her? _Why am I so upset by this? _He continued his conversation with Gwen. But his eyes were fixed at the blonde prince, who was now talking to Morgana. For some reason Merlin wanted to walk over to him and stop him from talking to her. He wanted to tell him that he shouldn't marry her. _What the hell is wrong with me?!_

Merlin stood there. He had managed to come kind of close to Arthur, he was standing in a corner, just a few meters to the right of where Arthur sat. Lady Helen had just started singing, and Merlin could feel the magic in her voice. The moment he saw people starting to fall asleep he covered his ears. He looked from the lady Helen to Arthur, and his suspicion was confirmed. She was walking right towards him. Merlin didn't really know what to do. Was she going to hurt him? No. No. She was a friend of the king. She wouldn't hurt his only son... But when she took up a dagger, and aimed for Arthur, he had to do something. He looked desperately around, and his eyes landed upon a huge lamp, hanging from the ceiling. Like he always did, he performed magic by instinct, and the lamp fell down, crushing her and stopping her from throwing the knife at Arthur.

Just a few seconds later people woke up. Everyone looked confused. But the danger wasn't over. She wasn't dead. And with her las power she lifted her arm and threw the dagger at Arthur. It was thrown with the strenght and speed of magic. Merlin had to act quick. He slowed the time, using magic. He looked at Arthur, who just sat there, in shock, unable to move. Merlin run towards him and put his arms around him. Arthur was heavy, but he managed to drag him to the side before the knife hit him.

Arthur landed on top of Merlin, and knocked all the air out of him. Merlin held his arms tightly around him, for some reason he didn't want to let go. He obviously had to, and they both got up. The king was shocked, as well as the entire court. Merlin didn't expect to receive a reward. But, when the king insisted, he couldn't exactly say no.

Being awarded a position as Arthur's manservant was both good and bad. The fact that he was now going to be closer to him made it easier to carry out his destiny. But Arthur really didn't seem too fond of Merlin. He had looked really annoyed at the announcement, and he had even protested. But, apart from that, Merlin was quite happy. He remembered the smile, and... He knew that this was what he was born to do. Protect the prince of Camelot.

Merlin coughed and knocked on the door. Not just any door. The door that lead to the prince's chambers.

"Enter." it was Arthur's voice. Merlin slowly opened the door and entered the room. Arthur was sitting behind his desk.

"You wanted to see me?" Merlin said, feeling a bit awkward with just the two of them in the room. _Well, this is something you have to get used to._

"Yes. I just wanted to thank you. You saved my life." Arthur said, and smiled. Merlin smiled back. _God, I just love that smile. _he mentally hit himself for that thought.

"It's my duty."

"You acted so quick. I never knew you could actually be that fast." Merlin smiled.

"I'm not all that useless."

"I guess you're not." Merlin nodded. Arthur just sat there, smiling. _He is smiling for me again. _

"Is that all?" Merlin asked, ready to leave the room.

"Yeah..." Arthur looked down, obviously thinking about something.

"Well... Eh... Goodbye." Merlin said, and turned around to leave.

"Goodnight, Merlin." Arthur said, still looking down.

"Goodnight." Merlin said softly. He said it so softly he wasn't even sure Arthur could hear it. But he did.

_Thank you for reading the first chapter. I will update soon. I had so much fun writing this. Hope you stick around and leave some reviews. Thank you._

_/dr. Tea._


	2. Chapter 2 Small Smiles To Trust

_(I fought them all off)_

**Just to hold you close and tight**

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 2. - Small smiles to trust_

Merlins first day as Arthur's servant had been hell. Like really, hell. He had to help Arthur work out, which just turned out to be Arthur beating Merlin. His head was killing him from taking all those blows. Had he really been wearing a helmet? Didn't seem so at the moment. He was currently sitting in his room, reading about how to put on an armor. It didn't look that hard. Sure, there were like thousand things to remember, but when he looked at the drawings, it didn't seem that hard. The next day however...

"You do know the tournament starts _today?_"

"Yes, sire." Merlin said, and smiled. He felt kind of stupid, but Arthur was giving him a hard time. This was his first time putting on an armor after all. He couldn't imagine how it all would have turned out if Gwen hadn't helped him. Just to get rid of some of the tension, Merlin tried to start a conversation.

"Are you nervous?"

"I don't get nervous." Arthur said, already sounding annoyed. Merlin didn't take the hint.

"Really? I thought everyone got nervous..."

"Will you shut up!?" Merlin was startled by Arthur's sudden outburst. _God, I'm just trying to make a conversation here... _He thought while continuing to put on the armor. The whole time Arthur was staring at him like he was the stupidest person he had ever seen. Merlin did things even slower now. He hardly managed to put on his cape. When he was finally done, or thought he was done, he managed to forget the most important part. The prince's sword. When it was handed to Arthur he walked away looking pretty mad. _Well, that went well._

Merlin was standing in the background, looking at Arthur and the other knights (maybe mostly at Arthur), and listening to Uther's speech. When he had said "Let the tournament begin." he walked up to Arthur and said something to him. _He probably wished him good luck. _Merlin wondered how much he, himself would have to do during this tournament. Arthur was the current champion, so Merlin thought he had a good chance of winning. Anyway, his job was to make sure he stayed alive, not helping him win tournaments. These games were stupid anyway. What was the point of trying to kill each other? Well, 1000 gold pieces was a pretty good price, but not something that Merlin would risk his life for.

The tournament had started, and Arthur was the first one out, being the current champion. Merlin felt a bit bad about not wishing him good luck, but... Then again, the prince had been kind of angry with him...

Arthur had won his first battle quickly. And his second, and third... He seemed to be winning against everyone rather easily. Merlin was starting to relax. The only one that opposed a threat to Arthur, as far as Merlin could see was the brutal knight Valiant. He wondered if Arthur also thought of him as a dangerous opponent.

"Knight Valiant seems pretty handy with the sword..." Merlin said, and looked at Arthur, who looked at his father.

"Yes, yes he does..." Then he looked at Merlin.

"But I'll beat him." he said, and smiled.

"I know."

Knight Valiant came and congratulated Arthur on his victories. Merlin noticed that Arthur looked really uncomfortable, and tried to cheer him up afterwards, by adding a small little comment about Valiant. "Creep." Arthur smiled and looked at Merlin, who also smiled. As if the prince needed to punish Merlin for cheering him up, he gave him hundreds of chores to do before the morning. _How come everytime I do something nice for Arthur I end up working my ass off? _He thought as he watched the prince walk away.

Doing all the stuff he had to wasn't a big of a deal, not when he used magic. He could just lay in his bed and the magic did the work for him. Hopefully Gaius wouldn't walk in... And he was there. _Damn._

The next day Merlin went to gather Arthur's armor. It was placed in the same room as all the other knight's armours. Merlin honestly didn't want to run into any other knights, because he thought they were a bit scary, espesially knight Valiant. But, of course, Merlin was known for getting himself into trouble. At least that was how he saw himself...

He heard a weird noice coming form one of the shields. It sounded like a snake, or something... Which was scary, because the shield had the heads of three snakes on it. Merlin stepped closer and looked into the snakes eye. _Did it just move? _Again, just like he had done with the doll and the book in lady Helen's room, he could feel the magic coming from the shield. It wasn't before he found himself with a blade to his throat that he remembered that it was knight Valiant's shield.

Merlin slowly stepped backwards with knight Valiant's sword pointed at him.

"Can I help you with something, boy?" the knight asked, looking way more frightening than Merlin remembered him.

"No... I'm good... I was just... Gathering my master's armor." he said, and looked into the knight's eyes. For a moment he saw desire to kill, and his heart started pounding. He actually feared for his life. But then, a second later Valiant lowered his swords.

"You better be on your way then." Merlin quickly gathered Arthur's armor and headed outside as fast as he could. _But... What was up with the shield? _He couldn't shake the feeling of the magic off.

He looked kind of proud as Arthur's eyes gazed over his newly cleaned armor. Arthur looked amazed.

"You did all this on your own?" That was one of the first compliments Merlin had gotten, and he had to mentally hit himself not to smile widely.

"Yes, sire." he said. _Yes, Merlin, stay profesjonell. You're supposed to be a servant._

"Now let's see if you can get me into it without forgetting anything." the prince said, challenging.

Putting on Arthur's armour was one of his favorite things to do, Merlin had figured, even though this was just the second time he did it. It was nice being this close to the person he was supposed to protect. Laying his arms around him to put on his belt and feeling the strong body underneath him as he strapped the armour around his shoulders and arms.

When he was done, Arthur still looked amazed.

"That was much better!" then he looked at Merlin's happy face. "Not that it could have gotten any worse..." Merlin just continued smiling.

"I'm a fast learner."

"I hope for your sake that's true." Arthur said, and was about to leave the room.

"Good luck." Merlin said quickly. He didn't want to forget it again. Arthur turned around and looked at Merlin, then he smiled, and nodded. _I love that smile, _Merlin thought.

Arthur continued to win all his battles. But unfortunately, so did knight Valiant. Merlin still remembered the essence of magic coming from his shield. _I sure hope it's just my imagination_, he thought as he watched Arthur knock his opponent down with bare hand. He sure was strong.

In between battles, Arthur would stand by the tents and watch the others fight, with Merlin as company. Merlin himself was starting to enjoy his time spent with the prince more and more.

"You're doing great today!" he said and smiled as Arthur came walking back. Arthur smiled and took off his helmet.

"Thanks." they both looked at knight Valiant beating his opponent half to death.

"I know you'll beat him." Merlin said encouraging, and looked at Arthur. He didn't look too sure of himself.

Merlin had almost forgotten about the whole deal with the shield, but of course Gaius had to make him worry again. He showed him the neck of one of the knights that Valiant had beaten. He seemed to have been bitten by a snake. Merlin wouldn't believe his own thoughts, but somehow he just knew that Valiant was using magic. Merlin wasn't one to believe in coincidences. He had to make sure he was right though...

He couldn't find the shield together with the other armours, which just made Merlin even more suspicious. It had to be in knight Valiant's room. That was bad... Merlin didn't really want to run into him again, and he most certainly didn't want Valiant finding him looking at his shield, again. _He probably moved it because I was looking at it. _Merlin made up his mind. If he really was using magic, Arthur could be in danger. _For one who didn't really want this destiny in the first place, I sure am taking this seriously... _Deep down Merlin knew the answer, but that was a secret he didn't even want to admit to himself. Not yet.

He headed for Valiant's room. He could hear him in there, and he could feel the magic. Stronger this time. He slowly creaked the door open, and looked inside. He wasn't exactually shocked with what he saw.

He saw three snakes, kind of coming out of the shield. And knight Valiant was feeding them with a mouse. Merlin had seen enough, and ran. Unfortunately, he managed to make a bit too much noise, and he had to hide behind a pillar so that Valiant wouldn't find him.

He quickly ran back to Gaius, and told him about what he had seen. He was in a hurry to tell Arthur, but... Gaius stopped him.

It turned out that he had to have _proof _that he was using magic. _Stupid laws that look down on servants... Stupid Valiant... Stupid Gaius... _Merlin thought as he lay in his bed, trying to figure out how to tell Arthur. He really needed evidence... But how to get them? Would Arthur even believe him? He thought about Arthur, and the way he always smiled. Yeah, he would believe him. Merlin really thought he would.

The next day was the day before the final. If Arthur won his battles today, he would be up against the best knight. Merlin had a bad feeling it would be Valiant.

"You're telling me you have to fight _that!?" _Merlin said, and looked at the man who was Arthur's next opponent. He was about two heads taller than Arthur, and to Merlin he seemed like a monster.

"Yes, and he is as strong as a bear. But his slow."

"Ah, and you're fast." Merlin said it to encourage Arthur. He wanted him to do good. He knew this meant much to the prince.

"Exactly." Arthur said with a smirk. Merlin looked at him and gave him a pat on the back. Arthur smiled, and headed out to fight the "bear".

At the end of the day Merlin's fears were reality. Arthur was going to fight Valiant in the finals. He knew he would use the shield to defeat him. And maybe even kill him... Who knew? The most annoying part was that Gaius didn't seem to care! How could he not care? It was Arthur's life they were talking about! It was like the most important thing in the world!

Gaius came to senses, and explained to Merlin that Uther probably would believe another knight. All they had to do was heal the knight that was bit. But they needed poison from one of the snakes... Poison...

Merlin knew what he had to do... It was just... Doing it. But actually, he had no choice. This was Arthur's life. His destiny. Even if he would have to fight snakes or Valiant or whatever... He had to do this.

He snuck back to Valiant's room, where he almost had been caught. He didn't worry too much about that now, because he knew Valiant was having dinner with Arthur and the king. He entered the room and looked at the shield. It had magic coming from it, but it seemed like a perfectly normal shield... Until Merlin turned his back to it. A snakes head suddenly came out of it, and with the nearest sword Merlin chopped it's head off, and ran back to Gaius as fast as he could.

When Gaius had gotten the head, he could start to prepare the antidote that would save the knight's life. The next step was to tell Arthur. Merlin hoped he would believe him. Not only would it save Arthur's life... It would _mean_ something to Merlin. He couldn't quite describe it. He just knew that it was important to him.

"You? You chopped it's head off?" Arthur said, and it looked like he was about to laugh. That annoyed Merlin a bit, because he was being serious.

"Yuin was bitten by the snake from the shield when he was fighting knight Valiant! You can talk to Gaius and see the puncture in the neck where the snake bit him! Yuin was beating him! He had to cheat!"

"Valiant wouldn't dare use magic in Camelot." Arthur said, still not believing what Merlin was telling him.

"Yuin was pinned under Valiant's shield! Nobody could see the snake bite him!" _Come on, Arthur... Believe me._

"I don't like the guy, but that doesn't mean he's cheating." Arthur said, and got up. _Good, that means what I said makes him uneasy... That makes he might think I'm telling the truth. If I just push a little more..._

"Gaius is preparing an antidote to the snake-venom. When Yuin is conscious he'll tell you what happened." Arthur turned to Merlin, and looked at him with serious eyes. It looked like he was really thinking hard... "If you fight Valiant in the finals, he'll use the shield! It's the only way he can beat you." Merlin knew that was true. Arthur _was _a better fighter. Merlin picked up the head, and showed it to Arthur, who hadn't really looked at it. "Look at it! Have you even seen any snakes like this in Camelot?"

Arthur looked at the snake's head, and stepped closer to Merlin. And closer, so close he was in Merlin's personal space. He grabbed the snake's head, while at the same time grabbing Merlin's hand. He let go quickly though. Merlin looked into those dark, blue eyes and wanted Arthur to believe him so badly...

"I know I'm just a servant. And my word doesn't count for anything... I wouldn't lie to you." Arthur looked at him, his blue eyes piercing through Merlin.

"I want you to swear to me, what you're telling me is true." Had they gotten even closer? Arthur leaned in even more, and bit his lip.

"I swear, it's true." Merlin said, and noticed he had been holding his breath.

"Then I believe you." Arthur said, and pulled back. Merlin was so happy he honestly wanted to just hug Arthur. Something he obviously couldn't do.

Merlin was a bit nervous. He just hoped Arthur would do the talking. He had summoned the court to raise his accusations against knight Valiant. Everything should go smoothly. The antidote was ready, and sir Yuin should be enough. It was just too bad everything got messed up...

Merlin had never seen Arthur that way. He looked so defeated when Uther said: "This is how a true knight behaves." Arthur looked like he just wanted to sink into the ground. Merlin almost couldn't wait to be alone with him, to just... Comfort him and tell him that he was a true knight.

They were standing alone in Arthur's chambers. The prince was looking at the floor in silence. He didn't look much like a champion. Merlin was just about to break the silence, but Arthur spoke first.

"I believed you... I trusted you. And you made me look... A complete fool."

"Arthur, I know things didn't go exactly to plan..." Merlin wasn't trying to defend himself, he was trying to defend Arthur. From himself.

"Didn't go to plan?" Arthur said, and got up from his position. He had been leaning against the table. Now he was facing Merlin, looking really pissed off. "My father and the entire royal court think I'm a coward! You humiliated me!" That was unfair. This wasn't Merlin's fault! They looked each other in the eye, and Merlin could see Arthur's anger fade.

"We can still expose Valiant!" he said as Arthur turned away.

"I no longer recwaier your servises."

"You're sacking me?"

"I need a servant I can trust..." That hurt so badly. Those words coming from the prince...

"You can trust me!"

"And look where it got me this time! Get out of my sight!"

Merlin felt defeated. Beaten. Just... Fucking _broken_. How could he protect Arthur if Arthur hated him? Just the thought of the prince hating him almost forced the tears to fall. He just needed to hear that everything was going to be fine. That it _was _his destiny to protect Arthur. He just had to hear it. Therefor, he went down to the great dragon.

He felt a bit better after talking to the dragon. According to it, there was no doubt that their paths lay together. Just hearing that made Merlin's heart jump. Even if Arthur hated him, he would still protect him to the end. He just had to figure out a way to do it...

The spell that was the only solution was too hard for him. He just couldn't get it right. He was trying to turn a statue of a dog into a real dog. If he made it, he could turn the snakes on Valiant's shield into real snakes while he was fighting Arthur, then everyone could see them. If the spell just hadn't been so hard!

After hours of trying he still couldn't get it right. He was running out of time. He had to try something else... He had to make Arthur withdraw from the tournament. The chances were slim, but it was better than trying to enchant a spell that was too hard for him.

He stood outside of Arthur's chambers. The door was open, and he could see Arthur. He was just standing there, looking thoughtful. Merlin slowly entered. Arthur looked at him, and sighted.

"I thought I told you to get out of my sight..." there was no anger in his voice. He just sounded tired.

"Don't fight Valiant in the final tomorrow." that was all Merlin could say, really. _Please, Arthur... _"He'll use the shield against you."

"I know!" _What? That means... _Arthur believed him. He... Maybe he would withdraw?

"Then withdraw! You have to withdraw!"

"Don't you understand? I can't withdraw. The people expect their prince to fight. How can I lead men into battle if they think I'm a coward?"

"Valiant will kill you! If you fight you die!"

"Then I die!" Arthur almost shouted. _How can anyone be so brave? And so STUPID?_

"How can you go out there and fight like that?"

"Because I have to. It's my duty." he said, and looked at Merlin. His face looked serious, but his eyes looked scared. Merlin wanted to hug him. To tell him that he was going to make sure nothing happened to him. But he couldn't. The only thing he could do was get that damn spell right!

He was so tired... He had been up all night, trying to turn the statue into a real dog. It hadn't worked at all. _I have to hurry... Arthur will die... _He continued saying those words, until he suddenly heard barking. "I did it!" he shouted, and then ran out of his rom so that he wouldn't be eaten alive. He had to hurry! The battle had already started! "Whatever you do, don't go into my room!" he said to Gaius before running off.

When he came down to the field, Arthur was already in big trouble. He was pinned down by the shield, and if he didn't get away from there, it wouldn't matter that Merlin could summon the snakes. Luckily, he managed to get away, even though he had lost his sword. Merlin whispered the spell, and the snakes appeared. "Now everyone can see you for what you really are!" Arthur said, and that strong undertone was back in his voice. The voice that made him sound like a champion.

Even with this he barely made it. Morgana even had to throw him a sword. But in the end, he had killed both of the snakes and Valiant.

The feast was great. Arthur walked in to the sound of applause, and a smile on his face. Merlin smiled too. Until Arthur walked up to Morgana and took her by the arm. Merlin didn't really know why... It just annoyed him. A lot. They got into a fight, and they both walked off annoyed. _Not a good pair, _he thought as Arthur stood beside him.

"Can you believe Morgana? She said she saved me! Like I needed any help!" he then looked at Merlin, and smiled. It was a smile full of secrets. A smile full of trust. "I wanted to say... I made a mistake. It was wrong of me to sack you."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Merlin said, smiling. "You can buy me a drink, and we'll call it even."

"Eh... I can't really be seen buying drinks to my servant."

"Your servant?" Merlin felt his heart jump with joy. "You... You sacked me."

"Now I'm re-hiring you." They both smiled. Smiles filled with trust and secrets.

_Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm sorry about it being so slow, but it's just kind of how I like it. But I think my chapters need more slash! I just don't want things to go too fast. I can't have them kissing in like the 2. chapter. lol. But yeah, tell me what you think and fave/follow, I will be happy. :D_


	3. Chapter 3 Feelings You Never Forget

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 3. - Feelings you never forget._

They were out hunting. Just the two of them. Merlin liked those trips, when it was just him and Arthur. It made them seem somehow closer. But hunting wasn't Merlin's favorite thing to do. He was a bit clumsy after all, and Arthur always yelled at him for letting the pray get away. Once again, the deer had run away, and Arthur was angry. Then they heard screams.

"What was that?"

"Sh! Quiet." They heard someone calling out for help again.

"Come on!" Arthur said and hurried in the direction of the voices.

After just a minute they could see the people who had called out for help. It was a lady with a hood, and an old man, probably her father. It looked like they were being robbed. But of course, the great prince of Camelot wouldn't let that happen.

The fight was over in no-time. The robbers weren't even half decent fighters. But even so, Merlin had stepped in and helped Arthur.

"And let that be a lesson to you!" Merlin said as the last one ran off. Arthur looked at him and rolled his eyes. "What? I was covering your back." Arthur just rolled his eyes again. Merlin knew that he didn't knew. And that was a good thing. Merlin didn't want Arthur to know about his magic, for obvious reasons.

Arthur walked up to the two, and asked if they were hurt. The lady showed her hood back, and revealed a beautiful face and locks of blonde hair.

"No, thanks to you." she said, and smiled. "I'm Sophia, and this is my father."

"Arthur Pendragon." Arthur said, and looked at the girl with at bit too dreamy-eyes. For some reason that put Merlin off, and he was already starting to dislike her. That irritated him. Why would he dislike a person just because Arthur's eyes looked dreamy. That was ridiculous! Never the less, Merlin couldn't shake the feeling off. It all became too much when Arthur bowed and kissed her hand while saying "At your service." _What? Really? 'at your service'? _Merlin looked annoyed, but hid it well. He was good at hiding things after all.

Arthur and Merlin had brought them to court, or Arthur had, Merlin was just standing there while Ulfrik, who was the father of the lady, where they came from. Arthur had his eyes on Sophia all the time. And Merlin was starting to get more and more annoyed. He stepped a bit closer to the prince, without him noticing. Just to... Be closer to him.

"You must stay here awhile, break your journey. A noble family like yours is always welcome at Camelot." Uther said. And Merlin almost swore out loud. Arthur smiled and looked pleased. That bastard. They even smiled to each other when Sophia left the room!

"Put her in a decent room." Arthur said. Merlin wanted to test how much he actually liked her.

"The room next door is empty." he said, and looked at Arthur. Hopefully Arthur said no... Hopefully.

"Well, next door is fine." he said, without looking at Merlin. Merlin was disappointed. He honestly felt a bit hurt. That was silly. Why would he feel hurt? And of course he had to add "Excellent, in fact." _Seriously, Arthur... You can do better than her._ Merlin blushed by his own thoughts. What was he doing? He had no right to tell who was good or bad for Arthur. Who would he chose for Arthur if he _did _have the choice? Merlin thought about all the girls he knew. No, nobody deserved Arthur. Merlin knew that Arthur was a great man when he travelled all the way to the caves to find the Mortius. Even though Uther had forbidden it. Arthur was a great prince, and would become a great king. Better than his father.

Arthur finally looked at Merlin. They exchanged a look, and Merlin had a feeling Arthur could read his thoughts.

"Shut up, Merlin." he said, and smiled. Merlin felt a bit better.

"What? I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to." Arthur said, and stepped closer to Merlin. "I want you to know that my intentions towards Sophia are completely honorable." Merlin smiled, and looked at Arthur. Arthur bit his lip and stepped even closer. "Put her in a room on the other side of the castle." Merlin almost couldn't hide a smile. "It's warmer, more comfortable." Arthur said, to make an excuse for doing what he knew Merlin wanted. "Of course." Merlin said, but he still wasn't satisfied.

"She is very beautiful." he said, trying to lead the conversation.

"Yes she is..." _Damn. He really likes her. _Merlin didn't want to stand in his way, and it all ended with Sophia staying next door.

Even though Merlin didn't like her, he did all that he could to be nice to her, and tried so hard to like her. With the way Arthur looked at her... She could be a future queen. Merlin's only hope was the king. Uther probably wasn't a fan of the match. He didn't like anything that wasn't his own idea after all. For some reason, Morgana didn't like her either. Maybe she too was jealous. _Wait, she might be jealous, but I'm not. _Of course he was. What other feeling could this be? He felt kind of depressed, like he knew the good times that he and Arthur always had were coming to an end. He didn't want them to end. Not ever.

"I'm taking Sophia out for a ride today, to show her around. And... I'm supposed to be on a patrol this morning... So, I need you to cover for me." _You need me to what!? _"What, and lie to the king? No! No way! He'll see right through me! He'll have me in the stocks faster than you can say rotten tomatoes!" Merlin said and leaned on the bed. He knew he would have to do it in the end...

"Merlin, I need you to do this for me." Arthur said, and looked into Merlin's eyes. Merlin sighted.

"I'm a terrible lier! I start sweating, my vision turns blurry... My brain stops working."

"Well, no changes there then." Arthur said and smiled. "I promised Sophia I'd take her out... And if I don't show up, It'll blow my chances." _Your chances. _As much as Merlin wanted Arthur's chances to be blown to hell, he couldn't refuse when Arthur looked at him like that... With those blue, gorgeous eyes. _Wait? What? Gorgeous eyes? No. Piercing eyes. Yes. Piercing blue eyes._

"You like her then?" Merlin said. He wanted to look away, but couldn't look away from the prince

. "Yeah. What's not to like? I want to spend some more time with her... But... I need to get my father off my back." Merlin didn't want Arthur to spend time with her. Why was that? Why would he deny Arthur happiness? God, he was being selfish. Arthur still hadn't taken his eyes off Merlin. Still holding the contact between the pair off two blue eyes, he delivered the finishing-blow. "I can't order you to lie to the king, but... You'll be a friend for life if you do." Merlin couldn't say no to that. He just couldn't.

"Oh, go on then. You don't want to keep her waiting." Merlin said, trying to smile. Arthur lit up, and smiled widely. He tapped Merlin friendly on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Merlin. I won't forget this!" he said, and ran off.

_Okay? Why the hell did I agree to this again? Oh, yeah, friend for life. _The king entered. He didn't look too pleased.

"Where is my son?"

"I'm not sure. I think there has been a mistake. But it's not his fault. Arthur's I mean..."

"Stop jibbering and tell me where he is." The king said. _Shit, he already sounds annoyed. I'm so dead._

"No... It's probably.. Yes, it's definitely my fault." _Goodbye world._

"Where is Arthur?!" Uther almost shouted.

"He is not here." Merlin said, stating the obvious.

"I can see that."

"Arthur wasn't sure of his orders, so he made me check with the guards if he was riding out this morning, and well... I might have forgotten."

"You forgot?" Uther seemed calm, but Merlin knew there was a storm coming.

"I'm sorry my lord. I'm sure he would have been here, had I told him."

"If this was a time of war, I would have you flogged." Uther said, eyes darkening.

"And since it's not we can let it go, just this once?" Merlin said, still trying to hold on to a tiny little hope.

And later, it actually just seemed like seconds, he found himself in the stocks, covered in rotten tomatoes._ Well, at least now I have a friend for life._ Merlin didn't even know if Arthur had been serious or not. He just hoped he had... If he could stay by Arthur's side forever, he would be happy. _Why am I so devoted? _He just couldn't see why. It had been like this for a while. This feeling of... Friendship. But, it was something more than that. Merlin would die for Arthur. And that was not because it was his destiny. It was something else. Something Merlin couldn't answer.

The next morning, Merlin walked into Arthur's chambers, to find him fully dressed.

"You're supposed to be wearing these!" Merlin said and shook the armor in front of him. "One of you're men will receive the knighthood! Don't you have to be there?" "Not necessarily." Arthur said. Merlin just knew where this was going.

"Won't the king mind?"

"Not if you cover for me again. By the way, thanks for yesterday, I heard you ended up in the stocks, bad luck." For some reason it didn't seem like Arthur cared. It annoyed Merlin a bit.

"They were throwing potatoes at me! It's only supposed to be rotten fruit!"

"I don't think there are any rules for that. But, if it's any consolation, I think it was worth it." _Damn. _So they had even had a nice day...

"So, it went well?" Merlin said, and looked away. Arthur had that dreamy look again.

"Yes. It was great. She is great."

"I'll find a way to get you out of it." Merlin said, still looking away. Arthur suddenly grabbed his wrist.

"Just make sure you don't end up in the stocks this time." Merlin met his eyes.

"I won't." Arthur nodded, let go of his wrist, smiled and left the room.

Merlin had ended up in the stocks again. Well, lying to Uther was pretty hard. All in all, Merlin was feeling rather down when i walked home. But who would have thought that Gaius would cheer him up? The whole deal about Sophia and her father were evil, made Merlin more happy than it strictly spoken should have. But... Poor Morgana. If she really was a seer, and what she had seen in her dream became reality... But even though he now knew that Arthur's life was in danger, he felt better. He knew that he would have to save him, like he always did.

Merlin decided to find out more about his enemy, so when he saw Ulfrik sneak out in the middle of the night, he followed him. He headed for the lake that lay outside camelot. Merlin had been there sometimes with Arthur.

The old man stood in front of the lake, and shouted some words that Merlin thought sounded like a spell, while he lifted his staff. The lake suddenly turned bright blue, like it was a light coming from it. The colour was the same as the colour in the crystal on Ulfrik's staff. Small blue and white lights also appeared, flying around so quickly, Merlin couldn't identify what they were. With a spell he slowed everything down, and could see what they were. They looked like elves, blue elves. For some reason seeing them made Merlin happy. Like it was good knowing that magical creatures were so near Camelot.

Merlin's smile disappeared, as soon as he heard that they were going to sacrifice Arthur, so that Sophia could get a life of immortality. Merlin would never let that happen.

Gaius was amazed by the fact that Merlin had seen "Avelon" the land of eternal youth. Merlin was too hung up in how to save Arthur.

"We're dealing with a Shee." Gaius said, while looking at the book.

"That doesn't sound like a good thing."

"They are masters of enchantment."

"You think Arthur has been enchanted?" Merlin said, and couldn't hide the joy in his voice. Maybe his feelings towards Sophia were only because he was under a spell! _Why am I so hung up on this? _"I'm afraid Morgana's dream is coming true." Gaius said with a worried look.

In the morning Arthur had requested an audience. To Merlin, this could only be bad. The Shees had probably taken one step closer to sacrificing Arthur. "We're in love. Which is why I come before you today to ask your permission to marry." Arthur said. Even though Merlin knew that he was under a spell, he couldn't help but feel a bit _hurt. _He didn't know why himself, but he just felt so down. Uther only laughed. Merlin didn't really like the king, but now, his laughter was a bless from the heavens.

"I assume you are joking." The king said with a smile.

"No. I'm going to marry her." Arthur said it with so much persistence that Merlin _knew _he had been enchanted. This wasn't the Arthur he knew.

"But you only met two days ago." Uther said, the smile was gone now.

"We're in love." Arthur said slowly, as if he thought the king hadn't heard him the first time. The words went through Merlin's heart like a blade. Uther still wasn't taking things seriously.

"In love... We had no idea you were such a romantic, had we? Morgana?" he said and looked over at Morgana. She looked very serious. No wonder, thought Merlin. Her dream was not that far away now

. "No... He is full of surprises." She said, not looking amused at all.

"I'm going to marry her. I don't care what either of you think about it." Arthur said. No, this definitely wasn't Arthur. He would never have the guts to say something like that to his father.

"I thought you've come to ask my permission."

"For courtesy, nothing more." Arthur said, took Sophias hand, and turned around to leave.

"Guards, door." Uther said, and the guards blocked the way. Uther got up. _He is probably mad._

"You're forgetting who's court you're standing in."

"You won't stop me. If I want to marry her, I will." Arthur said, still not afraid, and still not backing down.

For once, Merlin was on Uther's side. He wondered what he would do now...

"Arrest Ulfrik and Sophia Timor." he said.

"What are you doing?" Uther only smiled.

"And inform the executor that his services will be required tomorrow morning."

"You can't do this!" Arthur said with a hint of panic in his voice.

"Yes I can! And unless you show me some respect, I will!" Uther said, and looked at Arthur with the mother of all death-glares. _Yeah! Go Uther! You're the king! You're the man! _Merlin thought, and almost started cheering for Uther out loud. Arthur backed down. "Release them." Uther said, and the guards let go of the two Shees. "You've got your whole life ahead of you. Sophia is without a doubt your first love, but she won't be the only one." Uther said, and sat down on his trone again. For some reason, that sentence made Merlin happy. He couldn't describe it. It just gave him a feeling of... Hope.

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers. He looked depressed. He just looked up at Merlin, before saying "Get out."

"I thought the king was a bit harsh."

"No need for sympathy, Merlin, especially not from you." That actually hurt a bit, but, Merlin had to remember that Arthur wasn't himself.

"But I do think he had a point."

"I ordered you to get out! Now leave me!" He now looked angry. Merlin still didn't leave. He had to see how strong the enchantment was.

"I know you think you know what you're doing, and I know you think you are in love with Sophia..."

"Who are you to tell me what I'm thinking?!" Arthur cut him off.

"I'm your friend." Merlin said, and looked into his angry, blue eyes.

"No Merlin, you're my servant." he said, cold. Merlin had to push back his own feelings. He was really hurt now. Tears almost forming in his eyes. Just hearing Arthur say such words... Even if he was under a spell... He wanted it to end now.

"You don't know what you're doing! She has cast a spell on you! You are enchanted!" Their eyes met, and for a moment Merlin could see the old Arthur in those eyes. _Please come back... And say you didn't mean those words... Please..._

"I told you people would try to keep us apart." Sophia and her father had just entered.

"I know. I won't let that happen." Arthur said, and looked at her.

"Don't listen to her! She is controlling you!" Merlin could see Arthur hesitating. Could he really talk him out of the spell?

"We can elope together! Get away from this place! These people!" Sophia said.

"I saw you!" Merlin said, and looked at the old man. "I followed you." He looked back at Arthur. "They are planning to sacrifice you."

"Do you let your servant talk to your guests this way?" Ulfrik said, challenging.

"I know what you are going to do, because I followed you to the lake, and I heard everything!" Merlin said, a bit louder than necessary. But he was just so worked up from the harsh things that Arthur had said. "You have to believe me!" Merlin said, and looked beggingly at Arthur, who looked confused.

"Don't listen to him. Let's go. Let's leave tonight." Sophia said, with that soft, fake voice. _God I hate her._

"She is going to kill you! Sophia plans to sacrifice you to buy a life of immortality! If you go with her, you'll die!" _Please. Stay here. Stay with me._

"It doesn't make any sense... We're in love." Arthur said, and looked at Merlin. _Come back to me, Arthur._

"They are magical beings! Look at the writing on his staff!" Merlin said and tried to grab Ulfrik's staff. He pulled it out of the way, and his eyes turned red. "Look at his eyes! Look at him! Do you believe me now?! Arthur?! Do you see!?" Arthur had been looking away, but now he turned to face Merlin.

"I see everything." Arthur said, and for the first time, Merlin was actually scared of the prince. His eyes had turned bright red, and they had a look of... Nothing. They were just lifeless. Like he was already dead, and the body standing there was just empty. Merlin backed away, and was just about to run out of the room, when Ulfrik lifted his staff and sent a light that hit Merlin in his chest. He was thrown backwards, and hit his head against the stone wall. Then, everything went black.

When he woke up, the first thing he saw was the not that good looking face of Gaius. His vision was still blurry, and his head hurt like hell.

"Where is Arthur? I have to go after him..." Was all he managed to say. Gaius helped him stand up, but it was hard. His legs felt weak, and he was dizzy. "I have to go."

"Not like this! It's only due to your power that you survived this at all!" Gaius said and held his shoulders so he wouldn't fall over again.

"I'm fine. He needs me." _He needs me. _After receiving a warning from Gaius, he ran off after Arthur. He knew where they were going. The lake.

Merlin had never runned so far and so fast before in his life. Even though his heart threatened to rip his chest in two, he kept going. He knew he had to save Arthur. He was the only one who could save him. He was not going to let him die! It was almost dawn. How long had he been laying there on the floor? Was it for too long?

He was so tired... Had been running for so long. His legs felt weird. Sort of heavy. He even managed to trip and fall. But he got up again in seconds, and ran, and ran, and ran. _This is for Arthur. Just wait for me! I'll be there. I will be there._

Merlin was there. He saw Ulfrik standing there, shouting a spell. Sophia stood in the water. Where was Arthur? Was he already drowning!? Merlin didn't have much time.. What was he going to do? He didn't know any spells for... Killing people. He saw Sophias staff laying on the ground, and with magic he picked it up. As soon as it was in his hand, he felt power flowing from the staff and into him. He just _knew _how to use it. He pointed it at Ulfrik, and said the spell that he knew would kill him. A blue light shot from the staff, and hit Ulfrik. He exploded. Like literally exploded. Merlin pointed the staff at Sophia, and did the same to her. He had never killed anyone, but he didn't feel bad about it. They had tried to kill Arthur, and they had died for it. That's right! Arthur! Where as he!?

Merlin ripped off his jacket and threw it on the ground while sprinting into the water, while calling for Arthur. "Arthur! Arthur?" He shouted and looked down in the water. He must have been under for quite some time now. Maybe it was already too late?

Merlin dived down into the water, and swam around to try to find him. But the water was yellow, and it made his eyes sting. But he kept them open. Soon he had to return to the surface for air. He breathed in, and in the next second he was under again. There! He could see Arthur. It was far to swim, but he had to... He swam down, and grabbed Arthur. He was so heavy. Why the hell was he wearing an armour?! His lungs screamed for air, but he couldn't let Arthur go. He couldn't! After what seemed like an eternity, he finally pierced the surface, and could breath. He held Arthur close, and dragged him to the shore. He wasn't breathing. He... Wasn't breathing!? _What do I do?! Spells... Come on Merlin... _But his mind was clouded. He was exhausted. He couldn't think of anything. "Come on Arthur!" Merlin said helplessly. It couldn't be too late... Merlin could only think of one thing to do. He put his lips on Arthur's and breathed out, hard, filling Arthur's lunges with air. His lips were cold and soft. It felt weird... But it wasn't a real kiss, after all. After a few breaths Arthur coughed, and opened his eyes. Merlin couldn't help but smile.

"Arthur!" he said, and, without thinking, he hugged him tightly. Arthur hugged Merlin back, before looking him in the eyes.

"You saved my life." he said and smiled.

"I..." Merlin didn't get the chance to say anything, because the prince eyes closed, and he fainted.

He just sat there, watching Arthur sleep. He made some noises, and finally woke up.

"What happened?" he asked, without opening his eyes.

"Don't you remember anything?" Merlin said, a bit relieved. He didn't want Arthur to remember about the hug, or the "kiss"

"Oh... Oh... My head." Arthur said, while getting up, and grabbing his hair. "There was a girl." Arthur said, suddenly remembering things. Merlin just hoped he wouldn't remember much more. "Sophia... I asked my father something about her... I asked him..." Arthur obviously remembered, and sat up in shock. Merlin smiled. It really had been just a spell. "What was I thinking?" Nothing made Merlin more happy than to hear those words. He kept his pokerface on.

"Well, we did wonder. Especially when you elope with her last night."

"I did what?!"

"Merlin had to bring you back to Camelot." Gaius, who was also sitting there, said, a bit amused. He and Merlin had come up with this lie.

"I don't recall any of this!" Arthur said, and looked from Merlin to Gaius, then back to Merlin. Merlin just shrugged his shoulders.

"It must have been some blow." Gaius said. Merlin had a hard time not laughing.

"What blow?" Arthur kept staring at Merlin

. "Well, when I caught up with you, I couldn't persuade you to return, you were beyond reason. So I had to make you." Arthur just looked at him with shock written all over his face. The expression was hilarious.

"You managed to knock me out?" Arthur couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yep." Merlin said, pretending to be proud of himself. "With a lump of wood."

"He only did it to bring you back." Gaius explained.

"No-one can know about it! Any of it! Is that understood?" Arthur held up a finger to make sure his message got through to the two who knew the most embarrassing story of his life. Merlin and Gaius looked at each other, and Merlin almost burst out in laughter. Almost.

In the end, Merlin had to take the blame once again. Arthur's headache had stopped him from going on his patrol, and his father was not pleased. Merlin had to step in, again. But, it wasn't that bad. Arthur had been rather down, and the king insulting Merlin seemed to make him feel better. As Merlin stood there in the stocks, covered in rotten tomatoes, he couldn't help but feel happy, despite the circumstances. And he couldn't forget about the feeling he had had when his lips met Arthur's. He would never forget that feeling.

_Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I've been looking forward to write from this episode a long time, so now I finally did it! Please review/fave/follow if you liked this story! It makes me so happy. If you want to know, the title of this fiction is from a song by My Chemical Romance called Early Sunsets Over Monroeville, and it's one of my favorite songs. _


	4. Chapter 4 A Free Mind

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 4. - A Free Mind_

Arthur had been having the same dream over and over again. He dreamt that he was laying under water, and then Merlin saved him. In his dream, they lay there in the water, and Merlin wrapped his arms around him and said that it was going to be OK. That everything was going to be fine. And then they kissed. Arthur always woke up after that, feeling not only embarrassed but... It had been so _real. _The first nights he had punished himself, and Merlin for the dreams. And he hadn't told anyone about them, of course. But now, he was starting to like the dream, even though he hated admitting it. But the feeling of Merlin's lips on his... He just liked it. He had to be honest with himself. And after a while, he had grown used to the dream, and rather enjoyed it. His excuse was that he couldn't decide his dreams, but recently, he had started daydreaming about it too. _I can think what I want. I'm free in my mind. _Arthur thought.

He looked over at Merlin. He looked depressed, no wonder. His mother had just come to Camelot, begging Uther to help her and her village. They were being robbed by bandits, and would probably starve to death. Uther had refused to help them, and in a way Arthur understood his decision. They couldn't risk was for the sake of one village. But then again, there was Merlin's eyes. They normally looked so happy, but now, they were sad. Arthur couldn't bare to see Merlin like that. Even if it meant war. He didn't care.

"I'm sorry." was all he could say. "If it was up to me, we'd be on our way there right now." he added, just to make sure Merlin understood. Merlin nodded.

"Well, you tried. And thank you for getting an audience with the king. Arthur didn't want Merlin to thank him.

"I wish Camelot were able to help people regardless of how far away they lived." Merlin turned around and looked at Arthur.

"I'm going back to Ealdor." Arthur felt disappointed. _God, I'm so selfish! _

"Of course." he said, trying to sound understanding. _He'll probably just be a few weeks. I'll see him again soon. _Arthur thought, but then, Merlin said something more.

"It's been an honor serving you." Arthur looked up to meet Merlin's eyes. _You're gonna leave me like this?_

"You'll be coming back?" Arthur said, and tried to hide the worry in his voice.

"She is my mother. I have to look after her before anyone else..." Merlin said, and tried to smile. Arthur did not return it. He just stared out over his city."You understand?" Merlin said, now sounding a bit worried. _I don't want to understand._

"I'd do exactly the same." _for you._ Arthur said, without looking at Merlin.

An unpleasant silence appeared. Merlin probably felt bad about leaving. To just get rid of the tension Arthur broke it.

"Well, you've been terrible. Really, I mean it. The worst servant I've ever had." he smiled while thinking back to all the good times he had had with Merlin. Merlin smiled one of those smiles that Arthur found adorable. _Eh, I mean... Nice._

"Thank you, sire." he said, and turned to leave.

"Merlin." Merlin stopped. Arthur wanted to say so many things, but all he could come up with at the moment was. "Good luck." Merlin smiled, nodded, then left. Arthur just stood there, and understood what had just happened.

He had just lost Merlin. Merlin was going to leave him and go back to his village. Like hell Arthur was going to let that happen! And what could Merlin do to help anyway? He wasn't much of a fighter! What if he got himself killed? Arthur would never forgive himself if anything happened to Merlin. And he wouldn't be able to get by without him anyway. As much as his pride hated it, he had to admit that he cared for his manservant._ As a friend. Or_... He thought about his dreams, and blushed. _Something more._

Arthur walked back and forth in his chambers. They were a mess. He had been throwing things randomly around. Why? Just because. Nobody was going to yell at him for making a mess anyway. _Because Merlin is gone. _He hated the feeling. That empty feeling that was eating him away. He felt so down. Like nothing in the world mattered anymore. And did it? What if Merlin was already dead?! Out in the forest alone... _This is Merlin we are talking about! The most important person in the world! Why the __**hell **__am I just sitting here?! _Arthur got up, gathered his armour and some supplies, then he snuck out. There was just _no way_ he was going to let Merlin get away from him that easily.

He had been riding for hours. How long could they have gotten? His hunter-senses picked up the smell of smoke. He was getting closer. But then again, it could be somebody else. Arthur got off his horse, and tied it to a tree. He drew his sword, and carefully walked closer to where the smoke came from. In the moonlight he could see a person standing a couple of feet away, holding a sword. There was no way Arthur could ever forget that siluette. God, Merlin looked stupid with a sword in his hand. He carefully snuck up on him, and pointed the sword at his back. "I'd ask you for money, but I know you don't have any." he said, and smiled at the joke. "Arthur!" Merlin called out and turned around, swinging his sword. Luckily, Arthur dodged it, and their eyes met.

Merlin's eyes were pure joy. It looked like he had just found a treasure. Or saved someone. Or married. He looked so happy. Arthur just wanted to hug him. To hold him. He blushed at the thought, and decided to insult Merlin instead. That was fun, after all.

"Put down the sword, Merlin, you look ridiculous." It wasn't just an insult, it was the truth.

They were sitting at the fireplace, just sitting there. Arthur realised how much he had missed being with Merlin. And they had only been apart for some hours. It was the thought of Merlin being _away _from him that had made Arthur go crazy. He never wanted to feel so... Hollow ever again.

"How many men are they?"

"My mother says they may be as many as forty." That was more than Arthur had hoped for. But, never the less, he wouldn't turn back now anyway. Not when he was reunited with Merlin. Arthur felt pathetic, but also something else. It wasn't pride, but a kind of a satisfaction of the thought that he was going to help Merlin. And be with him.

"You should get some rest, it's gonna be a long day tomorrow." he said, and looked over at Merlin, who smiled.

"Thank you. I know you didn't have to come." _Silly Merlin, of course I had to come. You're here._

"Get some sleep." Arthur said. He didn't want to admit how dedicated he was. Not yet.

Arthur had never fought alongside Merlin. And his first experience wasn't the best one. He had to be saved by Morgana because he was too focused on Merlin. _That idiot is going to get me killed. _But, then again, the few men they had to fight were no match. Merlin had even killed one. Like.. It's Merlin... Almost immediately after the fight, Arthur saw Merlin talking to one of the villagers. They seemed really friendly. For some reason it annoyed Arthur. And when they hugged, Arthur almost felt angry. Of course, the great Arthur Pendragon wasn't jealous... He just... Didn't like people who hugged Merlin. _I am so messed up, _he thought. But he really didn't like Merlin talking to that guy, so he told him to gather the villagers. At once.

The guy Merlin had been talking to (his name was Will, or something...) turned out to be a coward. But not the Merlin-kind-of-coward, no he was more like an annoying-coward. Arthur liked him less and less by the second. Will actually walked out during his speech! Sure, this wasn't Arthur's kingdom, but he was still a _prince _and he was here to help them. He thought he deserved some respect. And what made Arthur even more irritated was the fact that Merlin followed him. Hopefully he could talk some sense into the sissy. Or... Merlin wasn't brave, he was pretty much a coward too, but he was a cute coward. Arthur mentally hit himself for thinking that Merlin was cute. But, honestly, he could be rather cute. And annoying. Mostly annoying, and a tiny bit cute... Yeah.

Luckily, the other villagers were brave people, who wanted to fight for their freedom. It made Arthur warm at heart. He loved seeing people who stood up to injustice.

Arthur rather liked Ealdor. It was a cosy, little village. And he could spend _all _his time with Merlin. Hell, right now, they were even sleeping next to each other. Not side by side, which had disappointed Arthur a bit (not that he would ever admit that). He liked laying like this. If he could have, he would have slept next to Merlin every night. It was nice, because they just laid there, talking. Not about plans, or things Merlin was supposed to do. Just, friendly things. Like Merlin's past. Arthur couldn't imagine a life where you had to sleep on the floor. But Merlin didn't seem to mind.

"Then why did you leave?" Merlin hesitated, before answering.

"Things just... Changed." Stupid Merlin, playing interesting.

"Stop pretending to be interesting and tell me." Arthur said and put his feet in his face.

"I just didn't fit in anymore. I wanted to found someplace that I did."

"Had any luck?" Arthur wanted Merlin to say yes. To say that he would stay with him, forever. And that things could stay like this.

"I'm not sure yet." Merlin said, but Arthur knew he was smiling. After that, they went to sleep, and Arthur had the dream again.

Even though they weren't at the castle, Merlin still helped Arthur dress. It was not just an habit, Arthur had come to enjoy being dressed by his servant. Feeling his arms wrap around him, and the soft touches of his long fingers. Arthur was at peace with his own mind, no longer embarrassed by the feelings he clearly had for his servant. As long as he didn't tell anyone about it, or acted on them, he could keep enjoying them. It was his own mind after all. A place where he would always be king.

Arthur looked at Merlin. He looked worried, like something was bothering him. Arthur wanted to ask about it, but not in front of everyone. He kind of felt that Merlin trusted him more than he did the others. Sure, Gwen was a good friend of his, but not better than Arthur. Arthur liked the thought of being Merlin's best friend. It made him feel superior to everyone else.

The people of Ealdor were lucky to have Arthur as an instructor. They weren't horrible, but they weren't great either. Arthur was beginning to wonder if they would stand a chance against Keinon... At least they had the spirit. They would need it. Arthur tried his best to keep the spirit up. He was being friendly, but they still seemed a bit intimidated by him, and it annoyed Arthur.

That was one of the great things about Merlin. He didn't treat Arthur like a prince. Or, he did, but not in the same way as other did. Merlin could yell at him for making his chambers look like a battlefield, or for spilling things. Or for giving him too much to do. Arthur liked that. He liked the fact that Merlin was honest with him.

When the day had passed, he was even more unsure of himself than he had been. The men looked tired, and Morgana and Gwen had even said that he should let the women fight. He knew he didn't have enough men. And that he wasn't just risking his own life, but the life of everyone in the village. And Merlin's life. The last mentioned seemed to be the most important in Arthur's mind.

The next morning didn't turn out any better. It was like everything they had worked for didn't matter, when the horse came riding back with the dead body of Matthew. Of course, Will, the great coward had to use this against Arthur. Arthur hadn't lead men into battle before, but he knew he was ready for it. Or, he had thought he was ready for it. Now, he wasn't too sure anymore.

"If it weren't for you, this would never have happened!" Will shouted, and looked angrily at Arthur. Arthur didn't know what to say, because he felt party guilty. But Merlin stood up for him, like he always did. "This wasn't his fault!" he said, and just by hearing those words, Arthur felt a bit better.

Everyone was defeated by Will's words.

"You're gonna be slaughtered." he had said. And Arthur was beginning to fear that he was right. He had let his mind fall into the darkness of doubt, when Merlin sat next to him.

"William's father died, fighting for king Cenrid, so he doesn't trust anyone with nobility." That was a poor excuse, but at least it was an excuse.

"Do you think the villagers believed him?" Arthur said. He knew they had been affected by his words, but he needed to know that not all hope was gone.

"No, he's always been a troublemaker. They're used to ignoring him." Merlin said, and smiled. But Arthur knew he was just trying to make him feel better. And he loved him for that. It hadn't occurred to him before now... He actually loved Merlin. The thought was as clear as the day. _I love him. _He loved how Merlin always tried to make him feel better when he was insecure. He loved how Merlin was so _real._

But, he had to see the reality now. Merlin was just trying to cheer him up, that did not mean they could actually win this battle.

"And if he's right?" Arthur wanted to hear Merlin say that he believed in him. He just needed to hear those words. They meant so much to him.

"He isn't."

"I'm treating these men like soldiers, and they're not. You've seen them fight! They haven't got a clue! We need to tell them all to leave the village before Keinon returns." Arthur said, and had made up his mind. If Merlin could change his mind... He was the one. Because nobody ever did chance Arthur's mind. And nobody ever made him feel sure about himself when he was feeling like this. Nobody except Merlin.

"No, we're going to stay. And we're going to fight, and we are going to win." Merlin said, and met Arthur's eyes.

"Merlin! It can't be done!" Merlin kept staring into his eyes, not letting them go.

"It can. You'll make Keinon regret the day he ever came to this village. All you need to do is get the men ready for battle. The rest... Will take care of itself." Merlin said, and he had a special look in his eyes. It was a look of secrets.

"How?"

"You've just got to believe in them, 'cause if you don't... They'll sense it. And the battle will be lost before it's even begun."

"I can't risk it!" Arthur said, and got to his feet. He wasn't angry, he was just... Frustrated, and honestly scared of what layed ahead.

"Keinon is not going to kill you... I think... Since you're the prince of Camelot." Merlin said, and looked down. _He thinks I'm thinking about myself?_

"I'm not talking about myself Merlin! I mean you!" It was said, and it couldn't be taken back. Merlin tilted his head and looked up at Arthur, not understanding what he was talking about. "I can't risk losing you." Arthur said, or whispered. He wasn't even sure if Merlin heard him. Merlin just sat there in silence. Seconds passed. They felt like hours. Arthur couldn't bear it anymore, so he turned and looked at Merlin, meeting his blue eyes. Suddenly a smile appeared on Merlin's face.

"Then don't." was all he said, before getting up and leaving Arthur.

_I can't believe I said that... Well, he probably knows I care... Just the fact that I'm here should give that away. But... I'm kind of glad I said it, because tomorrow might be our last day._

When Arthur was talking to the villagers the night before the battle, he felt... Calm. Like everything was going to be OK. He even let the women fight. When he was talking to them, he looked into Merlin's eyes, and those deep, blue eyes inspired him, and he delivered a speech that made everyone rise up and put their swords in the air while shouting "Ealdor!" But what meant the most to Arthur was the look in Merlin's eyes. It was a look that said; "I trust you entirely." And even if tomorrow was Arthur's last day, he would die happy, because he had seen that look in Merlin's eyes.

"No, not today. Put on your own." Arthur said when Merlin started putting on his armor. This was it. The day of the battle. They both stood there in the tiny house, putting on their own armor, like it was just another day. But it wasn't. Arthur was honestly scared. Even if everyone believed in him. Even if Merlin believed in him. He didn't believe in himself. He wasn't sure if he would e able to protect Merlin throughout the battle. Not that he wouldn't do his best, no, but... Battles were things you could never foresee. He couldn't know the outcome. He could only hope that Merlin would be all right.

He looked at him. He was struggling with his armor. Arthur stepped closer, (way closer than necessary) and helped him. Then he grabbed his shoulder, just to hold him. "You ready?" he wasn't even ready himself.

"My mouth's dry." Merlin mumbled, and looked at Arthur. His eyes looked frightened. Like he knew he was going to lose something. Arthur just smiled, and kept holding a tight grip around Merlin's shoulder. But he wasn't really touching _Merlin. _Just his armor. Arthur had sworn not to act on his feelings, but... This could be his last day. So he held his hand out, and Merlin grabbed it. Arthur just stood there, holding Merlin's cold, slightly trembling hand. He didn't want to let go. He stroke his thumb carefully over the cold skin on his hand. _Get a hold of yourself, Arthur. _But Merlin only smiled and squeezed his hand.

"It's been an honor." Arthur said, still not letting go of his hand. Merlin nodded, still smiling. Then they let go of each other, and Merlin turned away.

"Whatever happens out there... Please don't think any differently of me." Merlin said in a low voice, while not facing Arthur.

"I won't." Arthur said, not putting too much into the words. "It's alright to be scared, Merlin."

"That's not what I meant." Arthur looked at him. What was this all about?

"Then what is it? If you've got anything to say... Now is the time to say it." _What about all the things that you should say, Arthur? _Merlin hesitated, not opening his mouth. It looked like he was just about to say something, when Morgana walked in. _Damn that woman_.

"They've crossed the river." she said, and left, meaning for Arthur to follow. He was about to, but Merlin gripped hold of his hand, and he stopped.

"Promise me." he said, now looking really, really scared.

"Promise you what, Merlin?"

"That you won't think any different of me..." he said, looking away, and let go of Arthur's hand.

"I promise." Arthur said, smiled, and left the house.

He walked around, just talking to the men, and patting them on the shoulder. He wanted them to know that he was there to lead them to victory. He had to make them think that he believed in them. Honestly, deep down, he didn't.

They had a plan, and it was a good plan. Arthur had made the plan, so that Merlin had to stay close to him all the time. That would make it easier for Arthur to protect him. Right now they were hiding behind a house, watching all the men ride into the village, which now looked empty, because everyone was hiding. It really _was_ a good plan.

The fence had been taken up, trapping the horses. Morgana was supposed to light a fire, but it didn't happen.

"Something has gone wrong." Merlin ran off to help her, causing Arthur to panic.

"Merlin!" but Merlin ignored him, and was soon out of sight. How the hell was he going to protect him now?! He already had a bad feeling about this whole thing.

Merlin ran across the field, Arthur _knew _they could see him. And they had crossbows. _Oh God, please don't let them hit him._

Soon, the fire lit up. _I hope it was Merlin who succeeded more than Morgana. _The alternative was too horrible for Arthur to imagine.

The time was there, and Arthur gave the order to start the attack. They all hurried out of their hiding-places, shouting to keep the spirit alive. Arthur saw Merlin storming out together with Morgana, and the stone that had been sitting in his chest, disappeared.

The battlefield soon turned to chaos, and it was hard for Arthur to fight while constantly keeping an eye on Merlin, who was now fighting back to back with William. Hopefully, William was a good fighter. But Arthur wouldn't trust him with Merlin's life.

The next time Arthur turned to see how Merlin was doing, he was standing next to William, and in front of them was a whirlwind. It was too convenient. It was too good to be true. It wasn't made by nature. Arthur knew it. It was magic. It scared the enemy, and their horses, and soon, the battle was turned around in their advantage.

Was Merlin a sorcerer? Or was it William? It had to be one of them. But who? Arthur remembered what Merlin had said "Whatever happens out there, please don't think any different of me." Was this what he had meant? He had been planning to use magic all the time. "The rest... Will take care of itself." he had said. _If Merlin is a sorcerer... How do I feel about that? _Arthur thought. And he suddenly felt angry. Didn't Merlin trust him enough to tell him?! Weren't they friends? Why hadn't he told him?

"Pendragon!" Keinon called out, and stood there, ready to face Arthur. It fitted Arthur perfectly. He was so angry. He had to _kill someone. _With an anger, he didn't even know he could feel, he defeated Keinon, sticking the blade into him. It felt good. When he fell to the ground, the anger was gone, and Arthur felt something else. He felt hurt. Betrayed. Disappointed.

"Who did that?" he said, and walked towards Merlin.

"What?" Merlin said, playing oblivious. Did he really think Arthur was that stupid?!

"Wind like that doesn't just appear from nowhere! I know magic when I see it! One of you made that happen." he said, and looked into Merlin's eyes, trying to see if they could give the truth away. Merlin looked scared.

"Arthur..." he said, but was interrupted by Will.

"Look out!" he screamed, and pushed Arthur out of the way. A second later, Will kneeled on the ground with an arrow sticking out of his chest.

They quickly carried him inside, and he confessed. He said that he was the one to use magic, not Merlin. Arthur felt... He didn't know what to feel. He had been so sure Merlin was the sorcerer. But now, it turned out he wasn't. He wasn't happy, because Arthur secretly found magic fascinating and interesting, and if Merlin _was _a sorcerer, it would prove that not all magic is evil. He knew when he left the tent that Will would die.

"You knew that he was a sorcerer. That was what you were going to tell me." Arthur said, with a small question mark, as they saw Will's body being burned. He just needed to have it confirmed. He needed to know that he could trust Merlin. If Merlin was a sorcerer, it was better if he confessed. Arthur's feelings towards him wouldn't change. Arthur knew that, after thinking about it.

"Yes, it was." Merlin said, tears in his eyes. Arthur almost felt disappointed.

"You know how dangerous magic is. You shouldn't have kept this from me, Merlin." Arthur said, and looked at him. He just hoped Merlin wasn't lying to him.

_Thank you for reading this chapter! I really wasn't sure what to do with the end... I think we need a confession from Merlin soon. Please let me know what you think! And fave/follow if you want more! _


	5. Chapter 5 What's Truly In Your Heart

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 5. - What's Truly In Your Heart_

Merlin armed himself with a stick, and went into where Arthur had said that the pray was hiding. Why the hell did he have to scare it out? They didn't even know what it was! It could be dangerous, (therefore, the stick). Merlin did feel a bit better _with _the stick. Not that he actually needed it. He could probably kill the beast with magic, if he had to. But that would be a pain in the ass to explain to Arthur, and the two other knights who were with them. Merlin liked trips with just him and Arthur.

Merlin wondered what kind of animal it was. He hoped it wasn't something scary... Even though he knew Arthur was just a couple of feet away. He was currently sneaking around it. Merlin held his breath when he saw what it was they were hunting.

It was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. It was a horse, but at the same time, it wasn't. When Merlin saw it's horn, he knew that it was a unicorn. It was magnificent. As pure and white as snow. Merlin just stood there, gazing at the breathtaking animal. Then, he remembered it's fait. Arthur was going to kill it. He tried to scare it away, but the unicorn just stood there, looking at him with big, trusting eyes.

"Go! They're gonna kill you! Please go." But it was too late, he saw Arthur hiding behind a tree with his crossbow. "Arthur don't!" he yelled, but Arthur had allready pulled the trigger. The Unicorn fell to the ground. Merlin kneeled beside it, as he saw the life in it's eyes fade away.

Arthur came jumping down from his hiding-place, looking really pleased with himself.

"It's a unicorn!" he said, and sounded thrilled.

"What have you done?" Merlin just had a very bad feeling about it all.

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin." Arthur just laughed, and looked at what he had just killed.

Merlin walked behind Arthur into the Great Hall. Arthur wanted to show his father the horn of the unicorn. It had been cut off, and was now on a pillow, which Merlin carried. Just looking at it made him sick. Uther, however, was amazed.

Merlin could kind of understand why Arthur wanted to show it to his father. He knew how much Uther's respect and approval meant to him. When Uther smiled to Arthur, Merlin could see how glad it made Arthur. He could almost _feel _the happiness pour out of him. Merlin liked seeing Arthur happy, that wasn't the problem. It was just that he had a bad feeling about the unicorn. And Gaius didn't really help him feel any better about it. Not that it came as a shock to Merlin that there was a legend that said that bad fortune would come to anyone who slays a unicorn.

Merlin had been spacing out for a while, just standing there, by the window. Arthur was going on and on about chores he had for Merlin, but Merlin didn't listen. He just couldn't shake the bad feeling off. Like he knew something was going to happen. Something terrible.

"Merlin? Have you listen to a word I've said?" Arthur snapped him out of his trance. Merlin nodded, even though he hadn't been listening at all. Arthur didn't look mad. Because he didn't get mad. It was weird, but Merlin had noticed it lately. "Don't tell me you're still upset about the unicorn!" Arthur sighed.

"I just don't think you should have killed it."

"We were hunting, that's what you do. Would you have me bring it home as a pet?" Arthur said, with a smile, which Merlin didn't see, because his eyes were fixed on the ground. "Look at this!" Arthur almost yelled. Merlin looked up, and walked over to where Arthur was standing, pointing down on the floor. Rat droppings. "You need to spend less time worrying about unicorns, and more time worrying about rats!" Arthur said, angrily. Even though he wasn't really angry.

Merlin just knew something bad would happen! And now, all the crops were dead. And not just that... All the plants that were edible. Every other plant seemed unharmed. Merlin just knew it was magic. Even though Gaius wanted to believe otherwise. There was no other explanation. Merlin kept thinking about the legend. Bad fortune to anyone who slays a unicorn. Well, if this wasn't bad fortune, then Merlin honestly didn't know what was.

And if having no food wasn't bad enough, another crisis struck Camelot the same day. All the water in the wells turned to sand. The weird thing about the sand, was that it couldn't be turned back into water, no matter how much Merlin tried. It kind of scared him. Because this magic was more powerful than his. He felt... Not good enough.

Merlin had been in Arthur's chambers, searching for the rat. In the mood the prince was in, Merlin wanted to do anything to make him feel better. It was dark, so Merlin didn't really expect to run into Arthur.

"The city is under curfew! You can't be out at this time." he said, and looked at Merlin as he was comitting a huge crime. "I can't have my own servant being caught." he said, and looked like he was trying to think of a resolution to the problem. _Can't I just go home? _Merlin didn't really see the problem.

"What was that?" Arthur said, breaking the silence that had appeared between them.

"What?" Merlin had been looking in another direction, and not seen whatever Arthur had. Arthur just gave him a tap on the shoulder, then started running. Merlin followed.

They ran in the corridors, splitting up to corner their enemy. But, when they met up again, none of them had passed anyone. But, right before Arthur was about to accuse Merlin of letting him slip past him, they saw a shadow. Merlin thought it looked like an old man with a hood. And a staff.

Again, they split up, only to have the exact same result.

"Where is he?" Arthur asked, annoyed.

"I didn't see anybody."

"He was right here! Don't tell me you let him get past you!"

"Arthur! No one passed me!" Merlin answered back.

"Are you blind?" Arthur was about to throw another insult, but was topped by a voice.

"Are you looking for me?" They both turned their heads toward the voice.

Merlin had seen that man before. In the forest, right after the unicorn was killed.

"I am Anhora. Keeper of the unicorns." the old man said, and looked at them with big, grey, scary eyes. Merlin stepped one step closer to Arthur, without him noticing. Arthur, however, did not seem scared at all. Not that it wasn't to be expected. He was brave, after all.

"Camelot is under curfew. What is your business here?" Arthur asked, not sounding too friendly.

"I have come to deliver a message." Anhora said, and looked at Arthur.

"And who is this message for?" Arthur said, as if he was talking to an old man with a bad memory.

"It is for you, Arthur Pendragon." For some reason, Arthur turned hostile.

"Is it you who are responsible for killing our crops, and turning our water into sand?" The old man did not back down.

"You alone are responsible for the misfortune that has befallen Camelot." the old man said with a cold voice.

"Me?" Arthur said, obviously not believing him. "You think I would do this to my own people?!"

"When you killed the unicorn, you unleashed a curse. For this, Camelot will suffer greatly."

"If you have put a curse on Camelot, you will lift it, or you will pay with your life." Arthur said through clenched teeth.

"The curse was not my doing."

"Undo the curse, of face execution." Arthur said, stepping even closer to the old man. Merlin just stayed in the background. Anhora was a bit scary.

"Only you can do that. You will be tested." Anhora said.

"You are under arrest." Arthur tried to grab him, but he disappeared. A few seconds later, he appeared again, on the top of the stairs.

"Until you have proven yourself, and made amends for killing the unicorn... The curse will not be lifted. If you fail, any of these tests, Camelot will be damned. For all eternity." And with that, he was gone again, leaving them both with chills running down their spines.

Arthur just stood there. Merlin wanted to say something, but he didn't really know what to say.

"I don't believe him." was all Arthur said, before exiting the dungeons, leaving Merlin all alone. Merlin didn't want to stay there all alone, he was already kind of scared because of Anhora's appearance. If he could disappear like that... He was probably way more powerful than Merlin. Merlin quickly headed home, and was careful not to be spotted by the guards.

Things were getting worse. Drinking bathwater was in fact disgusting. Merlin knew he had to make Arthur see sense. But, he almost couldn't do that to him. He knew how hard it would be for Arthur... Seeing his people suffer like this, and knowing it was all his doing. But, if he didn't take responsibility, nothing would get better. He just had to accept it, and deal with it. Merlin was determined to make him change his mind.

He showed up in Arthur's chambers, on time, for once. If he was going to persuade the prince, he would need a good start.

Arthur seemed kind of distant. He wasn't his normal self, Merlin was sure of that. He was complaining like usual, but it didn't have the same tone. Arthur even threw his boot at Merlin. Maybe this wasn't the best of days to make him change his mind... Arthur already seemed kind of pissed off. But, Merlin would give it a try anyway. "Have you given any more thoughts to what Anhora said last night?"

"He might have gotten away last night, but at least we now know who we are looking for. I told my father I would find this Anhora." So, he still believed Anhora was responsible, fair enough...

"What if he was telling the truth about the curse?"

"You think I'm responsible for bringing suffering upon my own people?" Arthur asked, looking a bit... Hurt? No, just sad. Or something...

"No, not deliberately." Merlin said, trying to calm him down. "When you killed the unicorn, I saw Anhora in the forest." Merlin said, maybe that would help.

"Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Well... I... It was only for a second... I thought... I was seeing things." Merlin said, a bit embarrassed. "But he was definitely there."

"It doesn't actually prove anything."

"Doesn't it make you think he might be telling the truth?" But Arthur refused to see sense.

"Because he was skulking around in the forest? That makes me trust him even less." _Seriously, Arthur, you are one stubborn son of a..._

"Why would Anhora appear in Camelot and then lie to you?" that was a pretty good argument.

"We had him cornered, he was trying to talk his way out of it by blaming me." That was pretty bad, even for Arthur.

"Arthur! He can disappear into thin air! He didn't have to talk his way out of anything!"

"My father have warned me about sorcerors like him. They will not rest until our kingdom is destroyed."

"Well I believe he is telling the truth." Merlin said, and he really couldn't come up with any more arguments.

"They you are a fool! You can't believe a single word a sorcerer says. You'll be well to remember that." That hurt. Merlin knew the words wasn't pointed at him, but in a way they were... If Arthur had known... _If only I could tell him... _Merlin didn't say anything else, he just followed Arthur, and his plan to "be ready for Anhora when he makes his next move."

They were in the dungeons where they kept the food supplies. Arthur apparently thought Anhora would steal... Merlin hadn't said anything about how ridiculous the plan was. They had been there for _hours._ Poor Merlin was so thirsty and bored that he had fallen asleep. He woke up when he got a knock to the head by Arthur.

The prince's temper really was bad these days. Merlin could only assume Anhora's words had gotten to him. Not that he would admit it.

"Someone is coming!" Arthur whispered, and made a sign for Merlin to get up.

Despite Arthur's current bad temper, he hadn't killed the thief. For it wasn't Anhora they had caught, but a common thief, stealing grain for his family. Not only had Arthur let him live, he had also given him some grain. When the farmer had left, he had said something that made Merlin think.

"This will bring it's own reward." he had said. What did he mean by that? Merlin could only think of the curse. And the tests.

"That was really kind." Merlin said, honestly, looking at the prince. Arthur smiled, a tiny smile. It looked like he also had things on his mind.

"I'm only human." he said. It was a weird thing for Arthur to say, but it hit Merlin, and he found it beautiful, and true. Arthur was only human. But he wasn't just any human...

The next day, the water returned to the wells. It made everyone happy. Arthur and Merlin had spent minutes, just drinking.

"I never knew water could taste so good." Arthur said, breathless from drinking.

"My throat was so dry, I thought I wouldn't be able to talk."

"Then some good would have come out of it all..." Arthur joked. Merlin smiled. Arthur was getting back to his normal-self. "The sand is gone... The water has returned to the wells. It doesn't make any sense." Arthur said, taking another sip of his mug. "I suppose you have some explanation for this Merlin, let's hear it." It made Merlin happy. Just the fact that Arthur wanted to hear his opinions. It meant so much.

"Anhora said, you would be tested. Last night you let that man go, and he said it would bring it's own reward."

"He was being grateful, just like he should."

"Maybe that was your first test. You past it, so the curse has begun to lift." Merlin silently begged for Arthur to agree. "Perhaps this," he lifted the mug he was holding "is your reward." Arthur looked thoughtful. "I know you don't have to listen to me." Merlin began.

"Glad we agree on something."

"If you're tested again, you have the chance to lift the curse! I know you want that more than anything." Merlin said, now getting eager. Arthur was slowly coming along... He needed something that was more of Arthur's taste... Some kind of action... "Maybe we should seek Anhora out." Merlin said, making it sound as exciting as possible.

"I can't negotiate with sorcerers, my father wouldn't hear of it." Arthur said, honestly.

"Then it's probably best we don't tell him." Merlin said, and smiled. Arthur smiled back.

"I'll go check with the guards. See if you can find me some food.." Arthur said, while exiting the room. _Find some food... _That was easier said than done. Then Merlin spotted the rat. He killed it with a new spell he had learned.

The stew honestly looked awful. It looked like mud with meat. Only, it was rat meat. Disgusting.

"Lost my appetite." Arthur said, and Merlin could understand him.

"You have to eat something." Honestly, Merlin just wanted to see the prince eat rat.

"I can't. Not while my people are starving." Arthur said, looking straight ahead. He was distant again... But not bad-temper-distant, just... Distant. "Do you really believe I'm responsible for this?" Arthur said, and met Merlin's eyes.

"I'm afraid so." Merlin looked at Arthur. He looked so... Sad. Like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"We'll go to the forest first thing in the morning... Maybe we can... Pick up Anhora's trail. Whatever it takes." Arthur said. Merlin smiled. Arthur had finally come around. "Okay, but you have to eat! You won't be able to help anyone if you're too weak to pass the test." Merlin said, and pushed the bowl of stew closer to Arthur. He really, really wanted to see Arthur eat rat.

Too bad he guessed it that soon.

"Look at me! I'm being rude! Here I am, stuffing myself with this delicious stew, when you're hungry too!" Merlin just knew where it was going. _Damn Arthur... _He was soon seated in the prince's hair, and fed the stew. It tasted like... Oh god it was so bad. Merlin just wanted to throw up the entire time.

For a moment, he actually thought Arthur would make him eat the whole dinner... But, Morgana came and saved him.

"I hate to ask but... I was wondering if you have anything to eat." she said, and looked at the food Merlin was eating. Arthur and Merlin looked at each other, both smiling.

"Take a seat." Arthur said, and Merlin almost jumped away from the chair. Morgana thanked them and sat down to eat the rat-stew. Arthur and Merlin almost couldn't look at her while being serious. It all ended with them both bursting into laughter.

They had been out in the forest, looking for Anhora. Of course, they had to get separated! Merlin had heard Arthur running away, shouting "Merlin! He's here!" But he hadn't been able to reach him, and they had gotten away from each other. Merlin didn't know where Arthur was, until he heard him shouting

"My people have done nothing!"

Merlin hurried in the direction of Arthur's voice. He found him laying on the ground.

"Arthur!" Arthur slowly got to his feet, his eyes fixed on the ground. As if he didn't want to look Merlin in the eyes. When he finally looked up, Merlin could see traces of tears in the corners of his eyes.

"I failed, Merlin... I failed." he said, and threw his sword angrily to the ground. Merlin stepped closer.

"What happened?"

"I... Killed a man. He said that my father was ashamed of me... That..." Arthur stopped, and bit his lip, not able to continue. "I couldn't listen to him, Merlin. I couldn't! And now... My people will suffer." Merlin didn't know what to do. He had never seen Arthur like this. He slowly put his arms around him. _Just to hold him close and tight. _Arthur hugged him back. "I failed you." Arthur said, softly. Merlin didn't say anything, because he didn't think any words would help right now. But holding Arthur's strong body close like this, it helped. It helped them both.

Arthur didn't say anything about the hug, and neither did Merlin. They walked in silence back to the castle, where they got the news about the rotten grain. Because that was what had happened. All the remaining supplies had rottened.

They were standing on the wall, looking down at the place where they were giving out supplies. The few that were left. Arthur looked so defeated. Merlin felt so sorry for him. If there was anything he could do for him, he would.

"They don't know that there is yet worse to come." Arthur said in a low voice. It was clearly that his conscience was heavily loaded.

"What do you mean?" Merlin said, looking at him.

"My father is going to stop distributing food to the people. They are to be left to starve. I had the chance to lift the curse... And I failed them." Arthur said, and looked up at Merlin. "I failed you." Merlin would always support Arthur, regardless of anything.

"You weren't to know you were being tested."

"My people are starving. Camelot is on the verge of collapse. And it is all my doing." Arthur said, and turned to leave. Merlin stopped him by grabbing his hand. It was cold. Arthur looked at him, surprised by the touch, which was fair.

"We'll figure a way out of this. You will make this right, I know you will. I believe in you. Always." Merlin said, and smiled.

"Why do you do this, Merlin?" Arthur said, and squeezed his hand softly.

"Do what?" Merlin tried to meet his eyes. When they finally did, Arthur's eyes were sad.

"Believe in me?"

"Because I..." Merlin stopped in the middle of the sentence. _Love you. "_Because you are my friend." he said, while letting go of his hand. Arthur didn't say anything, he just turned around and left. _That was way too close, _Merlin thought.

Even though Anhora frightened Merlin, he had decided he had no other choice. He had gone out in the forest to look for him. If he could only make him give Arthur one more chance. That was all he needed. _One more chance_.

"Anhora! Anhora! Show yourself!" Merlin shouted. His heart was pounding. It was really intimidating standing in front of a person with such strong magic. He suddenly appeared.

"You wanted to talk to me." he said, in that old-man-voice, that yet carried so much power.

"I've come to seek your help." Merlin said, and explained that Arthur only needed one more chance.

"Do you have faith in Arthur?"

"I trust him with my life." Merlin said, honestly.

In the end, Anhora had decided to give Arthur one last chance. If Arthur failed this, there would be no hope. He had to the Labyrinth of Gethrew, where the final test would be.

Merlin had been putting on Arthur's armor, getting him ready for whatever the test was.

"Let me come with you! You don't know what kind of test it is! I might be able to help!" Merlin said, he really wanted to come with Arthur on this. It felt like they should be in it together.

"You're not coming. I was the one to set the curse on Camelot, and I will be the one to free us from it... Or die trying." Just by Arthur mentioning his death, Merlin's heart skipped a beat. He had to protect him. No matter what.

"And how would dying help anyone?"

"I would die knowing I did everything I could." he said, and turned to leave.

"I'm coming with you." Merlin said, determined.

"Merlin! You're to stay here, and help the people as best as you can. Is that understood?" Arthur said, and looked him deep in the eyes. Merlin didn't answer, because he didn't want to lie. He was going to follow the prince anyway.

They had been riding for about a day. Of course, Arthur didn't know that Merlin was following him. He had stayed about a kilometer behind, making sure not to be seen. The labyrinth was a magnificent sight, but for some reason, it scared Merlin. Maybe it was because he could feel the magic coming from it.

He got of his horse, and hurried after Arthur, who had just entered the labyrinth. Following Arthur in it would be a problem. A problem he hadn't really thought about. He would just have to try. He went right, and left, not seeing Arthur, or anybody else. Not even a glint of anything else than the bushes that made the labyrinth. Until he saw Anhora. A few seconds later, he found himself bound on hands and feet, then everything became dark.

_Why am I here? _Merlin thought, and looked around. He couldn't remember getting to the sea. But that was where he was now. He was sitting on a little chair, and in front of him was a small table, and another chair. On the table were two goblets. When he looked down in them, he saw that they were both filled with liquid. Anhora was standing just a few feet away. "Why am I here?" "Wait for Arthur, and I will explain." Anhora said. Merlin just sat there. He had a bad feeling again. Hopefully Arthur would get here soon. He didn't like to be alone with Anhora after what had just happened.

Arthur finally came running out of the gate to the labyrinth.

"Merlin!" he said as soon as he spotted him.

"I'm sorry."

"Let him go. I'll take your test, but not until he is released." Arthur said, and looked at Anhora. _He's trying to protect me. Like he always is._

"That is not possible. Merlin is part of the test. Please, sit." he said with a cold voice, and pointed at the little chair. "If you refuse to take the test, you would have failed, and Camelot will be doomed." Arthur hesitated for a moment, then sat down.

"I thought I told you to stay at home?" he said, looking at Merlin. But he didn't look angry, just... No, Merlin didn't really know how he looked. Merlin didn't answer. "Let's get on with it." Arthur said, and looked at Anhora.

"There are two goblets in front of you. One of the goblets contains a deadly poison. The other, harmless liquid. All the liquid from each goblet must be drank, but each of you may only drink from a single goblet."

"What kind of ridiculous test is that! What does that prove?" Arthur protested.

"What it proves is for you to decide. If you pass the test, the curse will be lifted." Anhora said, and that seemed to be his final words.

Merlin looked at the goblets, trying to find a selution.

"Let's think about this..." he said. Arthur did not look convinced. "What if I drink from my goblet first..."

"If it's poisoned you'll die."

"And if it's not you'll have to drink from yours, and you'll die." Merlin was getting a bit desperate, because he saw... That he might be dying today. "There must be a way around it."

"It is perfectly simple. One of us has to die." Arthur said, and looked at Merlin, stating the horrible truth. "We have to find a way to determine which goblet has the poison, then I'll drink it." Arthur said.

"I will be the one to drink it!" Merlin said back.

"This is my doing, I'll drink it." Arthur was as stubborn as ever.

"It's more important that you live! You're the future king, I'm just a servant."

"This isn't the time to be a hero, Merlin, it really doesn't suite you."

"What if I drink from mine first... Then if it's not poisoned, I will then drink yours."

"He said that each of us is only allowed to drink from a single goblet."

Merlin really didn't know what to do. He couldn't risk Arthur dying... If he only knew witch goblet was poisoned. For a second, he thought about using magic. But he really didn't know any spells that could help.

"I had no idea you were so keen to die for me." Arthur said, with a small smile, obviously trying to calm Merlin down.

"Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself." It was a lie. Merlin had been prepared to die for Arthur for a long time. They looked at each other for a second. Merlin had placed his hand on the table, Arthur reached out and put his hand on top of his.

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin." he said. Merlin blushed, but smiled. Hearing Arthur say that made him happy, even if he was soon to die. Merlin suddenly got an idea.

"I've got it! We pour all the liquid into one goblet. Then we'll make sure it's poisoned. Then all the liquid can be drank, and it will be from a single goblet." Arthur smiled, and looked surprised at Merlin.

"You never cease to surprise me. You're a lot smarter than you look." he said, still smiling.

"Is that actually a compliment?" Merlin said, and smiled back.

"Look out!" Arthur said, and pointed to something, somewhere behind Merlin. Merlin turned around, before he realised his mistake.

Arthur had grabbed both the goblets, pouring the liquid over to one, and putting the empty one down.

"No! I will drink it!" Merlin shouted, and tried to reach out for the goblet, but Arthur was too far away.

"As If I'd let you." he said, now serious.

"You can't die! This isn't your destiny!"

"Seems you're wrong again." Arthur said, and looked down at the poison.

"Arthur! Listen to me!"

"You know me, Merlin! I never listen to you!" their eyes met. And Merlin could read everything in those beautiful, blue eyes. All those secrets. All those _feelings_. Arthur lifted his goblet, as if he was making a toast, then he drank it.

"No!" Merlin yelled, but it was too late. His eyes were fixed on Merlin, as if he was the last thing he wanted to see on this earth. "What have you done?" Arthur only smiled, before he fainted, and fell off his chair.

"Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!" Merlin yelled, laying on top of him. He shook him, trying to wake him up. But the prince just lay there, still. "No!" Merlin didn't want to believe what had just happened. He leaned down, and lifted his body up to hold him. He just wanted him to open his eyes... So that everything could be all right again. He remembered this... From the time when Arthur almost drowned. And he put his lips to his again, and kissed him. His lips were warm... And soft... Merlin promised himself that if he could only come back... He would kiss him when he was _awake. Please, Arthur... Come back..._

He now looked at Anhora. He had totally forgotten he was even there. "Please! Just... Let me take his place."

"This was Arthur's test, not yours." "You've killed him! I was meant to protect him!"

"He's not dead, he's merely consumed a sleeping draft, he will come around shortly." Anhora said. Merlin didn't catch his words.

"W... What?" _Arthur isn't dead? _He looked down at the prince. He sure didn't look dead. He wasn't pale. Just... Peaceful.

"A unicorn, is pure of heart. If you kill one, you must make commence by proving that you are also, pure of heart. Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life to save yours. He has proven... What is truly in his heart." Anhora explained. "The curse will be lifted." he said, and smiled. It was a tiny, tiny smile, but Merlin was sure it was there. Then he was gone, just like that.

Merlin was too happy to do anything. He just sat there, next to the sleeping Arthur. He had already forgotten, or suppressed his promise to himself. Not that he didn't want to kiss the prince. He sure did... It just wasn't something you could do. Even if Arthur did feel the same way. Because Merlin had thought for a moment that he did. When he had looked into his eyes, while he drank the liquid. He... Was almost sure that he had seen the feelings. But, you normally see what you want to see.

Arthur woke up after a while.

"You did it!" Merlin stated, while smiling widely. Arthur got up quickly, and hugged Merlin.

"I thought I'd never see you again." was all he said, while holding the smaller man close. Merlin didn't say anything, because nothing needed to be said.

"I should never have ended your life. I'm sorry." Arthur said as he placed stones over the unicorn-horn. He and Merlin were out in the forest where Arthur had killed it, to burry it. They were standing there in silence, to honor the animal, when Merlin heard a voice. He had been looking at Arthur, but turned his gaze towards the sound, and he saw it. It was the unicorn, living, and just as beautiful as he remembered it.

"Arthur, look..." he whispered. Arthur also looked up, and saw it. They stood there, next to each other, looking at the beautiful creature.

They both smiled, and Merlin felt Arthur's and take his. He didn't say anything, because they both thought that it was all right. Just this once. Because they both knew, deep down. Because they were alone... And because it felt right. Just this once... Just for a couple of minutes. Then they would go back to being servant and master. Just a few more minutes... _Just a little more._

_Oh god, the fluff at the end. What am I doing? . Thank you for reading this WAY too long chapter, seriously... I just can't make them shorter. I had to cut this down... lol. Please leave reviews so that I can know what you think. Kind of hard writing a fiction this long when nobody comments, lol. But... Yeah. Thanks anyway._


	6. Chapter 6 Magic is Never Forgotten

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 6. - Magic is never forgotten_

Arthur was fighting a girl. No, a lady. A young lady. A couple of years older than Morgana, or so. Merlin didn't really know what to make of it. Sure, she was skilled, but could a woman really beat Arthur and his strenght? Arthur himself was not happy about it. Maybe he should have asked for her identity before he accepted the challenge.

"Do you know why she challenged you?" Merlin asked. He was in Arthur's chambers, repairing his armour. He could have done it somewhere else, but the prince wanted his company (not that he had said it outloud... He had just insisted on Merlin doing it in his room). Arthur didn't really have a good answer.

"I'm the kings son. Perhaps she think that she will prove herself."

"You don't want to fight her, do you?"

"I have no choice. If I refuse to fight her, I'm a coward... If I kill her... What am I then?" Arthur was clearly having some issues... He wasn't afraid of being defeated, he was just worried he might hurt her. Merlin, however, hated anyone who opposed a threat to his prince. _Eh, my prince... no, the prince, dumb Merlin._

"You've never faced a woman in combat. What if you hesitate? She could use it to her advantage."

"You think she is going to defeat me?" Arthur said, insulted.

"I'm just saying, you need to be cautious, because it seems she is pretty handy with the sword." Merlin said. God damn it, it was impossible for him to hide his worry for Arthur.

"Since when do you know anything about combat?" Arthur said, still a bit put off by Merlin's insult. But of course, he couldn't stay mad at his servant for long. "I won't lose." he said, smiling. Merlin just hoped he knew what he was doing.

Arthur had asked Merlin to go to Morgause, asking her to withdraw from the challenge. She refused. And Merlin most certainly did not feel better after speaking with her. There was something about her... Something that made him feel... Insecure. Like Arthur might actually lose. But, that couldn't be possible. Merlin had never seen Arthur defeated in a battle. And he had always been fighting men. This was a woman. Even if she was skilled, she couldn't be stronger than Arthur. There was just no way.

It was the day of the challenge, and Arthur didn't look too confident. Merlin was putting on his armour.

"You gave her a chance to withdraw. Whatever happens, you are not to blame." he said, just to make him feel better. He didn't want Arthur to overthink things. Of course, Merlin would be watching, just in case he had to save him. But the plan was to let Arthur win by himself, like he normally did.

"Thank you, Merlin." Arthur said, clearly not focusing on the conversation. His mind was somewhere else. Perhaps he was picturing himself as a man who had killed a woman. Poor Arthur... But, he really didn't have a choice. _Being a knight really sucks, _Merlin thought, and thanked God he was a sorcerer. Less honor-stuff. Yeah... Merlin probably wouldn't have protected his pride for long... He wasn't brave like Arthur.

Arthur entered the field, where Morgause was waiting.

"The fight is by the knights rules, and 'til the death." Uther said, and the fight could begin. Merlin did have faith in Arthur, but that didn't stop him from being worried.

They were fighting evenly, Arthur's strength giving him a bit of an advantage. He soon managed to knock the blade out of her hands. But, as the gentleman he was, he stepped away and let her pick it up. Merlin clapped like all the others, but he honestly wished he had just finished her off. He didn't like seeing Arthur fight... It made him too nervous.

Just a few seconds later, she had knocked Arthur down to the ground, and was pointing her sword at his chest. Lots of ideas went through Merlin's mind. What should he do? Magic? No, the king was right there... But... The fight was 'til the death... She would have to kill Arthur!

The next moment she was helping him to his feet. He had lost, but at least he was alive. Merlin was just glad the whole thing was over. He didn't really care much for Arthur's "honor". But when he saw the killing gaze Uther sent Arthur before leaving his place, he honestly felt sorry for the prince.

Merlin was helping him off with his armour. Arthur had just placed his forehead on the table, not wanting to look anyone in the eyes. Even though it was just Merlin in the room.

"It could have been worse." Merlin said, trying (again) to cheer him up.

"How exactly could it've been been worse?"

"You could be... Dead..."

"At least then I wouldn't have to face anyone." Wow, Arthur sure took his pride seriously. It wasn't that big of a deal! "I've never felt so humiliated in my entire life... I was defeated by... A girl." he said, sounding as if he had lived through all the horrors of the world. Merlin couldn't help himself. The fact that Arthur was putting so much into it was just too funny. So he had to laugh.

"That's actually quite funny when you think about it." he said, before meeting Arthur's death-glare. "Or not." he said, quickly. Probably not a good idea to annoy the prince any more today.

"No, it's like you said! I was hindered, because... I was fighting a woman." Arthur said, trying to justify his loss. "I was worried I was going to hurt her. That's why she beat me." he finished. But Merlin could hear that he didn't believe in his own words.

"You didn't look hindered." Merlin said, causing Arthur to send another killing-stare. "I'll stop talking now." Merlin assured him.

The next day, when Merlin went to Arthur's chambers, he found the door guarded by two men. He walked inside, a bit curious of what was going on. He found Arthur sitting by the window. Looking... Not pleased.

"Why are the guards outside the door?"

"My father has confined me to my chambers, and has forbidden me to accept Morgause's challenge." Arthur said, angrily. Merlin just hoped he wouldn't take _all _his anger out on him. But... Considering he was the only one in the room, and probably the only visitor Arthur would get, his chances were rather slim.

"Maybe he's got a point." _no, Merlin, you should agree with Arthur. You'll just make him more mad! _"You don't know what she might have asked you to do..." Merlin said, and looked away, afraid of how mad Arthur would look.

"I gave her my word." Merlin looked at Arthur. _Oh, God no. He doesn't look angry at all. He looks... _

"We're going anyway, aren't we?" Merlin sighed.

"You're smarter than you look! Gather some supplies, we leave tonight. And Merlin... Find a way to get me out of here." There was no way Merlin could say no when Arthur looked at him with big, pleading eyes like that. Even if he didn't say "please" or anything like that, Merlin knew that he meant it. He sighed again, and nodded.

Merlin was honestly a bit proud of his plan. Operation-"Please my dear Merlin, get me out of here!" He entered Arthur chambers with the escape-rope tied around his stomach. Arthur was sitting impatient on the bed. He looked at Merlin, and tilted his head to the side.

"Merlin... Is it my imagination... Or are you getting fat?" Merlin lifted up his shirt, so that Arthur could see the rope. Arthur smiled, clearly impressed.

The window was open, and Arthur was ready to climb down

. "Are you sure you are strong enough to hold me?" Arthur said, hesitating. Merlin had even put on gloves, so that it would be easier to hold the rope.

"Yeah! I'm stronger than I look." Merlin assured him.

Arthur jumped out of the window. Merlin barely managed to hold on. But, he stopped Arthur from falling at least.

"Merlin! What are you doing? Lower the rope!" he heard Arthur whisper loudly from outside the window. Merlin looked at the rope.

"There is no more rope!" it was so god damn _heavy. _"I don't know of I can hold on for much longer!" Merlin said.

"Merlin. Do. Not. Let. Go. Of. The. Rope." Arthur said, and two seconds later, Merlin let it go. He heard a loud noise, that sounded like armour being crushed against the ground. He wondered how far the fall had been. Hopefully he was ok... And not that mad...

He looked out of the window. And down. Arthur was lying there, face down. He turned over, his face covered in... _oh God, I'm dead._

Despite everything, they were actually on their way. Well, they were following the lead of a _horse_, that Arthur even had described as even dumber than Merlin. And to Arthur, that was like the dumbest horse in the world.

Everything was going "according to plan", even if the party-leader was a horse. They were chatting, or Merlin was doing most of the talking. Arthur only made random threats, to try to shut Merlin up. It obviously didn't work. Not until they were attacked.

Merlin's horse got scared, and threw him off. He landed on the ground. Arthur instantly got off his horse to defend his servant. Merlin had never noticed how quick Arthur actually was when he was in danger. Arthur killed them all. Even if he was outnumbered four to one (Merlin did use his magic to take care of a guy in a tree).

Merlin had been trying the entire time to talk Arthur out of going. Just because he didn't like anything that could mean danger to Arthur. "If you want to go back, I won't stop you." Arthur said. Why was he so determined? "Morgause said she knew my mother." So that was it. His mother. Merlin knew how he felt. He, himself had never known his father. He gave up on trying to change his mind. If Arthur wanted to find out things about his mother, Merlin would not be the one to stop him. He would just have to make sure he stayed safe.

"What was your mother like?" Merlin asked. They were taking a break, and had put up a fire.

"I never knew her. She died before I even opened my eyes. I hardly know anything about her." Merlin could really relate to him.

"Can't you ask your father?"

"He doesn't want to talk about her. It's too painful. Sometimes... It is like she never even existed." Merlin knew that feeling all too well. "I still have a sense of her..." Arthur finished.

"It's the same... With my father... I never knew him. And my mother barely talked about him. But, I have this faded... Memory." Merlin said, and smiled, feeling a bit silly. "It's probably just my imagination."

"I'd do anything for even the vaguest memory." Arthur said. He looked sad. Merlin didn't see him like this very often, only sometimes, when they spoke about things like this. About Arthur's father, and about all the pressure that he gave him.

"That's why you're so determined to find Morgause."

"Is that so wrong?"

"No." Merlin said, meeting his eyes. He loved those moments. When their eyes met, and he could see something. See some kind of feeling, or... A thought. Something was hidden deep inside those blue, shining eyes.

They had followed the horse all the time. Even when it took them behind the waterfall. Now, they had reached something that looked like an abandoned fortress, or castle. Merlin could feel a sense of magic coming from the building.

"Well, if we weren't sure she was a sorcerer, we can be sure now." he said, not thinking.

"That must have been how she defeated me! She used magic!"

"Didn't look like she was." Merlin added.

"And what would you know about magic, Merlin?"

"Nothing..." Merlin said, and smiled. Luckily, he was riding behind Arthur, so he couldn't see.

They got off their horses, and entered the fortress through a gateway. It was overgrown. Nobody had been using the castle for decades. All they found was a chopping block, and an axe. "Now what?" he said, and turned to Merlin. But Merlin was just as clueless as he.

"Maybe we should ask the horse." Merlin joked. It would have been a good one, but Arthur was taking things way more seriously than Merlin. "Well, there is no one here." Merlin said, and was about to leave. He didn't really like this place. But of course, Morgause had to show up.

"You kept your promise." she said, coming down from a stairway.

"What is the nature of the challenge you wish to give me?" Arthur asked.

"Place your head on the block." she said, and picked up the axe. Now Merlin had a _really _bad feeling. Arthur was hesitating. "You gave your word that you would do anything I asked." she said.

"Arthur, don't!" But Arthur got down on his knees, and placed his head on the block. "What are you doing?! I won't let you do this!" Merlin said, now getting desperate. "Stay out of this, Merlin."

She lifted the axe, ready to use it to part Arthur's head from his body. But, she didn't kill him. She just put the axe down, and smiled.

"You have shown that you are truly a man of your word, Arthur Pendragon." Merlin breathed out. So, they were safe, right? "And for that, I will grant you one wish. Tell me what it is your heart most desire." Arthur stopped, then he looked at Merlin. It looked like he was thinking hard, then he cleared his throat. _Does the wish have anything to do with me? _Merlin wondered.

"You said you knew my mother... Tell me all you know about her." Merlin felt slightly disappointed. He had actually been getting his hopes up. _Silly Merlin. You have to stop thinking things like this. You are embarrassing yourself, in front of yourself! Wait... That doesn't really make sense._

"Perhaps you would like to see her." Morgause said, and smiled. Arthur looked over at Merlin, and gave him a strange look. A look Merlin hadn't seen before. It was a look that kind of said "I'm sorry.", but also... "You understand, don't you?" Merlin didn't really know what the look meant..

"I want that more than anything." Arthur said, now facing Morgause again.

Merlin didn't quite know what he thought about the whole deal about Arthur seeing his mother. Morgause was preparing some kind of ceremony. She had been putting up candles everywhere.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Merlin asked.

"If you were granted the same opportunity, would you not want to meet your father?"

"Uther will not forgive you if he finds out you've collaborated with a sorcerer." Merlin said, he knew it was the ultimate argument. He just didn't expect Arthur's answer. "What if my father's attitude to magic is wrong?" Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You really think that?"

"Maybe it's not as simple as he would have us believe. Morgause is a sorcerer. She has caused us no harm. Surely, not everyone who practices magic can be evil." It meant so much to Merlin. So incredibly much. He just wanted to hug Arthur. Just for saying those words. _Maybe I should tell him... _Their talk was interrupted, because Morgause was done with the preparations.

"It is time." she said.

Morgause whispered a spell, and the world slowed down. Merlin had seen it before, but still found it beautiful. A few seconds later, Arthur's mother was standing there.

Merlin could not believe his eyes. Nor his ears. Arthur's mother told them, or Arthur (Merlin was only listening, without being part of the conversation) about how Uther had betrayed her, and how Arthur was born. He was born of magic. Uther had sacrificed her life to get an hair. And that hair was Arthur. The conversation only lasted for about a minute, after that, she disappeared.

"No! Bring her back!"

"I can not." Morgause said, sounding a bit sad. "Once the doorway is closed, it is closed forever."

Merlin looked at Arthur. He looked devastated. Crushed.

"Are you alright?" Arthur didn't answer. "Arthur?

" "Fetch the horses. We're returning to Camelot." was all he said. Merlin honestly was a bit scared. He wondered what would happen when Arthur saw his father again... Now that he knew that he was responsible for the death of his mother. Merlin had a feeling things would get ugly.

Why the hell had he been chit-chatting with Gaius!? Arthur was going to _kill _his father! Merlin ran as quickly as he could towards the council-room, where he imagined they'd be. He had to stop Arthur from doing it. He finally reached the door, but it was guarded by sir Leon.

"The king has ordered that no one is allowed to enter!" he said, pinning Merlin against the wall.

"They're going to kill each other!" Merlin yelled, and fought himself free. Sir Leon looked at him, not sure what to believe. From inside they could hear sounds of swords being crushed together. "Open the door!" Merlin demanded. Sir Leon hesitated for yet another moment, before he opened it, and Merlin hurried inside.

Arthur had the sword to his father's chest. Ready to kill him.

"Arthur don't!" Merlin yelled, and ran towards them.

"Stay out of this, Merlin!"

"Arthur! You don't want to do this." Merlin said, stepping even closer.

"Don't come any closer, Merlin!" Arthur warned. But Merlin didn't listen. He wouldn't let Arthur kill his father. It would destroy Arthur, because he would regret it. Merlin knew that. "I said: Don't come closer, Merlin!" Arthur yelled again, but Merlin stepped even closer. Arthur suddenly turned around, swinging his sword. He only meant to keep Merlin at a distance, but Merlin was closer than he'd thought, and the blade cut through his skin, leaving a long wound across his chest. Arthur just stopped and looked at what he'd done. Then he dropped his sword.

All the anger Merlin had seen in his eyes were gone. And replaced with regret and worry.

"Merlin! I'm so sorry! Are you alright!?" Merlin's fingers went to his chest, feeling the not so deep wound. His fingers were soon covered in blood. Arthur seemed to have forgotten all about his father. "Merlin!" It hurt. It really, really, really hurt like shit. His skin was on _fire _where the blade had cut him. But, despite the pain, he had managed to stop the prince from doing his life biggest mistake. "I'm so sorry! Merlin! We'll get you to Gaius! Yeah! GAIUS!" Arthur yelled, and lifted Merlin up in his strong arms. "You'll be alright, I promise..." Arthur said, panic in his voice. Merlin still hadn't said anything, neither had the king. Arthur left the room in a hurry, carrying Merlin away in his arms.

Arthur sat at Merlin's bedside. Gaius had left the two of them alone, and gone to see to the king, who was left in a rather worried state. Arthur had taken Merlin's hand, and held it in his.

"I'm so sorry Merlin... I'm so sorry." he said, and stroke his thumb over his hand.

"It's all right, don't worry about me. The wound isn't deep, it'll only be a small scar." Merlin said, and smiled. He was feeling fine, after getting some painkillers.

"That's not the point. I hurt you. I was angry... And I let my anger... Harm you." Arthur almost couldn't get the words out of his mouth. Merlin only smiled.

"It's okay, really, Arthur."

"No! It's not okay! Please... I have to make this up to you! What can I do?" Arthur really was desperate. _Now is the time, Merlin._

"You said that you didn't believe that all sorcerers were evil." he began.

"Yeah, so?"

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"Then... You... You don't hate magic?" Arthur shook his head.

"No, in fact, I find it rather interesting. It's... Different. I've always been taught that magic is evil, but I know there are good people with magic out there. And I just... I think they would be able to do good things with their magic. Good and beautiful things." Merlin smiled at those words. And he knew that the time had come. "But it was magic that turned you against your father."

"Yes, but... What my father has done... He didn't know that my mother would die. He didn't know the risks he was taking. I don't think anybody knew. I don't think anybody was a fault when my mother died." Arthur said. Merlin wasn't sure if Arthur believed that himself, but he knew it was what he wanted to believe. And Merlin would let him.

_Alright, Merlin, moment of truth._

"Have you ever seen my eyes turn golden?" he asked Arthur. Arthur looked surprised, then thoughtful, then (to Merlin's surprise), he nodded.

"Yes... I think so."

"Look into my eyes." Merlin said, and smiled. He whispered a spell, and his eyes flashed gold. Arthur's eyes widened. "Now look in my hand." Arthur did so, and saw a flame, burning in Merlin's hand, without touching his skin. But it wasn't just any flame, it had all the colours of the world burning inside of it.

"You are a sorcerer." Arthur said, slowly. Merlin nodded, still holding the flame. "That is the secret... The thing you've always been keeping from me. That's what you really wanted to tell me that day in Ealdor..." Arthur said, still looking at the beautiful flame.

"Yes. I am a sorcerer. But my magic is good... And... I trust you. That's why I'm showing it to you. It is the most important part of me. If you can't accept it... Then I don't mind dying. I can't live in a world where you don't accept me." Arthur looked at him, meeting his eyes.

"Nothing will ever change my _feelings _for you, Merlin. And this..." he touched the flame with his own hand. Merlin knew it wouldn't burn him. It was made of his feelings for Arthur, and they were only good. "This only makes you more interesting. More intriguing. More perfect. More _beautiful." _Arthur said, and took Merlin's hand. Merlin's heart was pounding. He didn't really know what was happening.

They just sat there for a while, holding hands.

"You know I am the prince..." Arthur said, and Merlin understood.

"I know. I won't speak of this ever..." Arthur nodded.

"We'll pretend to forget it. But... I won't forget your secret." Arthur said, and smiled.

"But we have to forget this..." Merlin said, and squeezed Arthur's hand.

"Yes. We have to forget this. But... Only for the time being."

_Oh, God... I had to write another chapter, cuz _I got a review. Lol, everytime I get one I'm like; omgomgomg. Yeah... Well, hope you liked this chapter. The next one will be... I don't know. xD If you have an episode you want me to write from, please let me know! And as always, please leave a review or fave/follow! :D


	7. Chapter 7 Love is Blind

**author's note: **I know this episode is from season 1, which I'm actually "done" with, but I got a request to do this chapter, so just pretend it hasn't happened yet, okay? :

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 7. - Love is blind_

It had taken some time for Arthur to forgive his father, but, after a lot of talk with both him and Merlin, he had... Let it go. He knew that a lot of magic was evil, and some of those his father had killed had deserved to die. But he swore that if his father _ever _touched Merlin, he would kill him.

Things were better than ever between himself and Merlin. Merlin was even more entertaining now that he could use his magic freely around Arthur, who sometimes begged him to show him some tricks. Arthur only had one problem, and that was forgetting.

He couldn't forget that he had confessed to Merlin. That he had called him perfect. He couldn't get the picture of himself holding Merlin's hand off his mind. He knew he was the prince, and that he couldn't let himself have these feelings for his servant. His _manservant_. But feelings aren't really something you can control, and Arthur knew that. He just had to not act on his feelings.

He hated himself because he had to deny both himself and Merlin happiness. Because he was sure that Merlin felt the same. He had seen it in his eyes. He had seen it in his _magic._

Arthur was glad that he knew about Merlin's magic. Now he could help him protect the secret. Not that he helped much... He had made Merlin use magic way too many times. Sometimes, Merlin would refuse, but most of the time, he loved showing magic to Arthur. It was like it was their secret now, not just Merlin's. There is nothing as beautiful as sharing something with the one you love. And sharing a secret, is like being tied together.

Overall, Arthur was happy with the current situation. Sure, he wanted to hug Merlin, and hold his hand... But he had to control himself. It was also dangerous for Merlin. He didn't believe his father would be happy if he found out that his son was in love with his manservant. Also, he didn't want to use Merlin like that. If he was going to act on his feelings, he didn't want to do it in secret. Because he wasn't really ashamed. No, it was everyone else who would be ashamed. He didn't want to give Merlin false hope, because, there was no guarantee that they could be together. Even when he was king. Thoughts like that made Arthur sad. But, Merlin's smile was always there to cheer him up.

"When was the last time these were cleaned?" Merlin said, and held the red jacket at an arm's length distance.

"Last year sometime..." Arthur said, and smiled. "You know you'll be at the banquet too, right?"

"Really?" Merlin's face lit up, and he smiled that cheerful smile that he always smiled. Arthur loved it, because it made him feel so _happy_.

"If I have to sit through Beyard's boring speeches, I don't see why you should get out of it." The truth was that Arthur didn't want to spend hours without having Merlin in the same room. _God, I'm freaking addicted to him, _Arthur thought, and blushed slightly. But... Even if Merlin was there, it would still be boring... Unless... "Do you want to see what you'll be wearing tonight?" he asked, and looked at Merlin with a slight evil smile.

"Won't this do?"

"No. Tonight you will be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot." Arthur said, and went to get it. Merlin looked kind of proud. Arthur held the costume up, and Merlin's smile disappeared.

"You can't be serious." Arthur just smiled and nodded.

Oh, God. Merlin looked good... Even in those stupid clothes! Of course, he looked funny as hell, but Arthur couldn't help but find him handsome. Even with that hat. _I seriously think I have a problem. _He thought, while holding back laughter, and giving Merlin a smile.

Arthur was sitting there, next to his father, and listening to Beyard's speech. And yes, it was just as boring as he had thought. It was about fallen enemies and the newfound friendship and blablabla. But, wait! What the hell was that Beyard-servant doing to Merlin? Arthur almost got up from his chair. She was talking to him, and they soon walked out of the room. _What the hell does she think she is doing to MY Merlin!? _Arthur blushed. It had become an annoying habit of his, blushing every time he thought of Merlin in that way. But, seriously... She couldn't just abduct Merlin like that!

Couldn't they just make the toast? Why did it have to take so long? Arthur had almost taken a sip of it way too many times. He just wanted to drink from the damn goblet so that he could be excused and save Merlin from that evil woman! He was just about to drink, when he heard Merlin's voice.

"Stop! It's poisoned! Don't drink it!" and the goblet was snapped from him, by his servant.

"What?!" Uther said, eyes darkening.

"Merlin? What are you doing?" Arthur really didn't want Merlin to get into trouble.

"Beyard lased Arthur's goblet, with poison!" Merlin said out loud, so that everyone could hear it.

"This is an outrage!" Beyard shouted, and drew his sword. Uther took things way better than Arthur would have thought.

"Order your men to put down your swords, you are outnumbered."

"I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!" Beyard shouted, and looked furiously at Merlin.

"On what brand do you base these accusations?" Uther asked seriously. Arthur couldn't let Merlin stand there alone. He was a target for both Beyard and Uther's bad tempers.

"I'll handle this. Merlin! You idiot. Have you been at the sloe-gin again?" Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulder and tried to drag him out of the circle.

"Unless you want to be strung up, you tell me why you think it's poisoned. Now." Uther was beginning to get angry. This was _not good! _

"He was seen lasing it." Merlin said, and looked Uther right in the eyes. Wow, not even Arthur would have dared to do that.

"By whom?"

"I can't say."

"I will not listen to this anymore!" Beyard said, still really angry. Arthur didn't know what to do.

"Pass me the goblet." Uther ordered. It was handed to him, and he looked at Beyard.

"If you are telling the truth.."

"I am!"

"Then you have nothing to fear, do you?" Uther said, challenging. Beyard put away his sword, and held out his hand to receive the goblet.

"No. If this does prove to be poison I want the pleasure of killing you myself." Uther said, and looked at Merlin.

"He'll drink it."

Wait! WHAT!? "But if it is poison, he'll die!" Arthur protested quickly.

"Then we'll know he was telling the truth." Uther said in a cold voice.

"And what if he lives?"

"Then you have my apologies, and you can do with him as you wish." Arthur wanted to say something. But what? Merlin was given the goblet, and lifted it, slowly. "Uther, please! He's just a boy, he doesn't know what he is saying!" Gaius said. _I have to say something too!_

"Merlin! Apologize, this is a mistake! I'll drink it!" he said in desperation, and tried to take the goblet from Merlin.

"No, no, no... It's.. Alright." Merlin said, and lifted the goblet to his lips.

Arthur held his breath as Merlin drank. _Please say it's not poison. Please. Please. Please. _Even if Beyard would torture him... No, Arthur would never let that happen. Merlin had emptied the goblet, and just stood there, staring into Arthur's eyes.

Seconds, that felt like hours passed.

"It's fine." Merlin said, at last. Arthur breathed out. _Thank God. _He looked fine. For a moment.

Then he suddenly started coughing. Arthur didn't want to believe what he saw. But Merlin wasn't fine. Nothing was fine. It _was _poison. Arthur grabbed Merlin before he fell, and held him so that he wouldn't fall over. He looked desperately at his servant, and shook him slightly.

"Merlin!" _Please. No. This is not happening. Please... _Arthur didn't register anything that happened in the Great Hall. His eyes were only fixed on Merlin. He couldn't move. He couldn't think... The only thing that went through his mind was: _I can't lose him._

Gaius snapped him out of his trance by grabbing his shoulder.

"We have to get him to my chambers. Bring the goblet. We have to identify the poison." Arthur lifted Merlin up, and held him in his strong arms, bridal style. He wasn't heavy. Hell, Arthur could have carried him for miles and miles over.

Arthur sat at his bedside, holding his hand. He had to hold it. To feel him close. Gaius had said that he would die in four or five days, if he didn't get the antidote. The leaf of the Mortius Flower. _I will get it. I will go to the caves. I will save you. _He looked at Merlin, and bit his lip.

"Don't worry. I will get the leaf. I won't let you die. I will protect you. Always." he said, and got up from the bed. He had to go get the leaf. Nothing else in the world mattered.

His father had forbid him to go. Not that he gave a shit. When he had said

"I can't stand by and watch him die", and his father and answered "Then don't look." He had just wanted to kill him. Right there and then. Just strike him down and kill that ugly tyrant that dared call himself a king. But he knew it wouldn't help, so he just walked away, pretending to obey his father.

But now, he was on his way to the caves. Nothing in the world would stop him from going there. Not his father. No, not all the horrors of this world bound together could make him flee from this mission. He was going to save Merlin, or die trying.

Arthur had always been naive. Not that he would admit it, obviously. He trusted the woman he met/saved in the forest. She said that she knew where to find the Mortius Flower, which was kind of weird, actually, because she said "I ran away from my master, but then I got lost." and... Just a few seconds later she said "I know this place, I could help you." Arthur should probably have seen that it was something fishy about her. But... He was Arthur, ready to believe the best in people. And, she was a girl, a wounded girl.

She showed him to the caves, and pointed at the flowers.

"There they are." she said. Still, something in her voice was... Awkward. Like it was all just a play, and she was nothing more than a bad actor. But, Arthur's head was full of "save Merlin"-thoughts.

He stepped towards the flowers. He really wasn't sure if he could reach them from the cliff. It was a bit scary, because on both sides, all he could see was darkness. If he fell, he would most certainly die. The woman suddenly started whispering things. _Spells_, and the cliff he was standing on, disappeared under his feet. In half a second, he had to make up his mind. Jump back to safety, or jump over to the flowers. He knew the most logical thing to do was jump back, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Because it meant giving up on Merlin. And he would never do that. So he went for the flowers.

He was hanging from a little shelf in the cave. The flowers were still out of reach. And it was _so _heavy. His armour and sword weighed enough... But he also had support his entire body weight. Also, the woman, who he now knew was a sorcerer, could just kill him right away. He couldn't really defend himself, because both his arms were used to cling on to the shelf.

But, she chose not to kill him. She said it wasn't his destiny to die at her hand. _So my destiny is to fall to my death instead? Great... _Arthur was brave, but honestly, he had never liked high places. Especially when all he could see underneath him was a pitch black hole. He heard a sound, and a huge spider jumped down on his shelf. It was bigger than any spider he had ever seen. It was probably poisonous. He had to... Grab his sword... But it was so heavy... He didn't even know if he would be able to hang on with just one hand. But at the moment, he didn't really have a choice.

He grabbed his sword, and killed the spider. It was so heavy, he had to throw his sword up on the shelf, and cling on for his bare life.

"Very good." the woman said. "I'll let his friends finish you off, Arthur Pendragon."

"Who are you?!"

"The last face you'll ever see." was all she said, then she left. It was so dark, now that the only lightsource had left. (She had been holding a torch). And he wouldn't even know who killed him... Great. Not that it would matter. If he didn't survive his... Merlin would die.

Just as he thought of Merlin, a bowl of light appeared. First, he thought it was the woman who had changed her mind, and that the light would kill him.

"Come on the, finish me off!" But it... Didn't seem hostile. It was a pleasant, beautiful, blue light. It kind of reminded him of the kind of magic that Merlin would perform. But, it wasn't possible.. Merlin was home in Camelot, dying. But the light gave Arthur new strenght. And he managed to pull himself up, so that he was standing on the shelf, instead of hanging from it. He could see the flowers. He could also see hundreds of spiders coming up from the dark. They were just as big as the one he had killed.

He had to get out of there. The light was slowly working it's way up, as if it wanted to lead the way. Arthur reached for the flower. Of course, it had to be an inch too far away. He pulled off his gloves, to get a better grip, and started climbing up to them. And, thank God, he made it.

After putting the flower in a little bag, he followed the light, climbing as fast as he could.

When he was finally out of the cave, and the night-sky was looking down at him, the light disappeared. He was exhausted. Like, he felt like he could just lay down and die. But he clinched his teeth together, and hurried away to find his horse.

Like things hadn't been bad enough, he was stopped when he returned to Camelot. He was ready to die of exhaustion, thirst, hunger and worry... But, his god damned father... Had to stop him. Who the hell arrests someone who has travelled for days to save his best friend? Or... Love. Or, whatever... Arthur just wanted to kill his father. But, he was placed in the dungeons, his sword taken away from him. So, when Uther came down to visit him, he had nothing to threaten him with.

Even if Arthur hated his father at the moment, he chose to trust him. Just because he thought more of his father than he should.

"Put me in the stocks for a week, a month even, I don't care! Just make sure, it gets to him." Arthur said, and handed the life-saving flower to his father. "I'm begging you..." he added. He had to save Merlin... But his father clinched his fist around it, and let it drop to the ground. "NO!"

"You have to understand that there is right, and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you let out in a week." he said, and left. Arthur swore to God he would kill his father the minute he let him out of here... He desperately got down on the ground, trying to reach the flower. But, of course, his father had dropped it a few centimeters too far away..

He (somehow) managed to reach the flower. Now he just had to figure a way to get it to Merlin. Hopefully, either Gaius, Gwen or Morgana would come up with something. He already knew his father wouldn't allow anyone to see him. Just a few hours later, Gwen came down, and they managed to sneak the flower past the guards. But only just.

Those days spent in the dungeons were a nightmare. He didn't even know if Merlin lived. Was he okay? Did Gaius manage to make the antidote? Was it too late? He almost couldn't sit still. He just paced back and forth in his cellar.

When he finally got out, the first place he went was to Merlin. He entered the pharmacy, where Merlin and Gaius lived, to find Merlin sitting alone in a chair, with a blanket wrapped around himself. Even though Arthur hadn't made any noise at all, Merlin still turned around and got up when he entered. As if he could sense his presence. When their eyes met, all those feelings that Arthur had had for the last days poured out of him, and he couldn't help but hug Merlin, tightly. Just holding him close. Feeling his heart beat (oh, man it was beating fast.) It was so freeing to know that he was living. They didn't say anything, just stood there, hugging. Arthur didn't want to let go of him, so even when Merlin's arms let go of him (and that took a while), he still held him close. He promised himself that he would never, ever, ever, ever let anything like this happen again. When Arthur let him go, Merlin looked at him and smiled.

"Thank you." he said, smiling widely. _God, how adorable can you possibly get? _

"You too." Arthur answered. He was thanking Merlin for a lot of things... For surviving, for saving him... And for letting him love him, without commenting on it.

_I am a fan of fluff, okay? (Not really, only when I write it, normally I read smutt...) But, yeah. Thank you for reading this chapter, and sticking with me. :D I really appreciate all the reviews/follows/faves. The reason I even managed to finish this chapter was because I got a review. I have been "suffering" from the "no motivation"-syndrome... Lol. But I will try to update more often. Thanks again. _


	8. Chapter 8 My Destiny

**author's note: **_This chapter is also from request. Had thought about doing this episode anyway, but I didn't know which season it was from, lol. Please let me know if there are any episodes you would like me to do!_

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 8. - My Destiny_

How much of _bitch _can a princess possibly be? Arthur just stared at Lady Vivian, not believing his eyes, or his ears. She was constantly insulting everything and everyone. And yet she looked so nice. At least for someone who was not Merlin. Not that she could compare to him, obviously not. If she had been as harsh to Merlin as she was to Gwen, Arthur probably wouldn't have been able to behave like a prince... Luckily, he would keep her away from Merlin. The good thing about her being a bitch was that he could talk behind her back with Merlin. They really did love to talk bad about the guests at the court. Most of them deserved it anyway.

"She really said that?" Merlin said, and laughed. He was helping Arthur find some cloths for the feast. Arthur wanted to look good for the kings. He couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit... Nervous. But then again, he had Merlin there to cheer him up.

"Yeah, she was like: Then I fear for Camelot. What kind of a princess says stuff like that?"

"A... Bad princess?" Merlin tried.

"Yeah..." Arthur said, and tried on another shirt.

"So, you're not trying to impress her by dressing up? She is very beautiful..." Merlin said, as if he was testing Arthur. Arthur didn't need to be tested. Not that he had said anything to Merlin about how he felt about him... Not since he confessed his magic. They had hugged sometimes. Although, it was more like Arthur just holding Merlin close to his chest. Not just a short, friendly hug. No, it was definitely something more. He just hoped Merlin was alright with it. He wanted to take things further... But he couldn't. He was the prince, and he couldn't risk Merlin's life like that. He had to protect him.

"Is she?" Arthur said. He honestly didn't find her attractive at all. How could he? When he was in the same room as the most beautiful person in the world? Arthur blushed. _I really sound like a girl when I think these things... Good thing that I don't say them out loud. _Then a thought struck him. Could Merlin read is mind with his magic?

"You don't think so?" Merlin asked, a bit comfuesed.

"No. I'm not the kind of a guy to like more than one person." Merlin just smiled. Like he knew Arthur was talking about him. This only made Arthur worry more.

"Merlin... You... Your magic... Does it allow you to read minds?"

"Yes, of course." Merlin said, and smiled. Arthur's eyes widened. Merlin laughed. "I'm kidding! No, I can't read minds. But I think anyone who knows you can read your mind... You are so obvious. Like now, you were thinking some... Embarrassing thoughts, and you were wondering if I could read them." Merlin said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What 'embarrassing thoughts' did I have then?" Arthur said, challenging. Regretting it the moment after. He didn't really want to hear what Merlin thought...

"You sure you want me to say it out loud?" Merlin said, smiling. Arthur couldn't really back down now.

"Yeah, go ahead. It's not like I'm ashamed of my own thoughts" _Oh really, Arthur? _

"You were thinking that the lady Vivian is nothing compared to..." Merlin blushed. Arthur smiled, because he saw that he could turn this around, so that Merlin was the one being humiliated, not himself.

"Yeah, go ahead?"

"Your destiny." Merlin said, and smiled. Arthur turned a deep shade of red. _My destiny? DESTINY? _Of course, Arthur hoped that he was right. He wanted Merlin to be his destiny. And... Even though it made him blush, he liked hearing Merlin say it.

He looked over at his pale, dark-haired servant. _God he is so perfect. _Arthur wanted to touch him. That want had returned more and more often the last weeks. And it was annoying, because it was really hard to not give in. And Merlin _loved _to tease him. Especially when he helped him get dressed. He would let his slim fingers slowly slide over his chest... And his back... And sometimes even his neck. It made Arthur's body hunger for something more. _I have to pull myself together. _But, regardless of how hard it was to control himself, and the frustration that followed, he still _loved _it.

Merlin stepped closer to Arthur. Like, _too _close. And he put his fingers on his neck, carefully caressing the skin.

"I think you should take the dark, blue shirt... It would go well with your skin." _God damn that beautiful, teasing piece of... Something. _He grabbed Merlin's hand, and held it tightly, slowly lifting it up towards his mouth. God, he wanted to kiss it. Just so that his lips would touch his skin. _No, no! Don't falter, self! _He let go of his hand. "Merlin?"

"Yes Arthur?"

"Get out."

"Yes sire." Merlin said, smiling. He knew Arthur had to control himself. _I just wished he was a little more helpful..._

In the end, he ended up wearing his dark blue shirt. _Stupid self... Having to look good for Merlin... _He honestly felt a bit pathetic for dressing up to please Merlin, not the four kings. But, whatever. Merlin still gave him a "you really do look good in that"-look. Not that Merlin had ever said that he found Arthur attractive... No. But he had said something similar...

It had been on the second day after Merlin told him about his magic. They were sitting in Arthur's chambers, and Merlin had made that beautiful flame again. That flame that was the first magic Arthur ever saw him doing. Arthur had asked

"How can it be so beautiful? How do you make it?" And Merlin had said.

"It is born of my feelings for you... Of how I see you. And it is made for _you only._" Something so beautiful was born of love. Arthur just knew that.

It was weird, and kind of annoying, how Uther didn't seize the fool that was performing magic-tricks in front of the court. It was probably because it was one of the king's servants. Arthur knew he was using magic, because Merlin had whispered it to him. He had leaned close to Arthur, and whispered:

"He's using magic." and Arthur had answered.

"He's not better than you." To that, Merlin had smiled. That perfect smile that he always smiled.

Merlin was happier than he had ever been. He was sure about Arthur's feelings for him. And, he liked to try to make him act on them. Arthur didn't know that they already had kind of sort of kissed two times... Merlin just wanted to know how it felt like when Arthur was _awake_. He tried to make Arthur lose control almost every day. And it often ended with Arthur ordering him out of the room. Merlin found that hilarious. Some people say good things don't last. Well, this day was about to prove that to Merlin.

"Good morning!" he said as he entered Arthur's room with a solid breakfast. He had even brought grapes!

"Never have you been more right, Merlin... It is the sunniest, the most freigwent morning I've ever seen in my life." Arthur said, in a dreamy-voice. He was standing, gazing out of the window. Merlin just knew that something was not right. He was dressed, not in bed, spoke in a weird manner, and agreed with him. None of those were normal for the prince.

"You're dressed!"

"I am the future king of Camelot. I do have some skills you know." Arthur said. His voice was back to it's normal sarcastic tone. Good.

"Indeed you are very skilled. Getting people to do things for you."

"It is your job. But today, my job... Is to rule." The weird voice was back. _To what?_

"To what?"

"To rule. I want to make a proclamation of love." Arthur said, and walked up to Merlin. Merlin's heart skipped a beat. Had Arthur changed his mind? He couldn't help but feel happy.

"Really? I thought you wanted to keep your feelings secret?" he said, not able to hide a smile.

"Why would I want to do that?" he said, stepping even closer to Merlin. Merlin fixed his shirt. Even if he had dressed himself, it didn't look good. He just fixed his collar nervously. "By the end of today, I would have won my lady." _Ey, I'm not a lady... Well, I am whatever Arthur needs me to be, but still... _

"Right... What will you tell your father?"

"What does my father matter?" Now Merlin was starting to get seriously worried. "So, I need your help in expressing my feelings." Arthur said. Merlin's heart still hadn't calmed down. Arthur wanted him to take the first step?

"Yes... Of... Of course..." Merlin said, and looked at Arthur, not knowing what to say or do.

"How to express my feelings!" Arthur said impatiently.

"Oh... Eh... Feelings... Let's see..."

"Feelings." Yeah, something was definitely wrong with Arthur today.

"Girls?" Merlin asked, just to get things straight. He had called him a girl... But Merlin was afraid that he wasn't thinking about Merlin at all.

"Girls." Arthur repeated. So... It wasn't him? Merlin felt his heart drop down to his feet. No, lower than that. It fucking jumped out of his chest, leaving it as a hollow cave.

"And who is this girl?"

"Really, Merlin? We spoke about her yesterday!" _Arthur was in love with GWEN!?_

" What about sending her flowers?" he asked, trying to sound normal, even though he really just wanted to fall to the ground and cry, or die, either one would be fine. "Excellent! I want you to find some." _He is definitely not thinking about me. _"Perhaps I should also send a note! Something moving.. Something from the heart.. Something... You'll think of something!" He tapped Merlin's shoulder before leaving the room. It was like he freaking _danced _out of the room. Merlin was left alone with his hollow cave of a chest.

Merlin had to write the note many times over and over again, because tears kept spilling the ink. He was so sad. Never in his life had he felt like this. He was, what you could call heartbroken. Only he didn't feel like that description was enough. He felt... No, no words in his mind could describe how he felt. He felt angry, but... Not with Arthur, more with himself, for letting himself think that he was worthy of Arthur's love. How could he have been so stupid? All these "feelings" had just been his imagination. Nothing was as he had thought.

He finally managed to write the note. "The boundaries that keep us apart, is nothing compared to true love. Arthur." he had to focus hard not to cry.

He got the flowers, and left it all on Gwen's table. He was a bit angry at her, actually. But... He would just have to let this go. It was something that he should have done long ago... He had just been too optimistic.

"Did you do it?" Arthur asked. He sounded so "into it". Like this was something that really mattered to him. Merlin had never seen him so obsessed with anything before. It hurt. It hurt so much

. "I left them in her room, I thought that was better than a public display..." Merlin said, having difficulties holding back his tears.

"Are you sure she got them?"

"I'm sure she will get them..."

"Great! All we can do now is wait!" Arthur said, and smiled. Merlin wanted to smile too, but his lips were glued together. _I'll never be able to smile again._

"Oh! Heaven has blessed me!" Arthur sighed, as Gwen and lady Vivian came walking towards them. "She is even more beautiful than before, don't you agree?" Merlin was starting to get annoyed. Arthur had to be aware of Merlin's feelings for him. He didn't have to be such a jerk. He didn't have to rub it in that he didn't care about him! He could at least give Merlin some time to come over it all. Not that he ever would.

"I'm surprised you talk so openly." Gwen was a servant too. At least she was a woman, but still a servant. His father wouldn't like it.

"Nonsense! I want to tell the world! I want to shout it across the kingdom!" Merlin had to bite his lip not to cry.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I understand your feelings, but other people, may object."

"Object? So what?" Merlin was really pissed off now. He could feel his magic stirr inside his body. Never in his life had he wanted to use it to harm Arthur. But right now...

"Well, you are the future queen of Camelot, and she's just a serving-girl." Arthur suddenly punched him in the face.

"Lady Vivian is of royal blood! A future queen! I will have your head if I hear such insolence again!" he said in a dangerously low voice, before leaving. Merlin didn't know how to react. Actually, he liked the fact that Arthur liked lady Vivian more than the thought of him and Gwen together. But, poor Gwen! She had already gotten flowers... Merlin didn't want to hurt Gwen! She was a friend! And... And... And lady Vivian was a princess, so Uther wouldn't object... What if they married?! Merlin had to sit down, all this was too much for him to take.

He hurried to Gwen's house to try to prevent the horrible from happening. It was amazing that, despite the state he was in, he was still trying to help others. _And you can't even help yourself._

When he got there, it was already too late. And the worst part, was that Gwen looked happy.

"You know that feeling when you've lost all hope, and then something out of the blue happens?" she said, smiling.

"Yeah... Sort of..." Merlin said, bitterly.

"Well, that's what's happened to me today."

This was a huge problem. A HUGE problem. Now, not only was he feeling heartbroken... He also felt really bad about leading Gwen on, when... Arthur didn't feel anything for her. _Well, then we can be brokenhearted together._

At least, the lady Vivian did not return Arthur's feelings. Now, he looked at miserable as Merlin felt. He was sitting in his bed, under his covers, drinking way more than he strictly speaking should.

"You don't think I should pursue my love." Arthur said darkly. He really looked like the castle roof had just fallen down on him.

"Well, seen as you ask me, I think a number of things stand in the way of a happy union between you and the lady Vivian. Her bloodthirsty father, for one."

"Her complete lack of interest for another..." Arthur mumbled. Merlin couldn't help but smile. He was slowly starting to think that this would pass.

"Might it be.. Worthwhile, returning to your old love?" Merlin said, putting way more hope into it than he should have. He just wanted Arthur to say that it was all a joke. Then everything would be OK again.

"What are you talking about, Merlin? I don't have an old love." Merlin's heart, which wasn't actually inside of him, scattered into a million little pieces. Arthur laid down, and Merlin turned to leave.

"What on earth is this?" Arthur said, and Merlin stopped. The prince was holding up something that looked like a lock of hair. Merlin took it and looked at it closely. It wasn't Arthur's hair, that was for sure. "You really need to start paying attention to the details..." Arthur said, before laying down again. Merlin hurried out of the room. He now had a tiny string of hope.

"Arthur is enchanted." Gaius said. It was all Merlin needed to hear. _How could I not have realised that?! I knew he was using magic! I was just too busy being depressed! _Merlin was a bit angry with himself, for getting so devastated, but it was also a huge relief. All he had to do now, was break the spell, then everything would go back to the way they were.

It was easier said than done. He stayed up all night reading about love-spells. There were tons of them. And over 150 of them, involved a lock of hair.

He had been tidying in Arthur's chambers when the lady Vivian had appeared. Arthur's "feelings" had been kind of believable, but this, this was just too stupid. She jumped into his bed, and it honestly looked like she had some kind of a weird orgasm when she sniffed his pillows. But Merlin needed to get her out of the room! Quickly! Her father would surely kill Arthur. Merlin popped his head out of the room, and, speaking of the devil. There was the king. And Arthur. _Oh God what do I do?_

He somehow, with the help of magic, managed to stun her, and hide her in the closet. Only seconds before Arthur entered, and a few seconds after that, a furious king. They searched the room, and Merlin had to use magic to lock the closet. Thank God for magic. He made sure Arthur didn't see that he was using magic, because he wasn't too sure if he remembered the confession. Taken that he had forgotten all the other stuff... After that, Merlin had to get lady Vivian back to her chambers. _And Arthur actually deserves to be punished... _But, Merlin was feeling better now that he knew it was a spell.

Merlin actually thought he had figured out which spell it was, and how to break it. He immediately closed the book and headed for Arthur's chambers. Only to find them empty. He found a note though. He felt a small pinch when he realised it was Gwen's handwriting. "A second chance. At sunset, I will await your presence." Poor Gwen... But, Merlin really didn't have time to worry about her. Arthur probably thought that the note was from lady Vivian. It was sunset... That meant... _Oh God no!_

He ran to lady Vivian's chambers, and entered without knocking. He was met by a disgusting sight. Vivian and Arthur making out like there was no tomorrow. If Merlin hadn't know Arthur was enchanted, he probably wouldn't have been able to deal with what he saw. But, he quickly used the spell that would break the enchantment. Only too bad it didn't work. And, before he got the chance to do anything else, king Olaf, along with Uther entered the room.

It all ended with king Olaf challenging Arthur to a fight. 'Til the death. And he accepted it.

Merlin was honestly scared now. How could the fools magic be stronger than his own? There was just no way... And Gaius said that the only way was to un-enchant Arthur. But how!? He didn't even know which spell he was under!

Arthur wasn't fighting as good as he normally did. Merlin would have thought that he could beat king Olaf easily. But, after the first round (it was a three-round-challenge) he wasn't too sure anymore. Arthur had broken one of his ribs. He sounded fine though... Full of confidence. Even more than usually. Merlin couldn't think of anything else to do... He had to talk to the Great Dragon.

"You must find the person Arthur truly loves." The dragon said, and looked at Merlin with it's big, yellow eyes.

"Then what?" Merlin hoped he knew who Arthur truly loved. "One kiss from... That person, and Arthur will desire lady Vivian no more."

When Merlin got back, the mace-fight had already started, and Arthur was not doing too good. He received heavy hits to his chest. Merlin was sure he could hear more ribs break. A final blow to the shoulder from king Olaf made Arthur lose his balance, and fall over. What was Merlin going to do? He couldn't just run to the field and kiss him now, could he? If he was wrong, then what would happen? He just had to believe his heart. He had to believe that Arthur loved him... Arthur laid on the ground, not even protecting himself with his shield. Olaf swang his mace to deliver the final blow. Merlin was sure he was going to die, but the bell rang, and the round was over.

Arthur got up and walked to the tent, where Gaius checked his wounds. Merlin followed. He couldn't kiss Arthur with Gaius in the room... No way! He didn't even want him to know about "them".

"Gaius, I know how to fix everything, but you have to leave." Merlin said, and Gaius left immediately.

Merlin stepped close to Arthur, and grabbed his chin. "What are you?" But Arthur didn't get the chance to finish. Merlin dragged him down to his level, and kissed him.

Their lips met. Arthur's lips were just as soft as Merlin remembered them. But this time they weren't cold like the first time... They were warm. Oh, so warm. Merlin suddenly felt Arthur kissing back, putting his arms around him to pull him even closer. It felt so good... So freeing. To know that Arthur was kissing back. Arthur's hand travelled into Merlin's hair, and pulled in it, softly, and only to deepen the kiss. When Merlin backed away, Arthur still held him. Their eyes met, and the "dreamy" look in Arthur's eyes disappeared. He suddenly moaned, as if he now could feel all the pain he was in.

"Merlin.. What... What am I doing?"

"You're fighting king Olaf, 'til the death." Arthur looked at him, not believing what he was hearing. "And you're losing. But, it's all right now..." Merlin said. Arthur just looked at him, before pulling him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, Merlin." he whispered. Merlin just hugged him back. All that was left now, was to believe in Arthur.

They walked back to the field. The last round. A round with swords. Merlin knew Arthur was skilled, but he was hurt.

"Merlin, if anything should happen to me.. I... I want you to know that you're more than just a servant. My father may think that you are dispensable. But... You're not dispensable to me. I... I love you, Merlin." he said it so softly, only Merlin could hear it.

Arthur won the fight, but he didn't kill Olaf. In the end, they shook hands, and piece was yet again assured.

Arthur and Merlin were alone in Arthur's chambers, both sitting on his bed in silence. Merlin knew Arthur was thinking about what to say.

"You know that, my feelings for Vivian were not real..."

"You were enchanted." Merlin said, acknowledging the fact.

"And you broke it."

"Yeah."

"With magic?" Merlin blushed.

"No... The spell could only be broken if you kissed the person that you.. Truly love." Arthur looked at him, and smiled.

"I'll never love another." he said, and grabbed Merlin's hand.

"I... You know we can't be together." Merlin said. If Arthur wasn't going to play the sensible, he had to.

"Why?"

"Because you will be king. And... We're both men... You'll need a queen." Merlin said, and pulled back his hand. He couldn't do this... It just... Wouldn't work. Arthur grabbed it again.

"I will change things, Merlin. I don't care if we're both men! I don't care if I'm a future king! I want to be happy. I want _you _to be happy! And... Will you be happy with me?" Arthur said, and looked into his eyes. Merlin couldn't help but smile. He squeezed Arthur's hand.

"I will be very happy with you." Arthur's smile widened.

"We have to keep it a secret." he said.

"I know..."

"But, that will not keep me from kissing _my destiny."_ he said in a low voice, before leaning closer to Merlin. And for the first time, Arthur was the one kissing Merlin first.

_I loved doing this episode, omg. *-* I know they are kind of out of character, but you know... I like it that way, lol. So, yeah. Thank you for reading this chapter, which was done as a request. If there is an episode you would like me to write from, please let me know! And as always, please fave/follow/review, it will keep the "no-motivation"-syndrome away, seriously._


	9. Chapter 9 It's Better Just To Tell

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 9. - It's better to just tell_

Merlin had done many stupid things in his life. More than he could count on two hands. But this, this was one of the stupidest, worst, most idiotic things he had ever done. Why on earth had he set the dragon free?! WHY!? And what the hell was the dragon thinking anyway?! Every time it came to attack, it put Arthur's life in danger. Hadn't it helped Merlin save him countless of times? Or, had it just helped him, so that he could free it? Was everything it had told him a lie? And... How could Merlin ever look Arthur in the eyes, and tell him that he was the one who sat the dragon free? No... This time he had really messed up.

And, it wasn't Merlin's only problem. Morgana was gone, because he had tried to kill her. Well, he hadn't had much of a choice, but he still felt really bad about it. He hadn't told that to Arthur either. He just couldn't bring himself to, not now that they were finally "together". Because they were, sort of. That was also something that Merlin was thinking a lot of, but that wasn't like a problem, it was more of an addiction.

Everyone were feeling down. Merlin could see that even Uther was starting to see that this could be the end of Camelot. Arthur was trying to be optimistic, or at least he hid his worry really well. Every night they tried to protect the castle from the vicious flames from the dragon, Merlin would apologize, and Arthur would say that it wasn't his fault. It honestly just made Merlin feel worse.

Luckily, Gaius seemed to have an answer. He told everyone about the last Dragonlord. Uther didn't believe him at first, but it was their only hope after all. Good thing Uther was in the mood that he was, because Arthur even managed to persuade him to let him go and try to find the Dragonlord. He had to go alone, because where the Balinor the Dragonlord was last seen, was in Cenrid's kingdom.

But... How was "prepare the_ horses" _something that indicated Arthur going alone? It was like him going alone meant him and Merlin. Merlin liked that, but he was still scared to go into Cenrid's kingdom.

When Gaius told him that Balinor was his father, he was... He didn't really know how to react. But first, he was angry. Angry at his mother, and at Gaius. They should have told him a long time ago. That was his first reaction. Luckily, he apologized to Gaius before they left. He didn't know if he was ever to see Gaius again.

He'd come to think of Gaius as his father. Of course, he was happy that his father was alive, but... He hadn't exactly been in his life, so, what would it be like to face him? Would he even know Merlin was his son? But the thing Merlin feared the most, was being disappointed.

He had always imagined his father to be a brave man, but... What if he wasn't? Still, something inside of Merlin desperately wanted to find out.

Gaius had told Merlin not to tell Arthur who Balinor was. Poor Gaius didn't know that Arthur knew about Merlin's magic. It was their secret, and Merlin intended to keep it that way. But, he wasn't sure if he should tell Arthur that the last Dragonlord was his father. He decided to wait and see what kind of a man he was.

"Merlin, you know, one of the things I actually do like about you is your ability to talk nonsense. Why are you so quiet?"

"I thought the whole point of us going alone was that we weren't going to attract any attention, so I thought it would be best if I stayed quiet." It was a lie. Merlin just had too much on his mind to talk.

"We're not in Cenrid's kingdom yet, you moron. So, talk." Merlin still stayed quiet. "Is there something on your mind?" Arthur said, and turned around on his horse, to look at Merlin with a worried look.

"No... I'm just... Worried about everyone back in Camelot."

"So am I." Arthur said, and turned around again. They rode in silence, and that gave Merlin time to think.

He had to answer this questions: Was he going to tell Arthur _everything?_

They rode non-stop. 'til nightfall. It had started raining, and they both got soaked. When they finally reached a little town, with an inn, they were both grateful. Merlin was so cold, he thought he would freeze to death.

"Stay behind me, Merlin, we don't know what kind of people they are." Arthur told him, before they entered through the little wooden door. When they stepped inside, everyone looked up from whatever they were doing, and it was a complete silence. Neither Merlin, nor Arthur knew what to do, so Arthur broke the silence with the most awkward "Greetings!" ever.

They sat down and drank. Merlin water, Arthur sake. Merlin was still shivering from the rain. They tried to ask the innkeeper about Balinor. But he said he'd never heard of him. Merlin just hoped that he wasn't at the inn. He didn't see a single man he would want for father.

There were two beds in their room. Obviously. Two men visiting an inn did require two beds. They had gone to bed early, because Merlin was so cold. Merlin sat down on one of the beds, and Arthur sat next to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting down?" Arthur said, and made a face as he removed his jacket. He was in a lot of pain, Merlin knew. He had seen the wound on his shoulder. He had gotten it from fighting the dragon. Merlin felt a slight pinch, and felt party guilty.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I... I don't think this bed is meant for two."

"I know. That's why it's gonna be cosy to share." Arthur said, and removed his shirt too. Merlin blushed. "You're soaking wet. Take off your clothes." Arthur said, and started to remove Merlin's shirt. Merlin jumped off the bed, turning an even deeper shade of red. "What's the matter?"

"Eh... I... We..." Merlin didn't really know what the problem was. He sat down on the bed again, and let Arthur take off his shirt.

"You're really pale... Make sure you don't get sick." Arthur said, worryingly, and kissed Merlin's shoulder.

"I should be saying that to you... Your wound doesn't look too good." Merlin was looking away. He couldn't face Arthur. He felt like he was betraying him...

"I'm alright, don't worry. We're going to find this Balinor, and make him help us. Then we will be free from the dragon, and things can go back to the way they were." Arthur said, and put his arm around Merlin. It made Merlin feel even worse.

"What about Morgana?" Arthur sighed.

"We'll find her too." Merlin shook his head.

"I don't think we'll ever find her." Arthur grabbed his chin, forcing him to face him.

"Stop worrying so much! This isn't your fault!" Merlin could feel the tears starting to come. He quickly buried his face in the crook of Arthur's neck. Arthur held him close. "I love you, Merlin. You know that, right?" Merlin nodded slowly. Arthur's hands travelled into his hair, and stroke it gently.

Arthur laid down on the bed, pulling Merlin down with him, and put the covers over them. Then, they just laid there, in silence. Arthur with his healthy arm around Merlin, holding him close. The prince soon fell asleep, but Merlin lay awake with his bad conscience.

The next day, Arthur looked really sick. He was sweating a lot, and Merlin was sure he had spiked a fever over the night. He didn't say anything about it though, because he knew they couldn't turn back.

Arthur's guard was so down, Merlin had to drag him into a bush to keep them from being spotted by Cenrid's patrols. As they laid there, Arthur lost his consciousness. Luckily, they weren't too far from the cave where Balinor was said to live. (They had asked a lot of people, and that was the only clue they had gotten).

Merlin entered the dark cave, hoping that he would fine Balinor. Hopefully, he could heal Arthur, and help Camelot... Also, Merlin wanted to see what kind of man he was. It was his father, after all.

He looked around in the cave, clearly, someone lived there. He saw traces of food, and clothes. He was startled, when he suddenly was ambushed.

"What do you want here, boy?" a dark voice said, while holding a grip around Merlin's neck. He was behind him, so he couldn't see his face. Merlin didn't know who it was. It could be Balinor, but, it could also be someone else.

"My friend is sick. He needs help." Merlin coughed.

The man let go of Merlin, and he turned around to look at the man. He was a lot older than Merlin had thought by his strong grip. But, the years had clearly marked his face, and his hair had stains of gray. Merlin stopped up completely. Not even listening to what the man was saying. _Is this my father? _

"What are you waiting for?! Fetch him!" the man yelled, and Merlin was snapped out of his trance, and ran to get Arthur.

Balinor, if that was who he was, clearly knew what he was doing. He put some salve on Arthur's wound, and whispered some words. Merlin could only think they were a spell.

It was a bit hard to make conversation with him. They were sitting at the fireplace, eating.

"It's good." Merlin said, while eating the not-so-tasty food. Balinor didn't answer. "How long have you lived here?"

"A few winters..." "Must be hard-"

"Why are you here?" Balinor interrupted him.

"Just travelling... We're looking for someone. They said, or... I was told that he lived somewhere hereabouts... A man named, Balinor." Merlin could feel his heart start racing. Now, he was finally going to find out whether or not this man was his father. "Have you never heard of him? He was a dragonlord."

"He passed on."

"You knew-" he cut Merlin off again

"Who are you?!"

"I'm... Merlin." he answered, and looked into the mans face, trying to see if he knew his name. It didn't look like it.

"And him?" the man asked, and pointed over to where Arthur was laying.

"He is my master."

"His name!"

"His name is... Lancelot... He is a knight, you know, a good one." Merlin said, smiling. He didn't really know why he lied about Arthur. He just had a feeling it would be better not to tell who he was. He didn't know if he could trust this man.

"His name is Arthur Pendragon, he is Uther's son."

"Yes..."

"This is Cenrid's kingdom! He is asking for trouble! What do you want from me!?"

"Are you Balinor?" the man nodded slightly. _So, this man is my father. _Merlin didn't really know what to think... Should he be happy, or sad? He had at least helped Arthur, that showed he wasn't a bad man... Right? "The great dragon is attacking Camelot."

"His name is Kilgharrah."

"Well, we can't stop it! Only you, a dragonlord, can."

"He doesn't act blindly, he kills for a reason. Vengeance. This is of Uther's making."

"He's killing innocent people too! Women and children!"

"Uther pursued me! He hunted me like an animal!"

"I know..."

"What do you know about anybody's life, boy!? Uther asked me to use my powers to bring the last dragon to Camelot. He said he wanted to make peace with it. But he did not! He lied to me! He betrayed me! And you want me to protect this man?" Merlin was getting a bit angry now...

"I want you to protect Camelot!"

"He killed everyone of my kind! I alone escaped!" _Better try to play his soft side... If he has one._

"Where did you go?"

"There is a place called Ealdor. I had a life there... A woman. Good woman. Ealdor is beyond Uther's realm, but still, he pursued me... Why would he not let me be? What was it that I had done? Why did he have to destroy the life I build... Make me abandon the woman I loved!? He sent knights to kill me! I was forced to come here... To this!" Merlin somehow knew, deep down that the battle was lost. "So, I understand how Kilgharrah feels. He has lost everyone of his kind... Everyone of his kin. You want to know how that feels? Look around boy... Let Uther die. And Camelot fall." Merlin felt so disappointed.

"You don't want everyone in Camelot to die..."

"Why should I care?"

"What if one of them was your son?" Merlin felt he was almost about to cry now.

"I don't have a son."

"But, if I told you..."

"Merlin.. Merlin..." Arthur sighted in his "sleep". Merlin didn't know if he was awake or not, so he stopped his sentence, and got up to sit next to his prince.

"I'm here, Arthur." Merlin could hear his voice was a bit shaky. He was hearing tears back.

Merlin was sitting on a rock outside the cave, looking over at his father, the greatest disappointment of his life. He was standing a few feets away.

"I feel great! What the hell did you give me?" Arthur said, while coming walking out of the cave. He really did look better. His skin-colour back to normal and everything. Merlin couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit better by seeing Arthur's recovery.

"It was all Balinor." Merlin said, and nodded toward his father.

"So we found him then! Thank heaven for that!" Arthur said, now looking even better.

"Doesn't mean he's willing to help..."

"What?"

"You won't persuade him."

"Does he know what's at stake?" Arthur asked, and Merlin could hear the hope in his voice crash-landing somewhere in his throat. Merlin just nodded.

"What kind of a man is he?" Arthur said, not believing Merlin's answer.

"I don't know... I thought he'd be something more." Merlin couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

So, Balinor's final decision was to stay, and not help. Merlin was not only disappointed. He was now angry. Why was his father so heartless!?

"Gaius spoke of the nobility of dragonlords! But he was wrong..." Merlin cried out, in anger. Balinor turned around.

"Gaius? ….. Good man." Merlin was on the edge of tears.

"Yeah... I was hoping you'd be like him. I wanted... But... There is no point." he said, turned around, and followed Arthur.

Merlin wasn't feeling too good. He was angry at his "father", who, for all he cared was a stranger to him. He had hoped that he would be like Gaius, or maybe like his mother. Hell, even like _himself_. But, his father was a bitter, stubborn, heartless man. It wasn't easy to have all these thoughts locked inside, when Arthur obviously tried to get things back to normal. He joked around, and Merlin tried to keep up, but he knew that Arthur knew that something was wrong. Merlin was sure that Arthur was about to ask him about it, when they heard a noice.

They both got up, with their swords drawn. Merlin didn't really know why he used a sword. It looked stupid, he knew that.

They advanced, carefully, trying to hear where the sounds came from. It was coming closer, and when Merlin turned around... Balinor was standing there.

"Careful, boy." he said, smiling, while looking at Merlin's sword. "I thought you might need some help. This is a dangerous country."

"And will you return to Camelot with us?" Arthur asked. Merlin could feel his heart pounding like mad. Maybe his father wasn't that bad after all...

"You were right, Merlin. There are some in Camelot who risked their lifes for me. I owe a debt that must be repayed." Merlin couldn't believe it, and he couldn't help smiling.

"If you succeed in killing the dragon, you will not go unrewarded." Arthur said, playing the prince that he was.

"I seek no reward." Balinor answered, and looked at Arthur with dark eyes. Arthur didn't understand the look, and just shrugged his shoulder.

"Great! Let's eat."

Merlin felt the weight of his shoulder being sweapt away, like he had been walking around with heavy rainclouds over his head, and now a warm wind had pushed them away. He was so happy, he couldn't stop smiling. And, he had decided to tell Balinor that he was his father.

He and Balinor were looking for wood for the fireplace, and Merlin started a conversation. Hopefully, it would lead to a point where he could tell his father the truth. "This wood is too wet."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find a way to make it light." This made Merlin wonder. Maybe Balinor had magic? Like, Merlin himself had magic, maybe he got it from his father? This made Merlin exhited.

"When you healed Arthur, I heard you mumble some words..."

"An ancient prayer."

"I thought it might have been more than that...

" "The old religion can teach us many thing."

"The old religion? Was that something you were tout?"

"It's not something you can learn. Eather it's a part of you, or it isn't. My father knew that, and his fahter before him."

"Were they also dragonlords?" Merlin was starting to get really worked up! Did this mean that... Could he...? Also be a dragonlord? But, then he thought about when he had faced the dragon... He hadn't been able to control it.

"We'll need some kildly." was all Balinor said.

"You mentioned... You spoke of... Ealdor." Merlin said, hoping that Balinor was more kean to talk about that. "And the woman..."

"That was a long time ago."

"I grew up there." Balinor freezed, and almost lost the wood he was carrying.

"Ealdor?" he looked at Merlin with doubt in his eyes.

"Yes. I know the woman."

"Hunith? She's still alive?"

"Yes..." Merlin took a deep breath. "She is my mother."

"Then she married... That's good." Balinor said, and turned away. He clearly was not happy about it.

"She never married." Balinor turned back to face Merlin. "I'm your son." They stood there for a long time, not saying a word. But Merlin was happy. And he could see it in Balinor's eyes, that he too was happy. At least he believed him.

"I don't know what it is to have a son."

"Or I a father." A sound interrupted them. It was Arthur, walking past them, possibly clearing the area. "You must not tell Arthur." Merlin said. He didn't really know why. But... He wanted to spend some time with his father first. To get to know him, before he said anything to Arthur.

Arthur was sleeping, and Merlin was sitting at the fireplace, together with his father. They were talking, just talking, about everything that had happened, and what was to come. Merlin had finally built up the courage to ask that question that had been burning inside of him.

"How did you become a dragonlord?"

"It's not something you can learn. It's a sacred gift. For thousands of years it's been handed down, from father, to son. And that is what you must now become, Merlin." Merlin nodded.

"I would like that."

"And, like all dragonlords, you won't know for sure if you have that power, until you face your first dragon." Merlin nodded again, but now he was really unsure of himself. He had already faced his dragon. And... Nothing had happened. Now he just sat there, and watched as his father carved something out of a piece of wood. It was nice sitting in silence too. Merlin was just glad to have his father with him, but... He felt a bit ashamed, because he was the one to stop the ancient tradition of the dragonlords. He couldn't be one... And that made him sad. He hoped he never had to tell his father about it.

After sitting in silence for awhile, Balinor got up.

"Goodnight, son." Merlin smiled, before answering.

"Sleep well, father." it was a weird sentence, but it was nice. Merlin was happy to have his father with him. Hopefully, they would stay together for a long time now.

When Merlin woke up, the first thing that met his eyes, was a beautiful dragon, carved out of wood. Merlin knew that it was his father who had made it. He only got the chance to admire it for a second, because a hand suddenly pressed itself over his mouth. Merlin was startled, but relaxed when he saw that it was Arthur.

"Cenrid's men." Arthur said, and they both got up. Arthur had drawn his sword, and was now standing in front of Merlin, ready to protect him from everything. A man suddenly attacked, and Arthur pushed Merlin behind him, to keep him safe. The soldier was soon followed by three more. Merlin hurried to a sword he saw laying on the ground, and threw it to his father, before picking up one for himself.

Only seconds later, the soldier Merlin was batteling, knocked the sword out of Merlin's hand. He could see Arthur from the corner of his eye. "Merlin! Use your magic!" he shouted, but it was too late. Balinor threw himself in front of Merlin, in a try to protect him, but the enemy's sword pierced his body.

For seconds Merlin just stared at what had happened. Then he killed the man with a spell that he didn't even knew he possessed. He had to lay his father down. He knew deep down that he was dying... But, it was just too cruel.

"Merlin..."

"Please no. I can save you

" "Merlin, listen to me. When you face the dragon, remember, be strong. A dragon's heart is on his left side, not it's right."

"I can't..." Merlin almost couldn't speak because of all the tears welling up in his eyes, and something had been caught in his throat.

"Listen to me! You are my son. I've seen enough in you to know that you will make me proud." a few seconds later, his eyes closed. And Merlin's father was dead.

Why hadn't he just used his magic!? WHY!? He could have just killed them all with magic! Why had he let Arthur protect him?! What the hell was wrong with him!? Merlin couldn't stop his tears. When Arthur came running back, and saw that the dragonlord was dead, he threw his sword to the ground in anger, and shouted

"NO!" Merlin got up, still crying. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the dead body of his father. "Merlin?" Arthur said, but Merlin kept his face hidden, and didn't say a word.

They rode back to Camelot in silence. Merlin was silent because he hated himself, and Arthur because he had failed his kingdom.

It all ended with a new plan. Arthur and all the knights were going to ride out and fight the dragon. Merlin couldn't believe that Uther had given this plan a go. But... It couldn't really be helped now, could it. Merlin felt like nothing mattered anymore. Like everyone could just die.

Arthur was desperately trying to get Merlin back to normal. "Look on the bright side, chances of you cleaning this again are small." he said, while Merlin was putting on his armour.

"You must be careful today. Do not force the battle..."

"Yes, sire!" Arthur said with irony in his voice.

"I'm serious."

"I can heard that."

"Let matters take their course..."

"Merlin, if I die... Please..."

"What?" Arthur turned around so that he was facing Merlin.

"The dragonlord today... I saw you..." Merlin just looked at him, not saying anything. Arthur put his hand on his shoulder. "One thing I tell all my young knights, no man is worth your tears." Merlin couldn't keep his poker face anymore, and started crying again. Arthur looked at him, confused.

"He... Was... My father..." Merlin managed to get out. Arthur didn't know what to do, or say. Merlin couldn't stop the tears. They just kept coming and coming. He had lost his father, and because he wasn't strong enough to be a dragonlord, he was going to lose Arthur as well! Merlin suddenly felt arms wrap around him.

"I'm so sorry, Merlin." Arthur said, softly.

"It's not your fault. It's mine..."

"No... I should have asked."

"I wouldn't have told you..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because... Because then I would have to tell you everything..."

"What everything?" Merlin took a deep breath, and looked up at Arthur.

"I may be a dragonlord, because my father was one, but I don't think I am... I... Morgana was the sorce of the illness that happened, and I killed her, because that was the only way... And... I... I was the one to set the dragon free..." Merlin had said everything as fast as he could, so that he wouldn't regret saying it, and stop mid-way through. Arthur was quiet. "But... I'll... I'll come with you!" Merlin said, trying to make up for everything. Arthur remained silent. "I love-"

"Merlin..."

"Yes?" Arthur hugged him tightly.

"I don't care what you have done. I trust you, and the things you do, you do for a reason. I don't care if you sat the dragon free, or poisoned Morgana, you did it to prevent something even worse from happening... You did it because..."

"Because I love you." Merlin finished for him. Arthur kept hugging him.

"If you are a dragonlord, Merlin... Then I'm not afraid to go out there. And if you are not, I will protect you." Merlin shook his head.

"No. I don't want you to die for me!"

"But if I am to die, I would like to die _for you._" Arthur said, and kissed Merlin. He hadn't done that in a while. And if felt _so good. _As Merlin felt Arthur's warm lips against his own, he began to feel powerful again. Like maybe he was a dragonlord. At least Arthur believed it. Maybe he was...

They had waited for hours, on a little field. Darkness had come, and they were all nervous. Merlin, perhaps more than the others, because he knew that in the end, it was all up to him. Suddenly, the dragon appeared on the night sky. Arthur put on his helmet, so did the others. Merlin didn't have an amour.

The knights effort was useless. Merlin saw them being swept off their horses by the dragon's tail.

"STOP!" he shouted, but nothing happened. Soon, only Arthur remained. He picked up a spear, and stood in front of Merlin, determined to protect him, to the end. All of a sudden, Merlin knew what to do. And he pushed Arthur behind him.

"Merlin! What are you doing?! Get behind me!" But Merlin opened his mouth, and spoke to the dragon in a voice that lived deep inside his soul. He wanted to kill it, for all it had done. But... He couldn't. It was the last of it's kind, so he showed it mercy instead.

"Leave! If you ever attack Camelot again! I will kill you!" he said. The dragon bowed to him. "I have shown you mercy. Now you must do the same to others."

"What you have shown, young warlock, is what you will be. I'm sure our paths will cross again." it said, and took off back to wherever it came from. Merlin stood there, his legs were a bit shaky. He didn't realize what had just happened, before Arthur hugged him from behind.

"You did it, Merlin! You are the last dragonlord!"

_I am so sorry about not posting earlier. But... I... I don't know. I just screwed this chapter up, but I didn't want to write a new one... So, yeah. I didn't really like how this turned out. I think it was a bit boring, sorry. Hopefully my next one will be better... And, yeah. I am kind of tired of this whole idea, so I want to write a brand new one, fml. I always screw things up! D: But yeah... Please review/fave/follow, and I will try to update more often. Thank you. _


	10. Chapter 10 Trust Part I

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 10. - Trust Part I_

Both Arthur and Merlin were tired of looking for Morgana by now. They had been searching for about a year. They both knew that she was probably dead, considering the fact that Merlin had poisoned her. But, of course they couldn't tell Uther that, and he would not see sense. The worst part, at least for Arthur was all the men that died in the quest. Merlin himself was more afraid of finding Morgana. If she told Uther... He would probably be killed. But, the chances of her even being alive were slim. Merlin felt even worse for hoping that she was dead... He hadn't told Arthur about it, but he probably already knew how Merlin felt about it. Morgana was like a sister to Arthur, and of course he didn't want her to be dead. But, Merlin had told him about the traitor she had become, and he believed his servant, of course.

One day, out in a dark forest Merlin's fears became reality. Merlin, Arthur and the group of knights and soldiers they had were attacked. Arthur fought hard, protecting Merlin, who couldn't use his magic as freely, considering the fact that he could be seen by the knights. They won the battle, unlike so many of the troops they had found laying dead and cold in the foggy environment.

Everything was quiet for a moment, then they all heard someone come closer. Arthur took up his sword again, and walked towards the sound. But it was no enemy. It was none other than Morgana.

The night they returned to Camelot with Morgana, Merlin and Arthur was sitting in Arthur's chambers, and Merlin was clearly bothered.

"What's the matter, Merlin?"

"I... I'm afraid of what she might say." he said, eyes facing down.

"I won't let anything happen to you." Arthur said, and stroked his fingers through Merlin's dark hair.

"But if Uther finds out what I have done..."

"Don't worry. Maybe she doesn't remember what happened, or maybe she will understand why you did it." Merlin just shook his head. "It's gonna be alright." Arthur said, trying to comfort Merlin to the best of his abilities. Which wasn't much, really. Merlin just sat there, next to Arthur, trying to relax. The prince put his arms around his servant, holding him. That helped more than any words he could ever say. Merlin did feel safe in his arms, even if he was to face Uther's fury and bloodthirst.

"I feel sorry for my father." Arthur said, after several minutes of silence. Merlin looked up at him, furrowing his brows. "He is so happy to see Morgana... And she want's him dead... He cares so much for her... Sometimes I think he cares more for her than he does for me..."

"That's not true. You're his son, of course you're the most important thing to him. Don't forget what he did to get a son..." Arthur nodded.

"I know... I wish he hadn't sacrificed my mother. I hate living with the thought that she died because of me."

"She didn't. She wanted it too, she said that, don't you remember? She is proud of you, and so is your father." Merlin said, glad that Arthur's problems were in focus, instead of his own.

"It's just that... All those men died, trying to find Morgana. How did he know I wouldn't join them?" Merlin didn't know what to say to that. "I think he would sacrifice my life to save Morgana." Arthur said, slowly, and bit his lip in bitterness.

"I think he just believes in you." Merlin didn't actually think that was true, but Arthur needed to hear it.

"You always cheer me up, don't you?" Arthur said, and kissed Merlin. Merlin was startled, because the prince didn't do that too often. And most certainly not when the door was unlocked. But it felt good, _so good. _He kissed him back, soon to have Arthur's tongue enter his mouth. The battle didn't last long, because Merlin always gave in. Arthur's hands moved to his neck, to take off his neckerchief. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

"Damn..." Arthur mumbled, before moving away from Merlin, who got up, blushing a deep shade of red. Arthur laughed. He always found Merlin adorable when he blushed like that. "Enter." Arthur said, and his father entered. Merlin quickly left the two of them alone.

The next morning, Gaius woke him up to tell him that Arthur requested his presence... In Morgana's chambers. He felt slightly less scared when he knew Arthur was going to be there. At least he would speak up for him, if he was accused.

He entered the room, and saw Morgana crying, and Arthur hugging her. When they noticed him, Arthur got up, and told Morgana that everything was going to be alright. He left the room, and Merlin was about to follow him, but Morgana stopped him.

"Merlin, I want to speak to you." Merlin didn't really know what to say, so he just stood there, and looked at her.

"I know what you did. You tried to poison me."

"I.. I didn't want to." _I am so dead._

"It's alright, Merlin. I understand. You were just trying to protect your friends, I would have done the same." Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Really?"

"I was so naive, Merlin. I don't think I really understood what I was doing. But believe me, I have seen the evils in this world. I have seen first hand what it is that Uther fights against. You don't know how much I regret everything that I have done." This was almost too good to be true. "I just... I hope that you can forgive me." she said, tears in her eyes. Merlin just chose to believe her. "I am so sorry for everything you've been through. It's good to have you back!" They both smiled, and Merlin really believed that everything was going to be alright now.

"So, what did she say?" Arthur asked, the second Merlin entered his chambers.

"That she is sorry for everything that she has done... And that she understand why I poisoned her..." Merlin said, slowly. He still couldn't quite believe how lucky he was.

"Great! I knew everything would work out! This cause for celebration!" Arthur said, clapping his hands together.

"Celebration?" Merlin said, lifting his eyebrow. Arthur just smirked, and pushed him up against the wall.  
"Yeah, you know... Celebration." he said, and kissed Merlin.

"Arthur... The door is open."

"Makes it more exciting, doesn't it?"

"For you, maybe. But it won't be that fun for me when we are discovered and the king accuses me for having enchanted you. Just think about it, he would never believe that his son could love a... Guy." Merlin said, and blushed. Arthur just shrugged his shoulders, then closed the door. Only seconds later, someone knocked.

"I swear to God, I'll kill the next person that interrupts us..." Merlin was only thankful. He wasn't quite sure if he was ready to make out with Arthur yet... Sure, they had kissed and stuff, but Merlin still found it a bit embarrassing. Mainly, because he didn't know at all what to do. Arthur backed away from his servant, and said: "Enter." in an annoyed tone.

It was sir Leon that wondered why Arthur was late for their workout. Arthur facepalmed and said that he had forgotten, because he was out of routine. That was true, because they had been searching for Morgana for so long, and barely been home in Camelot. The prince exited his chambers, but stopped in the door.

"Come on, you don't have anything else to do, come see us work out." Merlin rarely did that, but of course, why not?

Arthur was perhaps the most skilled sword-fighter in the world. He battled four men, with his eyes closed.

"So, what do you think?" Arthur said, walking back to Merlin to change weapons.

"You are very skilled indeed. But, with my magic, I could beat you without getting up."

"Oh, really? Show me then, Oh Great Warlock." Arthur said, challenging, and rolled his eyes. Merlin just shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine." Arthur got back to the fight, and Merlin made him lose his sword, with a spell. That caused Arthur to receive a hit to the stomach with a mace. That knocked him over, and he landed in the mud. "Told you!"

"Shut up, Merlin..." The knights just looked at each other, not understanding anything.

Arthur was pacing back and forth in his room. Merlin was just sitting there, watching him.

"What could have made him like this?" Arthur was referring to the current state of the king. After the feast, he had been discovered next to the well, crying and mumbling. Mumbling Arthur's mother's name.

"I don't know..." Merlin honestly thought it had something to do with Morgana, but didn't want to believe it. All he could do now was calm Arthur down. He was afraid that his father could have gone mad. And not just mad, but literally lost his mind.

Things didn't get better. The scene in the Great Hall, where Uther claimed to see a little boy standing in the middle of the court... Gaius believed it was Uther's conscience playing tricks with him. But with the half-dead guard found and the rumours of Cendrid and his army, Merlin believed it all to be something more.

"Don't you think it's strange that... Morgana return to Camelot, and then all this happens?" Arthur said, and looked at Merlin for answer.

"Yes... I've been thinking that too."

"I don't want to believe that she is responsible... But if she is... We need to be sure."

"Leave it to me." Merlin said, and left the room.

He needed some clues. The most natural place to start, he thought, would be Uther's chambers. Since he wasn't recovering, maybe something there could give him a lead. He was searcing the chamber, when he suddenly heard footsteps. He quickly dived under the bed to hide. The person entering was Morgana. Under Uther's bed, right next to Merlin's face was... Something weird. It was dripping with some sort of mud. It looked like a root of some kind. Morgana reach her hand out, and took the root. Luckily she did not look under the bed.

Yet again, Arthur found himself pacing back and forth in his room. He was really nervous now. The rumors of Cenrid's army appeared to be true. And Camelot was weaker than it had been for years... And it didn't really help that Gaius had given up on Uther, and told Arthur that he had to be the one to lead now. He didn't want to give up on his father! And where the hell was Merlin!? He had said he was going to check if Morgana was the traitor, but he had been gone for hours now. Where the hell was he!?

_sorry about this short chapter, but this episode is a two-part one. kind of. z.z Had to do it because I had to get Morgana back and stuff, yeah, you know. Please fave/follow/review so that I can get some motivation, yey. :D_


	11. Chapter 11 Trust Part II

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 11. - Trust Part II_

Arthur had been pacing back and forth in his room for hours now. Merlin had been gone for a day now. And nobody had seen him. He hadn't even come home at night. Arthur could only believe that something had happened to his beloved servant. All he wanted was for him to come home. It was late... But he couldn't sleep. How could he when he didn't know where Merlin was? Not that he hadn't been searching for him... Because he had. _Just come home, please..._

When he finally decided to go to bed, he still couldn't sleep. Hours past before he managed to keep his eyes closed, long enough to fall asleep.

The next day, he was woken by the voice he had been longing to hear.

"What happened here?" Merlin said, not believing the mess in his masters chambers. Arthur was just so happy to have him back. Arthur sat up in his bed, quickly, looking over at Merlin, just to make sure that he really was there.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

"I... Eh... Well..." And Merlin told Arthur about all that had happened. That he had followed Morgana, but had been caught by her and Morgause, and how he had been poisoned by a scorpion-like creature, and how he had summoned the dragon to save him. When he was done, Arthur just looked at him with wide eyes.

"You flew on the back of the dragon?"

"Yeah." Merlin said, looking pretty happy about himself.

"Just... Just don't ever, and I mean _ever_ do anything like that again, do you understand?"

"Were you worried?"

"Of course I was!" Arthur said, and got up from his bed. He wanted to slap Merlin, just for standing there and smiling when there was nothing funny about the situation at all. But, when he had walked over to him, and looked into those innocent-looking eyes, he couldn't help but hug him. "Don't ever disappear like that again, alright?" Merlin nodded.

"I won't." They just stood there for a while, hugging. Arthur loved the feeling of Merlin's skinny body pressed against his own. And he always smelled nice. "Your father is going to get better again. He was under a spell and I broke the enchantment." Merlin said, and Arthur's smile widened.

"I knew you would find a way to fix everything..."

For a while, they actually thought that things were going to go back to normal. But, they didn't. The patrols had spotted Cenrid's Army. And they were 20.000 men. The king was still too ill to take any decisions, so it all came down to Arthur. And his order was to prepare the city for cege, and protect Camelot by all means. Even though they were outnumbered two to one.

"You made a tough decision..." Merlin said, and looked at Arthur as they walked through the corridor.

"Do you think it was the right one?"

"Of course. You are the leader, and whatever you think is right, has to be right." Merlin said, and Arthur was glad to know that he believed in him. Because he sure as hell did not.

Merlin worked like a hero that day, gathering food and supplies. They were preparing to be trapped inside the city for weeks, maybe months. It all depended on how stubborn the enemy was. Because Arthur was sure that they could hold the city. No army had ever taken Camelot, and it was not going to start under his command.

Arthur couldn't help but worry of what was to come. He knew that it was all up to him, in the end. But, they did have Merlin and his magic. Not that he could use it that freely when others were around... Merlin seemed to believe in him at least, like he always did. It made Arthur feel better. Merlin had been right about that time in Ealdor, but that was only because Merlin had used his magic to save everyone... _Oh, come on, Arthur, give yourself some credit for what happened._

When Arthur saw the army standing outside of Camelot, his nerves began to fail him. He remembered that he had once told Merlin that he didn't get nervous. That was a lie. Right now, his mouth was so dry, and it didn't matter how much water he drank.

"You do get nervous after all, don't you?" Merlin asked, while he put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. It was time for him to put on his armour.

"Yeah... You remember that time too?" Arthur answered, and put his hand on top of Merlin's.

"Of course I do. But, you were nervous in Ealdor too, and that went alright, didn't it? This isn't your first time leading a battle into victory." Arthur smiled to that, a part of it was true.

"We wouldn't have won if you hadn't used your magic..."

"True, but who says I won't this time too?"

"But, you could be seen..."

"I won't. Nobody ever sees me." Merlin smiled, apparently full of confidence. Arthur only hoped that he knew what he was doing.

Merlin slowly put on Arthur's armour. He did it slowly because, even though he believed in Arthur, and in his own abilities, he too was nervous, and he wanted to spend this time with the prince. It could, after all, be their last. Before he was halfway done, Arthur grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Promise me, you'll be alright." he said, holding his servant close. Merlin smiled and nodded.

"I promise."

"If we win this battle, Merlin, I'm done with holding back..." Arthur said, and smirked. Merlin looked at him with lifted eyebrows, not sure what the prince meant. "I'm done holding myself back when it comes to you." Arthur explained, and kissed his servant. It was a really heated kiss, and Merlin couldn't help but moan as Arthur's tongue entered his mouth, exploring it. When Arthur pulled away, they were both out of breath. "When we win this battle, we will celebrate." he said, still smirking slightly. Merlin blushed an adorable shade of pink, and Arthur stroke his hair.

"Good luck." Merlin said, softly.

"You too." and Arthur left the room, heading for his army.

Arthur Pendragon was not a coward. And he would not be seen as the prince who let his men go first, and just stood by and watched them fight. No, when the hostile army stormed through the lower town, he was the first man standing in the defence, together with his trusted knights. He had no time to hesitate, no time to be scared, and no time to see how many they were. All he could to was fight those who were in front of him. If he had seen how many kept coming, he probably would have lost hope, but he didn't. Because he was the prince of Camelot, and he was going to stand by his men's side. To the end.

Suddenly, Arthur saw his father beside him, swinging his sword like a madman.

"Father!" he yelled, and grabbed him, pulling him backwards, away from the battle.

"What are you doing!?"

"You are not well!"

"This is my kingdom!" he shouted, trying to fight his way free, but he soon called out in pain, as an arrow pierced his knee. Arthur saw that, without himself fighting, his men faltered.

"Pull back! Retreat!" he ordered, while pulling his father with him.

In the flash, he saw Merlin, and suddenly a huge fire lit up, burning the hostile soldiers to death. Merlin then turned around and helped him with his father. When they had carried him to the well, Arthur had stayed away from his army for too long. "I'll leave him to you." he said to Merlin, and ran back to the battle.

They had lost the lower town... And Arthur saw so many wounded soldiers and knights. It was like a nightmare. They kept losing more and more, and just had to keep pulling back. Arthur was wondering where Merlin was... He had thought he would return to him, and hopefully use his magic to at least hold them back a bit. But, he was nowhere to be seen. Again, he started worrying. He just hated not having his servant by his side. Maybe he had been hit by the catapults? Or an arrow? Arthur heard someone coming behind him, and turned around on pure instinct, and he saw his servant.

"Where have you been?"

"Looking for Morgana!" Arthur didn't really understand what he meant... "Look out!" Merlin yelled, and pointed to something behind Arthur. When Arthur turned around, he suddenly understood what Merlin meant. Seven living skeletons were walking their way, armed and ready to fight.

"Get behind me!" Arthur said, and pushed Merlin back, protecting him from these new enemies.

They were as strong as knights, but Arthur was a skilled warrior, and he soon landed what should have been a mortal blow to the skeleton he was fighting. But it seemed unharmed. They were too many for Arthur to handle alone, and Merlin was fighting one too now. Luckily, a knight came to his rescue. They had no choice, they had to retreat to the castle. And their undead enemies followed them.

"You need to warn Gaius! Tell him to seal off the hospital!" Arthur said to Merlin, and grabbed tighter around his sword. He would have to hold them back. Merlin just stood there. "Merlin! That's an order!" Arthur yelled, and Merlin obliged.

Arthur soon had to pull back, and got into the hospital. He saw his father, sitting on a chair, looking like he no longer cared about anything. "We can't fight a battle on two sides," Arthur told Gaius, and his mind went to his poor knights, now fighting Cenrid's men on one side, and the undead on the other. "We have to get my father to safety." "How? We no longer control the lower town. There is no escape, Arthur." Gaius said. Arthur knew he was right. The only one who could help them was Merlin. He had to use his magic to protect the kingdom... But, where the hell was he?! Arthur looked around, but couldn't see him anywhere.

The only thing left for Arthur to do now, was defend the hospital, where his father was. Even though he was only fighting one skeleton, he still felt tired. Because every time he landed a mortal blow, the skeleton was fine. Until it suddenly fell apart, and landed on the ground as nothing more than a pile of bones.

When his men saw the skeletons fall, they got their fighting-spirit back. And Arthur could see them taking back the city, one swing of the sword at a time. And he felt proud. He had lead the battle, and they were victorious. But, where was Merlin?

His question was soon answered, as his servant ran up to him, and stood by his side, watching what the prince was watching. The retreating army of Cenrid.

"It was Morgana's doing, wasn't it? The skeletons?" Arthur asked, not taking his eyes of the beautiful sight of victory.

"Yes. But... I stopped her." Merlin said, slowly. He too was admiring the view.

"We won this battle together, didn't we?" Arthur said, hoping that it wasn't all Merlin's doing _again._

"Of course we did. You're a real hero now." Merlin said, smiling. They both took one step towards each other. At least they could stand a bit closer. Arthur wanted to put his arm around Merlin, but there were too many around them to see. "You must not tell Uther about Morgana."

"Why not?" Arthur said. This was Merlin's time to shine? Why not tell his father?

"He won't believe you... And Morgana will probably tell Uther that I tried to poison her..." Merlin said, hesitating. As unfair as Arthur thought it was, he still nodded.

"I understand."

It all ended with Morgana taking the credit for what Merlin had done. Uther praised her as the "savior of Camelot", and said that she almost single-handedly had turned the battle. Arthur and Merlin could only look at each other, knowing that they would have to fight her in secret. Morgana didn't know that Arthur knew, and that could be used to their advantage.

_thanks for reading this second part of Trust. Yes, I know, late update again. I just have a really hard time writing this story nowadays. Hopefully, it will soon turn. Also, I am writing a new fiction, but I will not publish until it is done, so that I don't lose track of that like I have with this one. Hope you will fave/follow or review. Thank you._


	12. Chapter 12 Servant And Master

**author's note; **_warning; long and smutty chapter ahead. God help me._

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 12. - Servant And Master_

Merlin had been avoiding Arthur, who had been desperately trying to be alone with Merlin, to "celebrate", although Merlin was kind of scared of Arthur's way of "celebrating". Of course, this should have happened long ago, but Merlin had done really well avoiding the prince. It wasn't the fact that Merlin didn't want to do "it" (God he felt embarrassed just by thinking about it) with Arthur... It was just that he thought they should wait. Or something like that... _I feel like a girl, seriously... _So, yeah, he had been avoiding the prince. But now, he was beginning to grow rather desperate. His plan was to not spend any moment with him alone, unless he was doing some chores. So, Merlin's days were full of chores, and when he was done with them, he did something else to keep him busy. He had been practising magic, but Arthur had grown so annoyed he had said that he would expose him if he didn't stop. So now, he was helping Gaius instead. Gaius thought it was nice that Merlin helped him more than he used to. Not that Merlin hadn't been helpful before, no, but now he was even more like the "son" Gaius wanted. Arthur was stubborn. Of course, if he had told Merlin they would drop the whole thing, Merlin could have gone back to spending his time with him. They could have hugged and cuddled, but no... Of course the prince just _had _to keep his mind on other things. Merlin started shaking and blushing every time he was about to give up and surrender to Arthur. But no! No way in hell! Not yet at least... Arthur was bound to grow tired of being alone at some point, and then they could just go back to their relationship without worries. Stupid Arthur...

Right now, Merlin was on his way to get a book for Gaius. The librarian pointed him to the Eastern Wing. That was where all the old books were... Those who didn't really need to exist because the only person in the world who wanted to read them was Gaius. Merlin spotted the book. It even _looked _boring. But, that wasn't the problem. It was placed way too high up, and he couldn't reach it, even when i jumped. Annoyed, Merlin was even prepared to use magic, but he figured climbing up the bookshelf was safer. It wasn't.

He managed to step on some kind of secret key, that made the bookshelf swing around, with Merlin still in it. And he found himself in a "secret room". _Why does stuff like this always happen to me? _he wondered as he looked around the room. It didn't seem like anyone had been there for years. Spider webs _everywhere _(and Merlin wasn't a fan of those). But, it was also kind of exciting too. You know, he had discovered a secret room after all. One does not simply discover a secret room without searching it.

Merlin accidentally kicked a box, and it made sounds! Weird sounds, like someone was trapped inside of it or something. Merlin lifted it up, so that it was standing the right way. It still made weird sounds.

And, of course because he was Merlin (who kept forgetting that he always did stupid things when he was alone) he had to open it. And out came... A weird, green creature with long, pointy ears and it apparently spoke English.

It shouldn't have been a problem. But it was. It made more sound than ten horses, and was an evil little bastard. Merlin tried to capture it, to get it back to the box, but then it transformed into a little ball of light and flew out of the secret room. Luckily, the librarian didn't hear it, poor man had to be deth...

Merlin followed the trace of it, which wasn't hard, because it made an incredible mess. Like what the hell was he (or it) doing?! It seemed he was looking for something. And right now... _Oh no. _He had entered Arthur's chambers.

The mess was... Well, Merlin had never seen the chambers like that. And he really, really, really didn't want to be here right now. If Arthur came back from whatever he was doing, he would think that Merlin had changed his mind.

The sounds from the creature came from under Arthur's bed. Merlin got on his knees to see if he could catch it, but then he heard a voice. That voice he really loved, but didn't want to hear just right now...

"Merlin? I really hope for your sake that you have a good explanation for this." he said, with crossed arms and a face that clearly said "what the hell are you doing?".

"I do... Have... A good explanation!" Merlin said, getting up. _Think of something, think of something, think of something, think of something... _He looked at Arthur's face. He didn't look angry, just kind of pleased with himself. _He thinks I've given up!_ "I'm spring cleaning!" Merlin said enthusiastically.

"It isn't spring. And it certainly isn't clean." Arthur said slowly, with a challenging look on his face.

"That's because I've only just started!" Merlin heard the door creak open, and the sound of small feet. The creature had left the room. "Yeah, you wait until I finish, you'll be able to eat your dinner off the floor." Arthur looked at him with the same expression. "Not that you'd want to." he added. They both heard a sound of something falling on the floor.

"What was that?"

"Why don't I go and see and you can make yourself comfortable?" Merlin said with a nervous smile before he quickly turned to exit the room. But he was stopped by Arthur grabbing his arm.

"Aren't you going to give in soon?" he said, smiling that cocky smile that clearly said that he knew he was irresistible. Stupid prince who was so full of himself...

"No! Can't you just drop the whole thing..." Merlin sighed and tried to get out of Arthur's grip. It wasn't really working.

"Does the thought of being with me really repel you that much, Merlin?" Arthur said with a fake, sad face. Merlin blushed and shook his head.

"I just think we should wait, that's all."

"But I don't want to wait..." Arthur said, now smiling, and pushed Merlin toward the bed. Merlin started to panic, and luckily he managed to jump away from Arthur before things got any further. "Merlin..." Arthur hummed and smiled at him with the most begging smile Arthur could possibly manage with his handsome face. As much as Merlin wanted to give in right then, he couldn't. One, because of his own pride, and second because there was a green creature running wild in the castle.

"Maybe later..." he said to Arthur, before leaving him unsatisfied in his room.

Merlin headed for where the sounds were coming from. Someone was throwing things at the floor. Stupid, green, little creature. Oh, Merlin wanted to freaking murder the thing. It was now looking through Morgana's jewelry. Merlin just prayed to God that he wasn't found here. When the creature spotted Merlin, it made an angry noise before jumping out of the window. Merlin couldn't see it anywhere outside, so instead he quickly tried to gather the necklaces and bracelets that laid spread out on the floor. But, of course, he had to be caught. Luckily, it was by Gwen, and not by the lady herself. But Merlin stilled turned a deeper shade of red than he had for days.

He could think of no one else to go to, and decided to talk to Gaius about the matter. They looked through some books, and found the creature Merlin had released. It was a Goblin. According to Gaius they were dangerous, but Merlin didn't really think it looked that dangerous, like, he wasn't scared of it or anything. But Gaius looked worried, and that worry soon jumped over to Merlin, and he began to wonder if he yet again could add another thing to his "stupid things I've done part 3"-list.

A few moments later, Gaius was summoned by the king as a matter of great delicacy and urgency. Arthur, who was the one fetching them looked serious, and Merlin couldn't help but wonder what it was that needed Gaius' attention right away. Hopefully it wasn't serious... "Oh, I should mention that if you value your lives, don't even think about laughing." Arthur said in a low tone, pointing his finger warningly at Merlin who just blinked and looked at him.

It was really, really, really (almost impossible) not to laugh when Merlin saw what the problem was. Uther had lost all his hair. His facial expression, and just the fact that he was bold was almost too much for Merlin. He (somehow) managed to keep quiet, but when they had left the room and walked far enough not to be heard, he burst out in laughter.

"Did you see Uther's face?" he managed to get out in between his giggles. Gaius just looked at him, shaking his head.

"It's clearly the goblin that's behind..." he said, worried. Merlin still laughed. "Merlin? What do you think Uther will do to the one responsible for releasing the goblin?" Merlin closed his mouth shut and stopped laughing.

"We need to catch it. How do we do that?"

"We need to set a trap, and for that we need gold, and lots of it."

What Merlin was about to do, was really brave. It was nighttime, and he was about to sneak into Arthur's chambers, to steal his gold that was locked away in a chest under his bed. Arthur should be asleep at this hour, so it shouldn't be a problem. All he needed was to sneak in without making any sounds... He was just kneeling beside the bed, Arthur's face right in front of him, when the prince opened his eyes. He blinked a couple of times, not believing what he was seeing, but then he smiled. Merlin wanted to die, and it clearly showed because he turned tomato-red. He was sure this colour of red beat the one he had had when he was discovered by Gwen a couple of hours ago.

"I knew you would change your mind." Arthur said, still smiling and sat up in his bed. Merlin's

mind tried to think of an explanation, just _any _explanation, but in vain.

Merlin got up, uncomfortable in his position, but he couldn't break eye-contact with the prince, who was now smirking.

"I..." Merlin started, but was silenced as Arthur grabbed him by his chin and dragged him down for a heated kiss. It was days since they had kissed, and Merlin suddenly remembered how good it felt. Arthur gently dragged him into the bed and put his arms around him, so that he couldn't flee.

"You can't make excuses this time, Merlin... You're in my chambers, late at night... It's just too obvious." he said, still smirking. Merlin couldn't say anything, because another kiss was placed at his lips. He just had to kiss back, really, there was no arguing with Arthur anymore, as he pushed his tongue into his mouth and made Merlin moan softly. "You have made up your mind, haven't you?" Arthur whispered into his ear, while removing his neckerchief, exposing his milky-white skin. Merlin didn't answer, he just closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Arthur's warm fingers tracing from his jaw and down his neck. The prince was already almost undressed, he always slept in nothing more but a pair of trousers.

Arthur soon wanted to see more of Merlin's skin, and pulled his shirt over his head. Merlin didn't try to resist, because he couldn't... He was tired of fighting something that he really, really wanted. Arthur placed small kissed on his neck, making Merlin shiver.

"You've made up your mind, right?" he hummed, stroking his chest gently. Merlin still didn't answer. "Merlin, answer..." Arthur said, and started to open Merlin's pants. Merlin could feel his heart race, and he started shaking slightly. "You want this... Don't you?" Arthur whispered, as he kissed Merlin's chest. Merlin hissed as Arthur's tongue slid over his now hardened nipple.

"I..." Merlin gasped as Arthur's hand slid down his pants, grabbing him softly.

"Say it... Say you want me..." Arthur whispered, still licking his nipple. Merlin wasn't quite ready to give in, but when Arthur started sucking and nibbling, there was no going back. Merlin's hips moved upwards on their own accord, and he moaned in pleasure. "Say it." Arthur smirked and tightened his grip around Merlin's erection, pumping him slowly. "You want me? Don't you?" Arthur said and kissed Merlin's hard, biting down and sucking.

"Yeah.. Yes... I want you..." Merlin gasped and moved his hand to Arthur's hair, grabbing it to pull him even closer. Arthur grinned, happy that Merlin finally had given in to him, and pulled his servant's pants all the way down, then his own. They both moaned as their now naked bodies touched.

Arthur's held his hand up in front of Merlin and stroke his lips with his fingers.

"Suck." he demanded, and his more than willing servant obliged, licking and sucking the fingers of his beloved master. Arthur sighed in pleasure.

Arthur soon pulled his fingers out of Merlin's mouth and traced them down his back, and continued down. It kind of surprised Merlin that Arthur knew what to do. Of course Merlin knew, because he had (as embarrassing as it was to admit) read about it after he and Arthur "got together". He didn't get much time to think about anything, because he knew what was going to happen, and his heart was beating so hard it felt like it would jump out of his chest. Arthur noticed that he was shaking slightly and kissed him, trying to calm him down. Merlin relaxed for a moment, but only until Arthur inserted a finger.

"Ah... Arthur..." Merlin moaned and shut his eyes. It was kind of painful, but not very. Arthur carefully moved his finger in and out, readying him for another.

After about a minute, he added another finger. Merlin hissed. "h... hurts..." he whimpered, but Arthur didn't stop. He scissored his fingers, preparing Merlin for something a lot bigger.

Arthur was beginning to grow impatient, and decided that it was enough foreplay. He turned Merlin around so that he was laying face down, and climbed over him, getting in the right position. "Arthur wait..." Merlin said, but the prince had no intention of waiting any longer.

"I can't hold back anymore, Merlin... I need you." Arthur moaned, and before Merlin managed to say anything he pushed inside of him. Merlin moaned, mostly in pain, but it wasn't just painful. Of course, just the thought of Arthur entering him made him hot all over.

"Does it hurt?" Arthur asked softly and kissed Merlin's back. Merlin nodded.

"Yeah..." Arthur gave Merlin some time to adjust to his size, before he started moving slowly in and out. Merlin moaned his name, and wondered why the hell he had delayed this. It was _so _good... So _fucking _good.

"You're so tight, Merlin..." Arthur moaned as he started moving faster. Just Arthur's sexy, husky voice could made Merlin cum, he just hadn't noticed it until now.

Until now, Arthur had been kind of gentle with Merlin, but he felt himself losing it as thrust into his servant. The sight of him laying there, moaning his name over and over again... It was just so hot...

"Harder..." Merlin moaned and arched his back to meet Arthur's thrusts. The prince was happy to oblige and slammed hard and fast into the smaller man. He was pretty close now, he could feel it... Just a little more now and he would be over the edge. But he didn't want to finish before Merlin did, and kept on going, until Merlin was literally screaming his name as he hit his spot. "Hit it again..." he moaned, and Arthur did as he was asked. He didn't want to wait for anything, he just wanted to see Merlin cum under him. "Ah... Ah... Arthur... Oh... I'm... So... Close..." Merlin hissed through glittered teeth.

"Me too..." Arthur moaned between heavy breaths. He was so close now.. Just a few more thrusts...

"Oh... Arthur... I'm... Ah..." And Merlin moaned loudly as he came. Arthur felt Merlin's walls shut together around him, and it was enough for him to be pushed over the edge, and cum deep inside his servant, while shouting his name out loud.

Arthur stayed inside of his servant, just a few seconds after they were both finished. He was sweating all over his body and his breathing was heavy. The same could be said for Merlin. With a moan from both men, Arthur pulled out and laid down beside Merlin, and put his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace.

"That was so good..." he sighed in Merlin's ear, and Merlin nodded, agreeing.

"Yeah...

Arthur went to sleep, his arms wrapped around Merlin. For a moment, Merlin just wanted to lay there. It felt nice... Just laying there, being loved and wanted... But, he had work to do. So, when he was sure that Arthur was asleep he crawled out of the bed, got the treasure chest and left the room. Hopefully Arthur wouldn't be too disappointed in the morning when he didn't wake up next to his servant.

Merlin hurried to Gaius, they had the plan all set, and he was late. He just hoped he didn't have to explain himself to Gaius... What was he going to say? "Sorry I'm late I just had to sleep with Arthur?" he blushed and shook his head. No, just no way...

"What took you so long?" Gaius asked and looked at the still sweaty Merlin.

"Arthur woke up, I had to explain myself..." Merlin said, it wasn't a lie... But it wasn't quite true either.

"Did he make you do pushups or what?" Gaius said, still looking at him with his eyebrows lifted.

"Yeah, something like that... Now, come on!" he said and started to place the coins out on the floor, making a track leading to the pharmacy. They had to catch the goblin so that it wouldn't do any more harm. They waited beside the door, ready to close it whenever it came.

They didn't have to wait very long, because they soon hear the sound of small feet, and the green creature entered. It followed the trace of golden coins all the way to the chest that contained the rest of them. It looked really happy, but Merlin didn't feel sorry for the thing. He creeped up behind him, about to ambush it and threw a piece of cloth over it. It soon transformed into that little light bowl and started to fly around the room. Hopefully it wouldn't find a place to get out... Merlin tried to capture it many times, and thought he got it when he threw himself over it with the piece of cloth. But... It wasn't there? Where was it?

"Gaius? Did you see where it went?"

"You let it escape you stupid boy!" Gaius suddenly said and hit him over the head. Merlin just looked at him like 'what the hell?' "And now you're just standing there like a sack of potatoes! Go after it! Shu! Shu!" Gaius said and pushed him toward the door. Merlin could understand that Gaius was annoyed, but this wasn't like him at all. However, he did hurry out of the door, where the goblin probably had escaped.

Merlin had looked around the entire castle, and couldn't find the goblin anywhere, nor any signs of it. Well, that was until he came back to the pharmacy.

"What's happened here?" he asked, not believing his own eyes. He had never seen it look so messy ever before. Bottles all over the floor, smashed with it's contains floating out..

"It's that pesky goblin! You let it escape and now it has ransacked my premises! You've got some cleaning up to do!" _Wait? What!?_ He had been running around the castle for about two hours, and now he was going to clean too?! He was _tired. _"Clean! Clean!" Gaius said, apparently he was on his way out.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the tavern."

"You never go to the tavern!"

"Then I shall see what I've been missing."And before Merlin could say anything else, he was gone. Why couldn't he stay and at least help him clean this up? It would take all night... Oh well... At least now he could do it with magic. Gaius never did like it when he used his magic to clean stuff...

The first thing Merlin did when he was finally done was go straight to bed. He was so tired, and his backside was slightly hurting... Not because of the cleaning, but because of his... Well, nightly activities in Arthur's chambers... Stupid prince making him more tired than he should have been... Not that Merlin regretted it, oh no. It had been the only good thing about this day.

The next morning he came down from his room to find a horrible-looking Gaius. Gaius was old, but today he looked twice as old as usual. And that is saying something...

"You look terrible." Merlin stated, as a means of concern, not to be rude. "How much did you drink last night?"

"You don't look so good yourself, what's your excuse?" Gaius answered and looked angrily at Merlin.  
"What?"

"Shhh! Too much talking." Gaius said and turned away. "Why don't you make yourself useful? Go to the marked and fetch my breakfast! Away! Go!" he shouted, and Merlin hurried out of the room. When Gaius was being like this, there was just no way he deserved breakfast! So, he went to go and look for the goblin instead, but... Again with no result.

When he returned to Gaius, he found him in front of the treasure-chest, which had not been returned, licking the gold. Just like he had seen the goblin do... It suddenly all made sense.

"You're the goblin!" he said, startling Gaius who hadn't noticed him standing there.

"Have you lost your mind?" Gaius, or, the goblin said, trying to defend itself.

"No! But you have! Or.. At least it's been taken over!"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I know Gaius as well as I know myself and you're not him!"

"Ah, you've got me!" the goblin admitted, smiling with the face of Gaius. It annoyed Merlin more than he could say. "How do you like my new body? It's a bit old and creaky but it's ever so much fun."

"It's not your body! It's Gaius' body! What have you done with him?"

"He is still in here somewhere."

"Gaius has done you no harm! Leave him..." Merlin said, beggingly.

"Alright, you've convinced me!" _What? Really? _"On second thoughts, I think I'll stay right where I am. I like it in here. The freedom, the gold, the beer... Did I mention the gold?"

"If you hurt Gaius... I will kill you." Merlin threatened.

"You'll be killing him. You see the problem? I'm him, he's me. We're all jumbled up in here." he smiled at Merlin, before leaving the room.

Merlin did see the problem alright, but the problem of the problem was finding a solution. How the hell did he get the goblin out of Gaius?

The goblin was really childish. Like, making Uther bold had actually been a funny thing. But

making the king, Morgana and Gwen fart in the middle of a council? Come on, that was just... Stupid. Merlin waited in the pharmacy to give the goblin a piece of his mind...

"Don't tell me you didn't think that was funny?" 'Gaius' said when he entered the room, laughing. Merlin just stood there with his poker-face. "Not even a little bit?" the goblin laughed.

"If you carry on like this, you're going to get Gaius killed." Merlin said.

"Merlin, you underestimate me! I have cured Uther of his farting and his boldness. He is forever in my debt, to him I am a genius."  
"This has to stop!"

"I see no reason why. Now, if you're quite finished, I'm going to the tavern." Gaius smiled, and turned around to leave, but Merlin wouldn't let him. With magic he closed the door right in his face. He regretted it the second afterwards.

"Well, well, well..." Gaius said, smiling an evil smile. "Looks like you have a secret of your own, Merlin."

"Leave his body, or you will regret it." Merlin said, warningly. He wanted to sound more threatening, but it was hard... He just wasn't that kind of a guy.

"Your magic may be powerful, but I have an advantage."

"And what is that?"

"I can hurt you..." Gaius said, and with magic he lifted up a knife and launched it at Merlin, who stopped with magic and sent in in return, it was about to hit Gaius when Merlin realised that he would be killing Gaius too. "You can not hurt me without hurting Gaius." Merlin let the blade drop to the floor.

"I won't rest before I've found a way to force you out of Gaius' body." he said, and left the room.

He had to tell Arthur, there was just no other way. He had to get help, and quick. He probably didn't know what to do, but... Yeah, then he wouldn't be alone against the goblin, and... He had to tell Arthur about it before he was arrested. The goblin now knew that he had magic... It could tell the king. Luckily, Merlin found the prince in his chambers.

"Ah, Merlin!" he said, and smiled widely. Even though he had lost all his gold, he was still happy to see his servant. When he looked at Merlin's worried face, he tilted his head slightly and asked if his body was alright. Merlin blushed but nodded. "You don't look fine... What's the matter?"

"Gaius-" Merlin started, but was interrupted by guards who entered the room.

"What are you doing? You're supposed to knock!" Arthur sneered at them.

"We're sorry, my lord, but we're here to arrest Merlin, by orders of the king." they said, grabbing Merlin.

"No! What are you doing? Merlin is _my _servant!" Arthur protested, but it didn't help.

"Orders of the king." they said, and pulled Merlin out of the room, bringing him to the council.

Arthur followed, constantly yelling that it was a mistake. Merlin wanted to do something, but he knew, trying to escape would only make things worse.

He now stood in front of the king, who looked really, really mad. This, however, did not seem to scare Arthur.

"Father! What are you doing?!"

"Silence!" he said, lifting his hand to silence Arthur, but it didn't work.

"It's a mistake! Merlin hasn't done anything!"

"Do you know what he is accused for?" The king asked, and Arthur became silent. "Now then, is it true that you are responsible for the... things that has happened to me and other members of the court?" the king said, looking at Merlin.

"What?! No!" Merlin protested, and looked over at Gaius. It most certainly was his doing...

"Gaius." the king said.

"I found this in our room. It's a book of spells and enchantments." Gaius, or the goblin said, holding up a magic book. Not the one that actually belonged to Merlin though. It was one of the books from the secret room where he had released the goblin.

"He is lying!" Merlin said, and thought his next words through carefully... He had to explain things for everyone... But the hard part was, making them believe him. "That's not Gaius." he said, and wanted to mentally hit himself for the bad start. Everyone just looked at him as if he was crazy, but luckily Arthur came to his rescue.

"What do you mean?"

"He's being possesed by a goblin..." Merlin said, and knew right away that no one would believe him. He was just a servant after all.

"The boy is just making the most desperate and ridiculous accusations." Gaius said, rolling his eyes at Merlin.

"Do you seriously want me to believe that Gaius is a goblin?" Uther said, and looked at Gaius, who (to him) looked just like he always did.

"It's controlling him... Gaius is still in there!" Merlin mumbled, getting more and more desperate. Arthur still wanted to help.

"Do you have any proof?" he asked, and Merlin could see in his eyes that he was hoping to God that he had.

"No!" Merlin answered, and mentally face palmed at his own foolishness.

"I fear that magic has corrupted you... It pains me more than I can tell you." Gaius said, looking sorry in a fake way. It annoyed Merlin.

"I really doubt that!"

"My lord I have been harboring a sorcerer and for that I offer my most sincere apology."

"You were not to know. He has fooled us all."

"It's not me who's fooling you!" Merlin shouted, but was silenced by the king.

"Silence! You have been found guilty of using magic, by the laws of Camelot you will pay with your life." But Arthur would not let this happen without a fight.

"Father! What if he is telling the truth?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Arthur. Just look at Gaius, he is not a goblin." Uther said shaking his head in disbelief.

"But if it's controlling him, we wouldn't be able to see the difference!" Arthur said, and looked at Merlin for support. Merlin nodded quickly, but Uther gave the sign to the guards to take him away. "Father! He is my servant! And... I believe him!" he could hear Arthur say, as he was taken out of the room.

Apparently, Arthur had not managed to change the king's mind, because Merlin was still in the dungeons. Not that he blamed the prince, no, not at all. To persuade the king was something that nobody could do. Especially not when it came to the subject of magic. Merlin knew he had to escape, or he would be executed, there was no doubt about that. So, in the middle of the night he took the keys from the sleeping guard (with magic) and unlocked the door. He managed to sneak through the castle and outside, but then he was spotted, and the warning-bells rang.

He (somehow) managed to hide in between some poor houses, and he had to wait there until things had calmed down. He was a bit cold, but it was alright. He had to get to Arthur, and tell

him about everything, maybe they could figure out something together...

Merlin managed to sneak into Arthur's chambers the next day. It wasn't easy, but Merlin was skilled at that field, after all. When he entered the room, he couldn't see Arthur anywhere.

"Arthur?" he said, not loud, because he couldn't risk being found. He heard a noise come from the other side of the bed. It sounded like some kind of animal? What would an animal be doing in the prince's chambers? He walked around the bed, and looked where the sound had come from, and he was shocked. It was Arthur. Only... He had the ears of a donkey, and apparently the voice too... Merlin couldn't help but laugh.

"What happened?" Arthur could only answer with donkey-like sounds. Merlin laughed again, and kneeled down beside the pitiful prince. "Did Gaius do this to you?" Arthur couldn't answer, poor thing. Merlin couldn't resist it, and started to pet him on the head. Arthur closed his eyes, clearly enjoying the touch. So, he had the brain of a donkey too? _God help us... _Well, that meant he would be completely useless. He would have to ask someone else for help... Maybe Gwen? They were friends after all, and he had helped her many times... Yeah, she would definitely be useful. With one last pat on Arthur's head, he got up and left the room.

He had looked through some books, and they said that if the host body died, then the goblin would die with it, so if Gaius was dying, it would be forced to leave him... Then they would have the chance to capture it. He needed Gwen to give Gaius the antidote, so that he wouldn't actually die. As Merlin had thought, she was more than willing to help.

Merlin mixed a poison and an antidote, hopefully he hadn't screwed this up. This was Gaius' field, not his, but... He thought he had done a pretty good job. He poured the poison over the coins that the goblin liked to lick, and then they both hid in Merlin's room, only leaving the door slightly open so that they had a view down to the pharmacy.

They didn't have to wait long, and when Gaius entered the room, they were both ready for it. Gaius opened the chest, and started to lick the coins. It looked awful and disgusting, and Gwen wrinkled her nose. Suddenly, the goblin noticed that something was wrong, and Merlin and Gwen could come out from their hiding place.

"You've poisoned me..." the Goblin said, and stood there shaking, almost faltering. "You've poisoned Gaius."

"Leave his body while you still can!" the goblin did just that, and Gaius fell to the ground. "Give him the antidote!" he shouted to Gwen, and then he picked up the box, the very one he had found the goblin in in the first place, and tried to capture it.

It was harder than he had expected, and it transformed into the light again. It tried to enter Merlin through his mouth, but Merlin's magic was strong, and he kept it inside his mouth for a few seconds, just long enough to get to the box and spit it out in it, he then quickly closed it and sealed it.

"I don't know which one's the antidote!" he heard Gwen say hysterically. _Oh for the love of... _He had given her _one _task. And it should have been quite simple! Merlin wanted to yell at her, but that wouldn't really help Gaius, so he helped her look for it instead.

After way too long time, he picked up one, and decided that it was the right bottle. He picked it up and gave the antidote to Gaius. And... Luckily, it was the right one. Gaius was alive, the goblin was captured and everything would be fine.

The now real Gaius explained everything to Uther, making Merlin not guilty and free of all charges. That made both Arthur and Merlin happy, the only one who looked mad was Morgana. Oh well, who would want to make her happy anyway? Merlin just promised himself that he would never, ever, ever, _ever _open a box that made weird noises ever again.

_Thank you for reading this rather long chapter. I couldn't resist doing this episode, because... Yeah, I don't know. I have already written a lot on next chapter, so hopefully it will come shortly. I must thank you all for the reviews, faves and follows! It means so much to me! :D_


	13. Chapter 13 To Know The Future

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 13. - To Know The Future_

They were running, and they were running fast. As fast as you have to run when you have a horde of hostile soldiers on your tail. Normally, the prince would stop to fight, but right now the odds of him winning were too low. Merlin wondered how they had gotten into this situation in the first place. It's not like they had asked for trouble! Or, maybe? Had they? The last thing he remembered was a roar from a bunch of soldiers as they ambushed him and his master. Arthur had drawn his sword, looked at them for a moment, then turned around to run.

Merlin just prayed to God that he wouldn't trip. Because Merlin had, what can you say? A... Talent? Yeah, he had a talent for tripping when it was most vital for him to stay on his feet. But, this time it actually looked like he would be able to run. Not that he could keep up with Arthur for very long... He was already starting to fall behind.

"Come on, Merlin!" Arthur yelled, not slowing down. Merlin had no choice but to follow the prince.

They ran down a little hillside, hoping that they could hide down there. Arthur popped his head over the top, looking to see if they were still following them.

"Are they still after us?" Merlin asked, trying to catch his breath.

"I told you we would outrun them." Arthur said cockishly and grinned.

"Are you sure...?" Merlin stood up to see too.

"Why is it you never trust me, Merlin?" Arthur asked, and only a few seconds later, they both saw why. The bandits that had been following them, suddenly came yelling, they had obviously still been following them. They both just looked at each other for a split-second, then Arthur helped Merlin up the little hillside, and climbed after him. They stopped for a moment, not knowing which was to take.

"This way!" Arthur said and grabbed Merlin's arm.

"Where are we going?"

"Trust me!" Merlin seriously didn't want to trust Arthur right now. This entire day had been nothing but Arthur making bad decisions. But, he was the prince after all...

Merlin suddenly stopped. He had been running after Arthur, who had just entered a hollow. Merlin could see big statues standing on both sides of the little pathway. And he could _feel _the magic coming from the whole place.

"Arthur!" he yelled, but Arthur had no time to argue.

"What are you doing!?" He yelled, while taking his hand, holding it hard, not letting go in a million years. Merlin tried to get free, but it was no use.

Merlin couldn't help it. He felt scared. He was always frightened when he felt such powerful magic coming from something. It made him feel powerless and small. Like his magic was nothing compared to what laid hidden here.

"What is this place?" he asked Arthur, who he was still holding hands with.

"The Valley of the Fallen Kings."

"Is it cursed?" It was the first thought that had entered Merlin's mind when he felt the magic.

"No... Not unless you are superstitious."

"It is..."

"It's a myth. And, they'll never follow us in here, they won't dare." Arthur said, cutting him off. Merlin just hoped he was right. "Trust me." he added, and Merlin could swear he said it only to annoy him.

"If you say that one more time..."

Arthur wasn't right. They were still followed. Merlin could see Arthur running just a couple of feet in front of himself, and then... He suddenly fell. An arrow had pierced through his armor and was now planted in his back.

"What was that?" Arthur hissed through glittered teeth.

"An arrow."

"An arrow? Good... For a moment I thought it was something terrible..." Arthur moaned, obviously in a lot of pain. Then... He fainted.

Merlin (somehow) managed to hide Arthur and himself in some bushes, and watched as the hostile soldiers passed by. He hadn't had the time to check Arthur's wound much, but he didn't see the seriousness of it before he saw just how deep the arrow had gone.

He was bleeding, and unconscious. And... Merlin honestly didn't know that much about healing-spells. Of course, he tried every single one of the few he did know. But they didn't have any effect. He was now starting to get... You know... Nervous? It felt kind of unreal for the prince to die from something like this. They hadn't been taking the chasing seriously at all... And now... Was he going to die because of this? Of course not! Merlin would never let that happen. But, what if he couldn't do anything to prevent it?

Merlin had cleaned his wound to the best of his abilities, and mentally hit himself over and over again for not paying more attention to when Gaius did stuff like this. He probably would have known what to do... And the entire time he had this feeling of being small, because of the cursed place they were in. He knew it was cursed. He just _knew._

After even more healing-spells, some "I have no idea what I'm doing"-medicine made of random plants, and a desperate prayer, Arthur still looked pale. Merlin was beginning to feel as if he was losing him. Like, for real.

He was sitting on the ground, washing blood off his hands in a little water-pit, when he felt someone closing in on him. When he lifted his gaze, he saw an old man. "Tell me, why are you so sad?" the man asked. Merlin didn't know weather or not to answer him, but found it best. He had nothing to lose now anyway... If he couldn't save Arthur... Maybe this man could? Even if it was a million to one.

"My friend... He is dying. I can't help him." Merlin sobbed. He had been crying, without even thinking about it.

"Do not waste your tears, for I can tell you that the time for him to die is not yet upon us." Merlin could feel his heart beat faster. It had slowed down, almost like his will to live, but now it was beginning to race again. So, Arthur wasn't going to die after all? Merlin had a strange feeling... Almost like he... Had known that this was going to happen? But, it couldn't be? But, why had he not been more sad when he thought Arthur was dying? It had to be because he deep down knew that he was not.

"Don't be afraid, my name is Taliesin." the old man said as he kneeled down beside Arthur. Normally Merlin would never let anyone get that close to the prince. But, if this man couldn't help Arthur, he was a dead man.

"I'm Merlin..." Merlin answered.

"I know who you are. The moment of our meeting has been written for many, many years. You are Emrys." Merlin didn't really care for that name. It just confused him. Why couldn't people just call him Merlin? Why did all these magical people always use that name? He liked his own name! It was the name his mother had given him, and therefore his rightful name. It was the name his father had used, and the name Gaius used, and most important of all, it was the name Arthur used. Poor Arthur, he didn't even know that Merlin had a second name.

The old man put his hand over Arthur's wound, and said one simple word. His eyes flashed golden, just like Merlin's did when he used magic, and Arthur's pale colour returned to normal, and he sighed in relief.

"Arthur?" Merlin said, softly. He just wanted to hear his voice to know that everything was going to be alright.

"He is sleeping. Within hours he will be fully recovered." the man explained when Arthur didn't answer.

"You're sure?"

"If my memory serves me well."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to show you something, Merlin." Well, at least the old man said his real name. Merlin didn't really want to leave Arthur defenceless like this... But... As always, he was curious.

"What?"

"You must wait and see." the old man teased, and Merlin rolled his eyes (which Taliesin could not see because he had already started walking). And, because Merlin was stupid, naive and curious, he followed the old man.

They had been walking for a while, in the cursed hollows, when they came to a cave.

"Where are we going? Why did you bring me here?" Merlin asked over and over again, but the old man didn't give him any answers.

"In good time, you will discover all." he said with a little laugh, and showed Merlin into the cave.

Merlin soon saw that it wasn't just any cave. It was a cave full of crystals.

"What is this place?" he asked. He could feel the magic here too, now stronger than ever. And it was a scary feeling. He felt small again.

"This is where all magic began. It is the crystal cave." The crystals reminded Merlin of something he had seen before... Something... Like that time when he looked into the crystal... When he saw Camelot burn... He looked into one of the crystals, and saw Morgana sitting on the throne as queen. The sight scared him, and he soon pulled his eyes away from it and placed his gaze on the old man.

"What is it you see?" the man asked.

"Images. Flashes. I've seen something like this before in the crystal of Neathred."

"What you see here is exactly the same, for the crystal of Neathred was made here in this very cave. Look into them, Emrys. Really! Look! Much shall be revealed." Merlin turned half way around to look at the crystals, but quickly made up his mind. He was not going to go through that hell of fearing the future again!

"No! Take me out of here! How do I get back to Arthur?"

"The future is hidden to all but a very few, Emrys. You are one such person."  
"No! I've been through this before."

"Perhaps there is a reason you were brought here in this moment in time."

"What reason?"

"Only the crystals can tell you. They contain futures that are not yet born. The secrets they reveal are unique to you, and you alone. Look into them, Emrys. Really, look! Use what you see, for good." With that, Merlin had made up his mind. He had to look. He just had to.

And what he saw was this; The first image was Morgana struggling with a horse. The second of her unveiling a beautiful dagger. The third of her walking in a corridor. The fourth of wine dripping from someones fingers, and the fifth himself screaming. He pulled way. It hurt to see into the crystals. Like his head got filled with information that shouldn't be there.

He looked into another one, and saw the same images again, and a new one. Morgana pulling up the beautiful dagger in front of a sleeping Uther. The last image he saw was the light disappearing from Uther's eyes after he had been stabbed by Morgana.

Merlin couldn't focus on anything. All he kept seeing was these visions, over and over again. And his head hurt like shit. Arthur woke up, and he didn't even notice before he threw something at him.

"Are you alright, Merlin?"

"Yeah... Yeah, sure... Let's go." he said and got up, not meeting Arthur's eyes.

"Merlin?"

"What?"

"I'm the one who gives the orders... Remember?"  
"Yeah... You ready? Let's go." Merlin said, turned around and went ahead. Arthur just stood there, looking like he didn't understand anything. Which was the case.

Merlin didn't know why, but he didn't want to tell Arthur about what he had seen. Basically, it was because Arthur and Morgana had grown much closer lately. And she hadn't tried anything. Again, Merlin was hoping for the best... That she had changed her ways. Not that he believed it, obviously, but he wanted to. And he didn't want to worry Arthur either. Cause why worry him when it wasn't even sure that it was a real future? He decided to keep it to himself, at least for now.

They walked back to Camelot in silence. Or, Merlin was silent. Arthur was not, not at all. He was constantly trying to get Merlin to tell him what was wrong, and Merlin kept repeating that he had a headache. Which was, in fact, part true.

That night, he talked to Gaius about what he had seen. It helped, at least a bit. But, Merlin was still anxious, and trusted Morgana even less. He would just have to keep an eye out for her, and make sure that Uther was safe. For he was not going to let Arthur's father die, it would destroy him. Even though Arthur was old enough to handle it... He didn't want to put him through it. He knew what it was like losing a father, having lost his quite recently.

He entered Arthur's chambers the next morning, determined to make up for his bad mood yesterday with a solid breakfast for his master. Arthur, was already up.

"You're up early!" Merlin said, smiling. Arthur smiled back and nodded eagerly.

"It's Morgana's birthday. I have to get her a present." Merlin smiled and nodded. He didn't mind it. Maybe if Arthur was gentle and good to her, her heart would soften? Merlin could never think that anyone could resist Arthur's charm. But, then again, Merlin was a special case.

"What are you getting here?" Merlin said, and enjoyed how daily-like their conversation seemed. Almost like he had never entered the cave. At least until he heard the answer.

"It's a secret." Arthur said, still smiling.

"Oh, come on. You can tell me."

"A dagger." Merlin felt a cold shiver creep down his spine, and he almost opened his mouth to tell Arthur not to give her that. But he didn't.

Later that day, another thing happened that worried him. A lot. He saw Morana struggling with a horse. Normally, this wouldn't be an unusual sight, but it was the exact same image as the first thing he had seen in the crystal cave.

Yet again he had to talk to Gaius, but he said that it was hardly anything to bother thinking about. Seeing Morgana with a horse wasn't special. But, Gaius hadn't been to the caves. He didn't know how it felt to see the image in real life. It scared Merlin, but, that had been one of the harmless pictures, so, hopefully it was the only thing that was going to happen. Although, he didn't quite believe in that himself.

He returned to Arthur's chambers, to find him a bit stressed out. Just because Merlin hadn't prepared his clothes for the feast. Arthur handed him (or threw) the clothes. In front of the table where Arthur was sitting, Merlin's eyes caught sight of a small box. Arthur followed his gaze and picked it up.

"Ah, Morgana's birthday present." he said, smiling and opened the box. And yes, it was a dagger. But it was nothing like the one Merlin had seen in the vision. Right then he just wanted to hug Arthur for picking such a simple dagger. For the one he had seen had been beautiful, and this one was just simple. If he was Morana he would probably be disappointed.

"Feel the balance! Feel the sharpness of the blade!" Arthur said, proudly. Merlin did so, still smiling widely.

"Yeah! It's just what every woman wants isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think women only go for pretty things, like, maybe... Jewelry?"

Merlin entered the Great Hall, where the feast was in good mood. Better than he had felt in days, yeah, weeks! The thought of the crystals and the visions were completely gone. Oh God how he loved Arthur and his taste for simple things.

His mood turned around one hundred and eighty degrees when Morgana opened Arthur's present. It wasn't the dagger Arthur had shown Merlin. It was the exact same dagger as the one in his visions. It was beautiful... Not simple

"Sometimes you are right, Merlin. Girls do like pretty things, thanks!" Arthur said to him.

He decided that Morgana could not be left alone. Someone had to watch her. He teamed up with Gaius, and they were going to take turns, watching her night and day. God, Merlin felt like a pervert when he hid just outside her chambers. At least he wasn't in there... If he had, and Arthur found out about it, he might have been in trouble. But, nobody was going to see him. All he was going to do was making sure that Morgana did not leave her chambers this night. He was doubting himself though. Staying awake an entire night wasn't on his (short) skill-list.

Some time before midnight, the doors to her chamber opened, and she came out. She was wearing her red hood, just like she had in his visions. And she had the dagger in her belt. Merlin followed her, silently. That was one of his skills, odd enough. She was just about to enter through a door, when Merlin made up his mind to stop her. He used magic to slam the door closed. Morgana was started, and in her confusion, she tripped and fell down the stairway, which was right next to her. That had not been Merlin's intentions at all! He quickly ran to see if she was alright. She laid completely still at the bottom of the stairs. For a moment Merlin thought that she had broken her neck and died, but that was not the case. She was still breathing, thank God.

He hurried to wake up Arthur and Gwen, to help him carry her to Gaius for some medical attention.

Morgana was dying, there was no doubt about that. Nothing Gaius could to could save her. She had a bleeding in the brain, something nobody could cure. Nobody, except a certain, skilled warlock. But Merlin didn't want to save her. He couldn't save her. He had prevented Uther from dying. Morgana was an enemy of Camelot. She had tried to kill everyone, she had even tried to kill Arthur. Merlin kept repeating these reasons to himself over and over again. It was really hard to though, especially when he saw the blue, sad eyes of Arthur when he came back to his chambers after visiting Morgana.

"I know she has done... Many things but... I think she's changed! Merlin, I really do! She is like a sister to me. Is there nothing you can do?" Merlin bit his lip, hesitating, but shook his head.

"No, I don't know how to heal her... I'm sorry, Arthur." he could see how sad the prince was, no... He could _feel _his sadness. And it was like a cold fist holding around his heart. He wanted to say something... Anything to make it better. But he couldn't. Not when he deep down knew that he could save her. God damn it! Why did it have to happen like this? He never meant for Morgana to die...

The real shock for Merlin came when he was eavesdropping on Gaius and Uther's conversation. It appeared that... Morgana was Uther's daugher. That meant... She was Arthur's half-sister. That was... Horrible! And... Yeah.. No wonder she could do no harm in Uther's eyes. No wonder he was so blind to her true nature. But it was sad, really sad, for Uther... He really did love her like his own daughter. And she wanted him dead. Merlin kind of wanted to tell him everything, just so that he would understand. But he knew he couldn't. And he couldn't tell Arthur about it either. If Morgana was going to die, it wouldn't help Arthur to know that she was his half-sister.

When Merlin brought Uther some medicine to calm his nerves, he found him crying. For Merlin to see the king cry was... Well, he had never seen it before. And he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He was about to lose his daughter after all.

Even if Arthur knew her true nature, he was still furious about her dying, and he took it out on the training ground, even though it was raining heavily.

"I don't want her to die, Merlin..." he said quietly. And... With that, Merlin couldn't let her die. He just couldn't see both Arthur and his father like this. Gwen too... She was crying a lot. Hell, even Gaius looked depressed. Morgana had been a friend, a very dear friend to Merlin when she was... Good. But, her ways had changed. But, surely, all was not lost? She could return to the good side, couldn't she? Merlin wanted to believe that.

He knew he didn't have the power to cure her, but he knew where he could get them. The Great Dragon. He went out in search for him, which wasn't hard, because he could just go out in the woods and call, being a dragonlord.

However, the dragon did not want to cure Morgana. Again, being a dragonlord had its advantages. Merlin ordered the dragon to give him the powers, and so it did. But, it told him that the evils that would follow, was of Merlin's doing, and his alone. That did worry him, but when he thought about all the sad people, he still had made up his mind to cure Morgana.

And the happiness that followed the day she woke up, was great. Uther was so thankful to Gaius, and Arthur (who knew Merlin had saved her) was also happy. Gwen cried out of joy, and Gaius looked pleased too.

However, Merlin was soon to regret what he had done.

It was the night after Morgana had awaken. Gaius and Merlin had been eating their supper, hoping that they wouldn't have to deal with the alarm-bell that rang, when a guard had come running to get them. They quickly got up, and followed him.

In one of the many corridors, they saw Arthur, and at his feet, a dead servant. He had been carrying wine when he fell, and it was now spilled all over the floor. Merlin and Gaius knelt beside him to see what had killed him. And when Gaius lifted his hand, Merlin saw the same image as he had seen in the crystal. Wine dripping from the servants fingers... And he knew that he hadn't stopped anything.

He now had to prevent the future from happening, and fast. Because Morgana was going to kill Uther... And she was going to do it tonight. Merlin hurried to her chambers and opened the door. He found her ready to leave.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, venom in each of her words.

"Arthur sent me to look after you. He is worried about the intruder."

"I don't need you." she said, and walked towards the door. But Merlin stopped her, grabbing her wrist.

"He was quite persistent."

"Get outta my way!" she shouted, and in the flash, Merlin could see her eyes turn golden, and he was thrown into the wall with magic. He hit his head... And, everything was black, but only for a few moments. With blurry vision, he got up and ran after her.

When he entered the king's chambers, it looked like it was too late. But, with magic, he made the window explode, causing Morgana to back off, startled, and the king to wake up. Morgana quickly came up with an excuse for being in the king's chambers. That lying witch.

At least Merlin had saved the king's life. Even though... He had been trying to prevent the future, but instead he had caused it. Gaius now believed that Morgana knew the truth about Uther being her father. And that meant, that she was of royal blood... And if Uther died, the only thing that stood between her and the throne was... Arthur.

_-  
Sorry about the end, had to hurry to get it done. Hopefully next chapter will be better. And, I already know which episode it's gonna be, haha. x.x Well, thanks for reading anyway. And, with this chapter, we've now passed 100 pages! So, thank you all for your support! And, as always please fave/follow and review!_


	14. Chapter 14 The Choice

**author's note; **_wanted smutt? here you go. :3_

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 14. - The Choice_

Arthur was in a good mood. He had been feeling like this quite often recently. And today was no exception. They were preparing a feast, because lord Godwyn and his daughter was soon arriving as guests at the court of Camelot. Godwyn was an old friend of Uther, so of course they visited every year, but this was the first time he brought his daughter. It was just too bad that Arthur didn't see what was coming.

He began to notice that something was... Going in a direction he didn't like, when Uther spoke so warmly of the lady Elena. And... That she was strategic, and that Godwyn found _Arthur _strategic...

Apparently, Uther wanted an allegiance between the two kingdoms... And that was supposed to be made by... Arthur and Elena... Marrying?

"What? Marriage?" Arthur asked out loud. Uther just smiled and pat his shoulder.

"I knew you would understand!" he said, and before Arthur got the chance to protest, the guests had arrived.

Sure, for someone who was _not _Merlin, princess Elena looked alright. Not very beautiful, but not too bad either. Of course, she could never be beautiful, considering the fact that Merlin was in the same room. He was standing a couple of feet away, looking at her. Did he like her? Well, not that it mattered, because she was a princess, and Merlin was just a servant. Arthur soon saw why Merlin looked at her though. It was not because of her beauty, but by the way she walked... And soon, she fell over. Arthur would have found it funny, if it hadn't been so _wrong. _A princess tripping in the middle of the Great Hall... Just, no. No. It was just embarrassing. Merlin, however, found it hilarious, and Arthur had to punch him (quite carefully) in his stomach to make him shut up before both lord Godwyn and Uther murdered him on the spot.

Arthur hurried to his chambers when the welcoming-ceremony was done, all so that his father couldn't say anything more about the ridiculous idea of him and Elena marrying.

Merlin soon entered. That poor guy had been set to carry all the guests belongings to their chambers. But, even though he was out of breath from carrying, he still spotted right away that something was wrong.

"What's the matter?" he asked, and looked at the prince. Arthur was just glad that he asked. This wasn't really something that he wanted to be alone with, and, anyway... Maybe Merlin could help?

"My father had some... Weird ideas... He... He expects me to marry princess Elena." Merlin just looked at him in shock. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to." Arthur stated, quickly. Merlin just smiled, and blushed slightly.

"I know." he said, softly.

"You are going to spend the night, aren't you?" Arthur said and smirked, while grabbing Merlin's wrist, so that he wouldn't try to run away. Not that he had been doing that, not recently anyway.

"No... We shouldn't..." Merlin started, but Arthur cut him off with a kiss.

"Why not?"

"Because if..." he was about to say something, but the door was opened. There was only one person (apart from Merlin) who entered his chambers without knocking. And that was his father. Luckily, Merlin was quick enough to pull back, so that the distance between him and his master looked somewhat normal... Uther just looked at them, a bit surprised before shaking his head.

"A word." he said. Merlin just stood there. "Alone." Merlin hurried out of the room, obviously to get out of Uther's range.

Arthur couldn't just run away from his father. Not that he didn't want to...

"I need to talk to you about Elena." Uther started. _Yep, here we go... _"I realise that this is a delicate situation."

"There is nothing delicate about it."

"Lord Godwyn is, as you know, not only a good friend, but also a strong ally of Camelot."

"I have nothing against lord Godwyn! I have nothing against Elena! Except marriage."

"When we're talking about your future, Arthur, we're not just talking about your personal happiness. But the security of Camelot! You may one day be a husband, but more importantly, you _will _one day be a king!"

"But I have no feelings for her! Whatsoever!"

"Then I will encourage you to find some." his father said, and with that, he left.

Arthur kind of hoped that Merlin would return as soon as he saw the king leave, but he didn't. Poor Merlin was probably scared to death by the thought of the king seeing them together...

The next day, Arthur was going to go on a little trip with Elena. Just out in the woods... You know, a horseback-ride? It was usually nice, he liked doing it with Merlin... Which could be the reason why he did _not _want to go with Elena.

She was (he had to admit) a very good rider. She beat him to the little river, where they stopped to let the horses rest for a bit. Arthur had some kind of a plan. He would do as his father had asked, and when it didn't work, he would tell him, without lying. Yes, that was the

plan. And right now, he was going to try to seduce her... _Heaven help me._

"The real reason you beat me here, was because I stopped to smell the roses." he said, and pulled out a rose, which he had been hiding behind his back.

Arthur handed her the rose. Being romantic was actually something he was very good at. Even though he didn't get the chance to show it much. She just looked at the rose, like she didn't know what to do with it. Seriously, even Merlin would have known what to do. Arthur almost blushed at the thought of giving Merlin a rose. She took the flower, thanked him, sniffed it and sneezed all over Arthur. What the hell was wrong with this woman?

They just stood there, an awkward silence appearing. Arthur just wanted to sink into the ground. He had tried his best, but this just wasn't working. Then, like a gift from the gods. Merlin appeared. "Merlin! What kept you?" he turned around and faced his servant. Merlin just tilted his head and looked so innocent.. Like he always did. "Don't leave me again." Arthur whispered to him. "You were riding so fast!" he looked at Elena, then back at Arthur. "I thought you were eager for some time alone?" he whispered, and looked at the prince. "Nobody likes a clever clogs, Merlin!" Arthur said, and they looked into each other's eyes, and smiled. If only his father would let him alone... If only things were easier... Arthur had to sigh at the thought of being allowed to be with Merlin.

The hours spent with Elena. Hours? Was it hours? Sure it wasn't years or at least months? Well, anyway... They had been the longest hours (years) of his life. When they _finally _returned to Camelot, Arthur thought he was at the end of all the awkward moments. But, oh no, he was wrong.

"Thank you, I had a lovely time." Elena said.

"Me too." Arthur lied. He looked at her, and honestly just wanted to see her disappear. But naturally, she didn't. Instead, she hugged him. It wasn't just a hug, it was like the most awkward freakin' thing ever! Like what the hell? Who the hell hugs like that?! And, on the top of that... She tripped in the stairs.

"My dear..." Merlin said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yes, Merlin... God help me." Arthur answered. He too had a hard time believing that a princess could be like that.

Well, the good thing now was that Arthur had tried to get to know Elena, so he could at least try to talk to his father, without lying. Or, he would be kind of lying.. Or not? He didn't really know how the rules about that was. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't be this much against the wedding if he hadn't been in love with Merlin, but then again... Maybe? Anyway, he wasn't going to tell his father that he was in love with somebody else, of course not! What would he say if he asked who? No, that would just be stupid. He would say that he didn't have any feelings for her. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. Yeah, something like that.

He decided to tell his father over dinner, because then Morgana would be there, and he probably wouldn't be as harsh. So he hoped, at least.

"Father, there is a delicate matter I wish to discuss with you..." he started, but didn't get the chance to finish.

"Your proposal? Excellent! You must make a big deal out of it! Women like that kind of thing, isn't that right, Morgana?"

"I have no idea!" she laughed. "I'm delighted to hear the news."

"I couldn't be more thrilled." Uther said, and it made Arthur even more nervous. He didn't know that he wanted this _so _badly...

"She is a wonderful woman."

"She will make a wonderful wife." Okay, enough. Arthur couldn't listen to it anymore. He wasn't going to marry her!

"No, she won't. Not for me anyway." he said, after a short break. The smile on Uther's face disappeared at the speed of light. "Father! I have tried to get to know Elena, but the truth is, I have no feelings for her! I'm sure she is a wonderful person, but I cannot marry someone who I do not love." Arthur said, and looked beggingly at his father, hoping that he would understand. He did not.

"You can. And you will." he said with a voice that clearly meant that nothing more could be said about this matter, or he was going to explode. Arthur just looked down at his food, too scared to say anything. Yeah, his father was probably the only person in the world who could scare him...

Arthur was sitting in his chambers, on his bed, waiting for Merlin to come and comfort him. Because hell, he really needed it right now. He honestly didn't see a way out of it all. What was he going to do? He could only hope that Merlin had a plan... Even though he was an idiot, he surely didn't want Arthur to marry, right? But... Why wasn't he here? Arthur waited and waited, but his servant never showed up.

Merlin didn't show up until late next morning. Arthur was still in bed, too miserable to get up. He opened his eyes when he felt Merlin's presence. His mood jumped from horrible to alright when he saw his smile.

"Where've you been...?" he asked, still a bit sleepy.

"Eh... Helping Gaius..." Merlin mumbled. Arthur was deep down in his own problems, and didn't bother asking Merlin about it. "How are you feeling?" he said, sitting down on Arthur's bed.

"Like shit."

"Cheer up. It's not that bad. It could have been worse!" Merlin said, trying to smile. But Arthur could see that he was... Sad. That made him feel a bit better, even though it shouldn't. But he liked the thought of Merlin not wanting him to marry. He slowly sat up, still under his sheets. Hell, he wasn't going to leave the bed today.

"How? How exactly could it have been worse?"

"She could be ugly." Merlin said, tilting his head.

"I don't care how she looks, Merlin! I don't want her! I don't want anybody! I only want you for fuck sake!" Arthur said and grabbed Merlin's chin, forcing him down into an angry kiss. Merlin kissed back, softly, stroking Arthur's hair, trying to calm him down.

"You know it can't be, Arthur. We should have known from the beginning. We can't be together... It's just too weird." Merlin said, smiling sadly. Arthur just shook his head.

"I don't accept it! I won't accept it! I _will _be with you." Now it was Merlin's turn to shake his head.

"No. You have to be king. I'll still be around, but... As your servant, nothing more." he pulled away, but Arthur grabbed his hair and pulled him back down.

"You can't do this to me!"

"I'm not doing anything to you!" Merlin hissed from the pain Arthur caused him.

"Yes you are..."

"This isn't my fault! I don't want this anymore than you do."

"Then... We'll leave! We'll leave Camelot!" Arthur said, desperately, still holding on to Merlin's hair so that he wouldn't leave. Merlin just shook his head again.

"You're the future king, Arthur. I don't want you to waste this. You have a destiny, and mine is to be beside you. And I will always be there, even if it is as your servant." Arthur kissed Merlin again. The kiss was hard and violent, as if his life depended on it. Soon, Arthur had dragged Merlin all the way down into his bed.

"I can't do this..." Arthur whispered, tears almost forming in his eyes. Merlin didn't answer, he just layed there on top of Arthur, slowly tracing his fingers through his golden hair.

Arthur didn't see Merlin before the ceremony where he was supposed to propose to lady Elena. Merlin's eyes were sad, but he was smiling bravely, giving Arthur courage to do this. He watched as Elena, his future wife walked toward him. At least she didn't trip... He sighed, took a deep breath and started his speech.

"I am honored to be standing before you today..."

It annoyed Arthur, more than anything that Merlin wasn't around. This was their last day together. Tomorrow was the wedding... What the hell was he doing!? The last time he saw him, he had been walking away with Gaius. He could only hope that they were working on some kind of plan. _Of course they are... _he told himself. It was the only explanation anyway. Hopefully they knew what they were doing...

The next day, was the doomsday. For everyone else, it had another name, or, lots of other names. Wedding day, day of the wedding, the happiest day of the year... And so on... Arthur was scared, honestly. He could feel it coming closer and closer, and there was nothing he could to do prevent it. What the hell was going to happen to him and Merlin? He couldn't be with Merlin once they were married, because that would be a sin, and he wouldn't do that to Elena, who hadn't done him any harm. Arthur kind of felt that she didn't want this either... But, they had no choice. Their fathers had decided this.

Merlin still hadn't showed up. Arthur could have called another servant to help him dress, but he didn't want to. The longer it took, the better, and he didn't want to spend his last moments as a free man with anyone other than Merlin anyway.

Luckily, his missed servant showed up only minutes after. Arthur had been undressing, and was now only dressed in the nice, dark, blue shirt that he would be wearing under his armour. And a pair of brown trousers. He noticed that Merlin was in the room, and turned around.

"So you came..." he said, bitterly.

"I had to get your ceremonial sword." Merlin said, and put the sword on the table.

"Maybe I'll use it to kill myself..." Arthur mumbled. Merlin walked over to him, and without a word he put his arms around him, and hugged him.

"You're stronger than that, Arthur." Merlin said, but Arthur shook his head.

"This is our last minutes together..." he began. "I will use them to the fully." he said, and pushed Merlin up against the wall, kissing him hard.

Merlin moaned softly as Arthur's tongue forced itself into his mouth. Oh, God, how the prince loved the taste of his servant... His hands traveled up his body, and quickly removed the neckerchief. Stupid thing, always in the way... Now that Merlin's white neck was exposed, Arthur took his chance to kiss it, suck it, lick it... Leaving Merlin gasping and pushing himself against Arthur's warm body.

Merlin's neck wasn't enough. Arthur wanted to taste his flesh. He needed more skin... So, he pulled Merlin's brown jacked off, soon to be followed by the blue shirt. His skin was so white... Almost... Angel-like. Arthur kissed his way down from his neck to his chest, leaving a wet trail with his tongue.

"A-Arthur..." Merlin gasped as Arthur's hands started to pull on his pants, wanting them off. "You're getting married in... A few minutes..." he said, trying to get away, but he wanted this just as much as Arthur _needed it._

"I don't care." Arthur said, and pulled his pants off.

He was going to have Merlin now, whatever he said. Even if he would have to hurt him, he would have his way with him... It was his last chance in life.

Arthur's pants and shirt was soon thrown to a distant corner of his room. Arthur didn't care if they got dirty or whatever. They both moaned as their hot bodies pressed against each other. Arthur knew how little time they had, so he didn't waste it.

He flipped Merlin around, so that he was facing the wall, and pushed into him. Merlin couldn't keep the scream back as Arthur forced his way into him.

"Arthur.. It... Hurts..." he moaned, but Arthur didn't listen.

"I need this... Merlin. I need this." Merlin glittered his teeth, and nodded.

"It's alright." me whispered, as Arthur started to move. But, as much as he wanted this, the pain wasn't something that he could just put aside. His eyes were soon filled with tears.

"I'm sorry, Merlin." Arthur said, but continued to thrust brutally into him. He had wanted to do this in a different manner, but when the time was so short...

He continued his pace, waiting for Merlin to finally be free of the pain, and after (way too long) his moans changed from painful to lustful, and Arthur could pick up his speed.

By this time, Arthur was already on the verge of cumming, and he had to keep himself restrained. He wanted Merlin to have some pleasure from this, after all. To speed Merlin's orgasm up, he wrapped his hand around his erection, pumping him hard and fast together with his thrusts.

"Ah... Arthur... So..."

"Close." Arthur finished for him, pressing deeper into him.

"Yeah..." Merlin moaned. Arthur pulled slightly upwards, to get even deeper into his servant. Merlin had to put his hands on the wall to support himself. "I'm gonna..." he moaned as Arthur did it again, and again, and again... Arthur soon couldn't handle himself anymore, and came inside of Merlin, who was pushed over the edge and joined in on the orgasm

Arthur's breath still hadn't slowed down as he walked towards the alter. He was still aroused from his session with Merlin, and his thoughts were clouded with all kinds of weird thoughts. Thoughts about not listening to his father, and turn Elena down at the alter... But, when he saw his father's strict look, he had doubts again.

He stood there, waiting for the lady Elena to arrive, and he thought about how everything would be once they married. He probably wouldn't be able to stay away from Merlin... How could he? There was just no way. He thought about the whole deal about his destiny that Merlin had told him about, that they were two sides of the same coin. Didn't that mean that they were destined to be together? Didn't it? Arthur wasn't sure at all. He didn't want to face his father's fury, but he did _not _want to marry Elena. He didn't want to ever marry! He just wanted to be with Merlin. And why shouldn't he? They were happy together, they loved each other... And the whole destiny thing sort of wrapped them together.

Arthur watched at his future bride walked towards him, together with his future father-in-law. She looked different, like... More elegant. And she wasn't stumbling or tripping, at least that was good. Not that it made any difference... Arthur still hated this whole setup. How the hell could he go through with this?

He looked at Merlin, who was standing next to Gaius, doing his best to look happy. Poor Merlin... He was doing rather good though. He had to keep staying strong...

She had walked all the way up to him now, and Arthur gave her a short smile that said "I don't want to do this.", and she returned it. He held out his hands for her to take, and she did.

"My lords, ladies and gentlemen of Camelot..." the 'priest' started.

Arthur couldn't hear a word of what he said. All he could think of was_; How do I get out of this? How? How? How? How? _"Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?" Arthur mentally panicked. Were they already this far ahead?

"It is." he said, monotony. He asked the same of Elena, and she also said yes.

"Do any say nei?" Arthur hoped, or desperately wished that Merlin would say something, but he didn't. _What the hell am I doing!? This is not Merlin's task! This is mine! _And he manned up as much courage as he could possibly find, before saying;

"Wait."

Everyone looked at him. He could feel his father's eyes burn into him.

"Is there something you would like to say, Arthur?"

"Something I should've said a long time ago... Something from the heart I dare not speak... Elena... You are, a wonderful woman. A beautiful bride. But I cannot deny my feelings." he said. Elena just smiled.

"You do not love me?" Arthur shook his head.

"And I think, if you're honest, you do not love me either."

"No." she said, smiling. Arthur was _so _happy with the way she was taking this. She made it all so much easier.

"Then we are both here out of duty. Can you forgive me?"

"I agree with all you have said. Thank you, Arthur." she said, still smiling.

"What did you think you were doing!?" Uther shouted, furiously as he followed Arthur to his chambers, slamming the door shut.

"The right thing, father." he was prepared to take Uther's rage. He wasn't afraid of him, his words couldn't hurt him that much. And he knew he would have Merlin to comfort him afterwards anyway.

"For who?! For Camelot or for yourself?!"

"The two things aren't entirely separate."

"You put your feelings before your duty, you're clearly not ready to be king!"

"When I'm ready to be king... I'll be a much better king, for the support and strength, of the one I love."

_Thank you for reading this chapter! People asked for smutt, so that's what I threw into this one. I have a really hard time writing smut with characters that aren't my own though, so my smutt-scenes are always so short... I want to write a long one, lol, but... Yeah, I don't know. haha. Anyways, please leave a review or fave/follow._


	15. Chapter 15 Friendship and Loyalty

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 15. - Friendship and Loyalty_

When they received the news of sir Leon and the other knights death's, everybody was struck down. Maybe especially by sir Leon's death. He had been around for so long and always been loyal and brave. Merlin could see that Arthur was sad. Arthur always felt horrible after losing knights or soldiers. They were his friends, his comrades. Merlin had to keep Arthur from doing anything reckless, like going into Cenred's kingdom himself.

Sir Leon's return made everyone at court smiling, except Morgana, of course. But Uther's smile soon disappeared when he got to know how he had been saved. He had been saved by the druids. Arthur knew the druids were a peaceful people, and hoped only that even though sir Leon knew where their hideout was, Uther would not try to pursue them. Sir Leon said that he had been as good as dead, then they had found him and saved him by letting him drink from some sort of cup. This seemed to worry Uther even more. Gaius also looked a bit distressed. According to him, sir Leon had been drinking from the Cup of Life. Merlin overheard it when Gaius and Uther were talking together. Uther wanted the cup. Gaius said that they should leave with it with the druids, seeing as they were a secretive and kind people who would guard the cup well. But, since it lay in Cenred's kingdom, the king was not prepared to take any risks. Merlin thought it was strange, because he thought the cup had been destroyed when he defeated Nimueh at the Isle of the Blessed.

"It cannot be destroyed. Its magic is eternal." Gaius explained.

"But why does Uther fear it so much?"

"Because the cup can be used for evil as well as good."

"I don't understand..."

And Gaius told him the story about the army that had been made immortal by putting a drop of blood in the cup. Merlin just hoped that the cup did not fall into the hands of Morgana, because then, obviously, Camelot would be doomed.

"We have to be careful..." Merlin started and looked at Arthur who nodded. "We cannot let Morgana know about the Cup of Life. I don't know if she knows its powers." Merlin had just told Arthur about it, making sure they weren't overheard.

"I don't think she does."

"Never the less, she could tell Morgause, surely, she knows."

"Yes... But Morgana don't know where it is, only sir Leon does."

"But he has told you, hasn't he?"

"Yes, he told both me and my father."

"Your father means to get the cup before it falls into Cenred's hands." Merlin said, pacing the room. He didn't like where this was going, not at all.  
"I know..."

"And, that means... You will probably be sent to get it."

"Yes? So?"

"So? Don't you know what happened to the last patrol that entered Cenred's kingdom? They were all killed! Everyone... Except for sir Leon, who only survived because he was lucky."

"Don't worry so much Merlin, I haven't even gotten any orders yet." Arthur said and smiled. He grabbed Merlin's hand to stop him from pacing. "It'll be alright." he said, still smiling. Merlin just sighed, hoping he was right.

A few seconds later, someone knocked on the door. Arthur quickly let go of Merlin's hand, before allowing the person to enter.  
"The king requests your presence." a guard said, and nodded his head in the direction where the king was. Arthur nodded, gave Merlin a 'this is going to be alright'-look and left the room.

"You called for me, father." he said when he saw Uther standing in the lonely hallway.

"Cenred is our sworn enemy, we cannot risk him getting his hands on the Cup of Life." Uther said in one breath and looked worried at his son.

"I know, father."

"You must retrieve it." that was the order, and Arthur felt a bit bad for Merlin. His fears were true then, after all. "Your mission must remain secret, you must tell no one of this." Arthur looked around, he could not see Morgana anywhere.

"I will take only my most trusted men."

"You saw what happened to the last patrol that entered Cenred's lands." Wow, almost the same as what Merlin had said. Well, it was nice knowing that his father worried about him. "You must go alone." _What? _How was going alone going to help?

"I'm sorry to place such a burden on you, but there is no one else I can trust." Ah, so his father trusted him. That was even better than worrying... Right?

"I understand, father." he said and turned around, walking back to his chambers. He was going to do what he had been told not to do. He was obviously going to bring Merlin, and tell him all about it. He trusted Merlin, even if his father didn't. He would intrust Merlin with his life. With anyones life.

"We're going to Cenred's kingdom, aren't we?" Merlin said the moment he came back to his chambers.

"Yeah." Arthur said, and sighed. "This is a really secret mission, Merlin, you must tell no one about it. You understand?" Merlin nodded.

"Morgana didn't hear you, did she?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! No one was there!" Arthur said, a bit annoyed because Merlin didn't trust him as much as he trusted him. But then again, Morgana overhearing their conversation was something that could cost them both their lives.

They were leaving at sunrise. Merlin had packed both his own things and Arthur's, making sure that none of it was marked by the Crest of Camelot. They were going 'undercover'. It made it seem like some sort of book, and Merlin almost found it a bit amusing. Hadn't it been for the fact that, statistically speaking they were both definitely going to die. But, then again, they had Arthur's fighting skills, and Merlin's magic. What could possibly go wrong? At least, that's what Merlin told himself.

They were almost in Cenred's kingdom now, enjoying the last minutes of talking. They should've been quiet, but it was hard to be quiet when you were riding with your best friend. Most of the talking was Merlin worrying about something, and Arthur trying to calm him down. None of them could do anything when they were hit by poisoned arrows, and fainted.

Merlin woke up in a... What was it? Prison? A small room with about a dozen other men. Arthur helped him to his feet.

"Where are we?" Merlin asked, but didn't get an answer. Someone put his hand on Arthur's arm.

"Touch me again, and you die." Arthur said, warningly, turning around. The one placing his hand on Arthur was none other than their friend Gwaine. He had saved Arthur's life once, no... Wasn't it twice? He had helped them on the quest in the Parales Lands. He was a very good friend, at least of Merlin.

"Gwaine!"

"No manners you royals!" Gwaine laughed and walked up to Merlin.

"Merlin, my friend you look terrible." Merlin smiled and hugged Gwaine.

"Likewise."

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked.

"Well you know, wrong place, wrong time, wrong drink." Classic Gwaine reason then, Merlin thought and smiled. It felt better to have him here. Because, you know... He was a very skilled warrior. Even though he was a very dear friend, he did not know about Merlin's magic. Merlin wasn't quite sure if he should tell him or not. He trusted him, that was for sure. But, even so. The more people who knew, the greater the chance of him being discovered.

"Nothing's changed there then." Arthur said, also smiling.

"That's just fair!"

"Where exactly are we?"

"In Balanor's old castle, belongs to someone named Jar." Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

"Never heard of him."

"Slave trader." Gwaine explained. At least they weren't captured by Cenred. Merlin didn't really know if this Jar was a better man though...

"We're going to be sold as slaves?" Merlin asked, but Gwaine didn't get the chance to reply. A man dressed in a furry coat appeared, looking down on them from where he stood. Judging by how he was dressed, Merlin could only guess that this was Jar.

"Which one of you have the guts to face my champion." he asked. Nobody answered. "No volunteers? Then I guess I'll just have to pick one of you myself." he paused for a second, then he said "you." Merlin thought for a moment that their eyes had met. He looked around and saw that nobody was standing near him.

"Me?"

"Death or glory boy, you should be honored." Merlin looked around for an escape. But none was to be found.

"Who is this so-called champion? Can he crush nothing but weaklings like this?" Arthur said. Merlin didn't want him to take his place... But then again, Arthur stood a way better chance of surviving.

"You think you could offer a better contest?" Jar asked.

"I guarantee it."

"Very well then. But, if you lose... I'll feed your little friend here to the crows, piece by piece." he said, warningly. Arthur wasn't afraid. He believed in his own fighting ability. And so did Merlin, that was, before they knew who the champion was. "Are you ready my champion?" Jar said, and to their surprise, it was Gwaine who answered.

"I am."

Merlin, Arthur and Gwaine was escorted to a room full of laughing bandits, who apparantly were Jar's people. Merlin assumed that they had brought him so that they could kill him quickly after Arthur's loss. They thought that Arthur would lose. Merlin had been sure that Arthur was going to win. But then again, none of them wanted to kill each other.

"The rules are simple; one man lives, and one man dies." Jar explained. "If you cannot, or won't finish off your opponent. I'll kill you both." He threw two swords on the ground. Merlin tried to fight his way free, but the man holding him was much stronger than him. He thought about using magic, but how? They were too many, even for him. "Let battle commence!" Jar yelled. Arthur and Gwaine slowly picked up their swords.

Gwaine suddenly took a swing at Arthur, who barely escaped, surprised by the strength he put into it. Merlin didn't know why they fought so seriously... Perhaps they wanted it to look real? And it really did... If Merlin hadn't known they were friends, he would have thought they were actually trying to kill each other. But they weren't... Were they?

They soon landed on the floor, using their bare hands to fight each other. Merlin couldn't see what was going on, because of the crowd that had surrounded them. But, he knew that Arthur was on top, probably trying to strangle Gwaine. He didn't want either of them to get hurt, so, with magic he lit up a torch, causing a net that decorated the ceiling to catch on fire. People panicked, and the man who had been holding Merlin let go and ran for his life. Arthur and Gwaine soon got their feet and together with Merlin they ran out of the castle.

"That's a place I'm not gonna be in a hurry to see again." Gwaine said, trying to catch his breath. They had ran to 'safety', putting a great amount of distance between them and the castle.

"Just stay out of trouble then." Arthur said.

"I can say the same to you. You must have done something to end up in a hole like that."

"We're on a quest..." Arthur said, hesitating. He obviously wasn't sure whether or not to tell Gwaine about what the quest was about. To Merlin, that wasn't a question at all.

"We're looking for the Cup of Life." he said. Gwaine just blinked and looked at him, not really understanding what the Cup of Life was.

"Merlin! What part of 'secret' did you not understand?"

"But... It's Gwaine!" Arthur just sighed and was about to say something, but Gwaine interrupted.

"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! It seems, that, whatever it is that you're after... You could use some help." Arthur hesitated, again, but then nodded. Merlin felt relieved. Having Gwaine with them surely gave them a better chance of making it.

They had walked the whole day. That was one of the bad things about being captured. They had lost their horses. It was a long walk, but finally, at nightfall they reached the cave where, according to sir Leon, the druids lived.

The druids knew what they were there for. And, without any means of resistance, they gave the cup to Arthur. But, as they were leaving, one of the druids spoke to Merlin inside his head.

"Emrys... The cup is in your hands now. Guard it well. The future of this land depends on it" Merlin only nodded and followed Gwaine and Arthur.

They should have known that walking back to Camelot was a fools errand. There was just no way in hell they could make it. And, quite right. Just as they had begun to relax (they were at the border to Camelot after all) they were attacked.

As soon as they saw the soldiers running towards them, Arthur yelled "Run!" and they all split up, taking different directions so that it would be harder to catch them. Merlin didn't run too far away from Arthur though. He had to protect him and the cup.

Merlin could see from the corner of his eye that Arthur was hit by an arrow from a crossbow. He didn't see quite where the arrow hit him, but assumed it had hit him somewhere in his leg. Hopefully not a deadly wound. But, the soldier still got a hold on the cup. Merlin threw him backwards with the use of magic, but the soldier tossed the cup high up in the air. Merlin tried to catch it, but it landed on the ground and rolled down a little hillside, and straight into the arms of some other soldiers, who quickly ran away.

"Merlin!" he heard Gwaine call. He couldn't save the cup now anyway, he had to hurry back to Arthur and see if he was alright. He wasn't. The arrow had been poisoned, and because it had hit an artery in his thigh, the poison had spread through his body.

It was almost nighttime, and Arthur was shivering like hell. He had spiked a fever, and looked really sick. Merlin took of his jacket and wrapped it around Arthur, in hope to keep him at least a little warmer. He didn't think about himself right now, even though the nights in the forest are wet and cold.

"I don't get it... Why all this fuss over a cup?" Gwaine said, hoping for an explanation.

"Because, in the wrong hands it can become a terrible weapon."

"Not so great Cenred's got it then."

"It's worse than you could possibly imagine."

Merlin wanted to try to heal Arthur with magic. But, he didn't want to do it in front of Gwaine. He was supposed to keep his magic a secret.

"We need more firewood." he said, trying to imply that Gwaine should go and get some.

"You're right about that."

"You wanna go and get some?"

"Not really, thanks for asking."

"There's wolves out there... Bears... Bulls..."

"Exactly."

"I'm not a warrior, I can't defend myself like you."

"Never too late to learn." _Seriously? _"Merlin? Don't you know when someone's joking with you?" Gwaine said with a small laugh. "If I die collecting firewood, keep it to yourself. I have a reputation to keep." and with that, he got up and left.

Merlin hurried to kneel beside Arthur, and tried some different healing-spells. But none of them worked. Even though Merlin had actually practised someone. He cursed himself for being so bad at this. Always, freaking always when Arthur was wounded, his magic was useless... He put his hand on his forehead. _Shit, he is burning up..._

The next day, however, Arthur did look a bit better. He woke both Merlin and Gwaine up by yelling for the cup.

"Where is the cup?!"

"Cenred's men took it."

"Then what are we still doing here?!" Merlin sighed. _Stupid prince..._

"You were unconscious."

"Always an excuse, Merlin!" Arthur said, and got to his feet. That, apparently, hurt terrible, and Merlin had to grab him so that he wouldn't fall over again. Gwaine also helped out. "We have to get back to Camelot before it's too late." Arthur ordered. They couldn't travel very fast though, because Arthur was limping, and from time to time he had to lean on either Merlin or Gwaine (or both).

They all feared that they were too late. They could see smoke rising from villages that laid near Camelot. Or... Near... About a day's march from Camelot. At least they were in their own lands now.

It wasn't before they found the patrol that they really began to worry. About a duzin knights were laying dead on the ground.

"Not a single enemy body." Merlin stated.

"He's right, this wasn't a fight, this was a slaughter..." Arthur mumbled through his teeth. He didn't want to believe that he had lost even more knights.

"Who could have done such a thing?" Gwaine asked, not believing his eyes. He knew how skilled the knights were, and to think that they hadn't managed to kill a single enemy.. Arthur soon said what both him and Merlin were thinking.

"An army of men that cannot die."

They left, with a bit higher speed than what they had had. Obviously, Arthur was anxious to get back to Camelot. Merlin was too, of course. He was worried about Gaius...

When they had finally gotten over the last hill, so that they could see Camelot, their fears were confirmed. Smoke was rising from the castle... The city had fallen... Arthur could only hope that not all was lost. Maybe only the lower town? But, he actually doubted it.

At the city gate, more knights and soldiers lay. Arthur forced himself to look away from the horrible sight of their bleeding, dead bodies.

"They never stood a chance." he said. Merlin wanted to take his hand... To comfort him and let him know that all might not be lost. But, he couldn't, because of Gwaine. Despite that, he was glad to have his friend there.

The first place they could think of to go, was Gwen's house. Maybe she knew what had happened. And, they all wanted her to be alive, so checking that was a high priority anyway. The door was locked from the inside, so that was a good sign. Gwaine kicked in the door, and all three of them entered.

The house seemed empty. It was dark, and no signs of movements anywhere. They were all almost startled to death when Elyan, Gwen's older brother jumped out from the shadows with his sword prepared to fight.

"Elyan!" Merlin yelled to stop him from attacking.

"I'm sorry." he said, lowering his sword and backing away from Arthur, who he had attempted to ambush.

"Where is everyone?" Arthur asked.

"I thought that..." he mumbled.

"Elyan, please. What happened?"

"They came out of nowhere. A mighty army. Our weapons were useless against them. They were men, sire, but not men... Nothing could kill them. Nothing." Elyan was a brave man, but Merlin could see the fear in his eyes as he spoke of the immortal soldiers.

"Where is your sister? Where is Gwen?" Merlin asked.

"She was in the city-town when they attacked."

"There is still hope." Arthur said, relieved.

"Sire... The city-town has been taken."

They now continued on the four of them. They had managed to sneak into the castle, but now, Arthur looked worse than ever. His limping was becoming intolerable for Merlin to watch, and it now looked like the fever was back.  
"Now we..."

"Arthur! You can't go on." Merlin said, determined.

"We must... We must find the others."

"You can't go on, not without treatment."

"But, my father and the knights..."

"Elyan, do you know the way to the dungeons?" Merlin interrupted.  
"Yes, I think so."

"Go with Gwaine, see if you can find them." they hurried away.

"I'm going with them." Arthur started, but Merlin grabbed him and dragged him towards the pharmacy.

"No, you're not."

"That's an order, Merlin."  
"Damn orders, you're coming with me." he had to heal Arthur. He looked like he was about to collapse, and that most certainly would not help anyone.

In the pharmacy, they found the person that Merlin wanted to see the most right now. Gaius. He instantly got to healing Arthur, and Merlin went up to his room to pack his things. He knew they had to leave Camelot.

When he got back, Arthur was standing, looking way better. Gwaine and Elyan came running into the room.

"The king, sire! He is alive! They are taking him to the throne room as we speak." Elyan said.

"This may be my last chance." Arthur said, grabbing his sword.

"Arthur, there's too many of them..." Merlin started, but Arthur cut him off.

"I won't leave my father to die here alone." "Gwaine, Elyan, take Gaius and make your way to the forest beyond the castle. There we'll meet again." Gaius, Gwaine and Elyan all nodded and hurried out of the room.

Arthur turned to Merlin, hesitating for a moment.

"Merlin, you should go with them." he said, after a few seconds of thinking. The most important thing was to keep Merlin safe.

"Nah, I've seen the woods already." Merlin said. God, how much he fucking loved his servant for wanting to stay beside him, even at this dark hour... He couldn't help but lean in to kiss Merlin hard and passionate. They hadn't got the chance to do that in a while, so that made it feel even better.

After looking into each other's eyes for a split second, they made their way to the balcony over the throne-room, which was more like a hall than a room. From the balcony, they crawled far enough so that they could see everything that was going on underneath them. Arthur could see Morgause and his father.

"Well Uther... How the mighty have fallen." she said, smiling. Arthur wanted to get down there and slay them all! But, Merlin grabbed his hand and held it.

"Don't." he whispered, stroking his thumb over it, trying to calm him down. Merlin's hand was warm...

"I don't think you'll be needing this anymore." Morgause said, and took the crown off of the king's head.

"You cannot do this! You have no right to the throne!" Uther yelled.

"No, she does not..." a voice said, and Morgana suddenly entered from one of the side-doors. "But I do..." she said, smiling a devious smile. "I am your daughter after all." she spat. Arthur couldn't believe what he was hearing... Merlin's hand squeezed tighter around his. Arthur could feel a huge rage building up inside of him... She was his sister!? Then why the hell would she do something like this!? "Don't look so surprised... I've known for quite some time." and with those words, Morgana sat down on the throne, and Geoffrey, the genealogist put a crown on her head.

"By the power vested in me, I crown the, Morgana Pendragon queen of Camelot. Uther was forced down to kneel at her feet, and she sat there, smiling the smile of a witch.

_Alright. I honestly never wanted to do this episode, or the next three ones I have planned, because there isn't much room for slash in them... But they're kind of vital to the story, so I just have to do them. Yeah, whatever. Thank you for reading this chapter and sorry for taking so long to update and stuff. Please fave, follow or review! Also, I would like to thank you all for the 9000+ views that I got in October. And, this story now has over 50 followers! Thank you all so much for that! Hopefully the number will just keep on rising for the next chapters too! Yey! :D Oh, and I just fond out that I've been writing Cenrid, instead of Cenred, fml. Have to edit that out, yeah, yeah. _


	16. Chapter 16 A New Time

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 16. - A New Time_

Merlin honestly never thought he would ever live in a cave, but that was the case right now. He lived there together with Arthur, Gaius, Gwaine and Elyan. Not that anybody noticed that Arthur was around. All he did was sit in a corner, staring straight ahead. He didn't speak to anyone, nor eat. Sometimes he would accept a bottle of water if Merlin held it in front of him, but that was rarely. The same could not be said for Merlin. He risked his life daily to get them supplies of food, water and other things they needed. Lately, more and more of Morgana's men had been showing up, and going outside was dangerous. Not only to the person doing so, but for everyone, because one could be followed and then their hideout would be discovered.

Merlin knew they had to do something. He had already sent word to Lancelot, a close friend of both him and Arthur. Lancelot was the third person who knew he had magic. He had gotten to know long before Arthur, but Merlin had never told him that. Anyway, doing something wasn't easy when the prince (or was he king now? Uther could be dead for all they knew) just sat there, staring into the shadows. Merlin tried, every day to get him to eat, and talk to him. But, it was like talking to a statue.

He kneeled in front of him, holding out a bowl with food. The prince hadn't eaten for days... He was beginning to look unhealthy... Merlin just wanted him to be okay. He wanted to cheer him up, but he couldn't actually do that in the way he wanted when they weren't alone.

"It's rat." Merlin said with a small smile, referring to the time they made Morgana eat rat-stew. Arthur gave him a short glare, before his eyes went back to their old resting point.

"I have definitely served you worse, no doubt. I have made you things that I would never touch, but you shoved them down, no proble-"

"Merlin, for once, leave me in peace, please." it was the first thing he had said for days. So, the humoristic-way did not work... Merlin would have to talk to him in a different manner then.

He put the bowl down next to Arthur, and tried to come up with something to say.

"I understand. Your father lied to you about Morgana. I don't know why, I'm sure he had his reasons... But now is not the time for that. He is still your father, he needs you. Camelot needs you." he said. First he got no response, but then Arthur slowly shook his head.

"I have known her all my life... I knew that she was... On a bad path, but... How could she do this to us?"

"I can't answer that, but you still have a duty to your father, and to your people. You can't give up on them now.

"We cannot defeat an army of immortals."

"We don't know, until we try."

Arthur just shook his head. But, Merlin did not give up. He had gotten the prince to talk, that was really something. He sat down beside Arthur. A bit too close, maybe, but it still wasn't that wrong. It was really dark where they sat, nobody could see it anyway... So, Merlin grabbed his hand. It was cold. No wonder, it had been on the ice-cold stone-floor for ages. Arthur turned to Merlin.

"The other's will see, let go." he whispered and tried to pull his hand away. But Merlin didn't let go.

"We need you Arthur, please."

"Let go!"

"We need you... I need you... Please." Merlin said, beggingly and looked at his master. Arthur stopped struggling, his gaze fell to the ground and he did something that Merlin could believe was a nod. Merlin smiled and let go of his hand, slowly. He couldn't risk the other's seeing, after all. When he walked away from the prince, he could see him picking up the bowl and start eating. Yes, this was definitely going in the right direction.

Merlin knew what they had to do, or, what he had to do... Gaius had told him that the cup needed to be emptied of the blood it contained. But how to get to the cup, when it was guarded by an immortal army, now that was something entirely different... It was at this moment he thought of the bottle of water from the lake of Avelon that he had gotten from the Fisher King when he, Arthur and Gwaine had been on a quest together. He had said to Merlin that in Camelot's darkest hour, when all seemed lost, this would show him the way.

So with that, Merlin had spent hours trying to enchant the bottle to give him some clues. But, the water remained just as green-ish and still as it was. Doing magic inside the cave was kind of risky, but in the darkness, where he sat, it wasn't that bad. However, none of his enchantments worked. He soon fell asleep, holding the bottle in his hand.

He woke up when Gwaine walked past him, stumbling over him.

"Sorry, nature calls." he said and hurried outside. The glass had slipped out of Merlin's soft grip, and was now shattered into a million pieces, the precious water leaking out unto the ground, forming a tiny, tiny pit.

Merlin looked into the water, and the old fisher king who had given him the bottle was looking back. First, he was startled, but the fisher king smiled friendly.

"I have little time, but I will tell you what you need to do, as promised. The blade that was forged in the dragon's breath have the power to kill the undead. And the army which you are facing, are undead, having sold their soul. You know where this sword is to be found, with its power, you will bring the rightful king back to his throne." the king said, before he disappeared. Merlin just blinked for a few moments, then he smiled. He now knew what to do! The blade was... _oh fuck. _It was at the bottom of the lake of Avelon. Seriously, at the goddamn _bottom. _But, Merlin was sure that if he got there, he would be able to get the sword. He had magic after all. But, getting there was something entirely different... It was miles away. But, wasn't he the last _Dragonlord?_

With a smile he made his way out of the cave, heading for a field big enough for him to summon the dragon. It came only minutes after being called.

"I have to cross 20 miles of hostile territory, I need you to take me." he ordered.

"I am not a horse Merlin."

"If you do not, then Morgana would have won. Unless that's what you want..."

"My allegiance has never been with the witch."

"I know... But, is it with me?" Merlin said, hesitating. The dragon had tried to destroy Camelot after all, even though he had helped Merlin countless of times. Stupid dragon...

"Yes, young warlock, it is with you." and with that, he was flown away on the dragon's back, heading for the lake of Avelon.

Merlin climbed off the dragon, and looked at the lake, trying to find out how the hell to get the blade out. He hadn't seen this place in quite some time. It was really beautiful... He and Arthur should go here sometime. Together.

"Thank you." he said to the dragon, not turning his gaze away from the lake.

"I warned you before, Merlin, that in the wrong hands this weapon can do great evil. You must promise me that when its task is done, you will place it where none can wield it." Merlin nodded.

"I promise." He knew it was the right thing to do anyway. He didn't want any more trouble like they had gotten with the Cup of Life. Weapons falling into enemy hands was something that happened way too often in Merlin's opinion.

Merlin didn't really know what to do. He remembered that he had thrown the blade as far as he could, and it had to be on the freaking bottom of the lake... But, when he looked down where the water was more sallow, he could see something laying there, shining. It was the blade. Unbelievable. Why was it there? It couldn't exactly have moved on its own... But, Merlin didn't really care. He just picked up the blade, holding it in his hands. He was now ready to fight an immortal army. _(And he was feeling totally badass)._

Merlin had just gotten back. For some reason, the cave was empty. Well, except for Gaius sleeping in one of the corners. The others were probably out gathering supplies or something. The odd thing was to not find Arthur in his usual place. Merlin had just managed to hide the sword when Arthur entered the cave.

"Having a little lie-down, Merlin?" he said, referring to Merlin being on his knees.

"No?"

"Good. Cause the time for sleeping is over." Merlin got up and looked at the prince. He looked way better than he had for days.

"You seem better."

"You are hopeless at a lot of things, Merlin, most things, actually, but, sometimes... Quite occasionally, by accident, you say something useful."

"Really?" Merlin said with a small smile.

"Yesterday... Amongst all your gibberish you said something that... If I didn't know you... I'd be completely fooled into thinking you were..."

"What?"

"Wise." Merlin thought about it for a moment. It was kind of funny for Arthur to say something like that, being the prat that he was.

"Nah." Merlin said, and they both laughed.

They suddenly heard noises outside, and hurried to see what was going on. Gwaine was already there, with his swords drawn, ready for any battle. They could see two people running towards them... Was it? Merlin really thought one of them looked like Gwen? When they came closer, they could see that it was Gwen and sir Leon. Merlin was happy to see both of them, and Arthur was too. He gave Gwen a friendly look, and shook sir Leon's hand. Merlin could understand that he was happy to see one of his knights again. But, the joy didn't last for long, as Elyan came running, shouting that they had been found.

"They're almost upon us!"

"Go get Gaius! We need to get out of here!" Arthur said to Merlin, who ran into the cave again to get Gaius, and the sword. Heaven forbid that that should be forgotten.

"They've found us, we need to go!"

"I'll just slow you down." Gaius said. "It's Arthur you need to protect. Go!"

"I won't leave you!" Merlin yelled.

"Camelot needs you..."

"Camelot needs us both! Now go! I'll be right behind you." Gaius hurried out of the cave, and Merlin followed him, right after getting the sword.

On his way out, he was attacked by one of Morgana's men. The blade soon proved its use. The moment it touched the soldier, he exploded, and all that was left was ash. Merlin thought it looked awful, and hoped that he would never find himself in that position.

Merlin caught up to the group not long after. But by then... Two more people had joined. Merlin could see that one of them was Lancelot. The other man, he didn't know.

"What are you doing here?" he could hear Arthur say, in a friendly manner, of course.

"It was me. I sent for him." Merlin explained. The other man introduced himself as Percival.

They now had to find a new hideout. And Arthur knew just the place. He led the group of now nine people to a little, abandoned castle. It had belonged to the ancient kings, Arthur told them as they entered. It was dark, and they had to use torches to even see where they were going. Merlin could see lots of spiderwebs and the place was probably full of spiders...

"It'll do for a while." Arthur said.

"It can't be worse than that cave." Elyan stated, everyone agreed.

"Search the place, see what you can find." the prince ordered, and everyone spread out.

The castle, or, the room where they had decided to use soon didn't look too bad. They has lit up all the candles, and made a fire. Gwaine had found some weapons, and the spirit was quite high for their situation.

Arthur took away a piece of cloth that was placed over something... Was it a... Round table?

"Come and join me." the prince said, and everyone did, sitting down on the chairs that surrounded it. Merlin sat on Arthur's right side, feeling like his right hand... Kind of. On his other side was Gwaine. Arthur got up when everyone was seated.

"This table belonged to the ancient kings of Camelot. A round table afforded no man more importance than any other. They believed in equality in all things. So it seems fitting that... We revive this tradition now. Without each of you..." Arthur gave Merlin a small smile. "We would not be here. My father has languished in prison for too long. Tomorrow, I make my bit to rescue him. Are there any around this table who will join me?" Arthur said, and looked at everyone, resting his eyes on Merlin at the end.

Merlin got up at once.

"I'm happy to be your servant, and follow you. 'Til the day I die." he said, and smiled. Arthur smiled back, and for a moment, it was as if they were alone again.

The second who got up was Lancelot.

"You taught me the values of being a knight. The code, by which a man should live his life. To fight with honor, for justice, freedom, and all that's good. I believe in the world that you will build."

The third was Elyan.

"I will fight alongside you, and if I die, it would be with honor."

The fourth was sir Leon.

"I have fought by your side many times. There is no one that I would rather die for."

"I think we have no chance." Gwaine said, with a smile, and got up. "But I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Percival got up too.

"Your enemies are my enemies."

Then Gaius.

"If you need an old man."

And Gwen.

"You know the answer."

Now they were all standing around the table, looking at each other with hope in their eyes. As if this gave them strength for what they were going to do.

"I want to thank you all for staying loyal to me, in Camelot's hour of need. I'll do something that my father won't approve of." And with that, he knighted Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival.

It had always been Lancelot's dream to become a knight of Camelot, and Merlin was really happy for him. He just hoped that they would all survive...

The next day, they had made a plan. The plan was to _not _let them raise the alarm-clock. Merlin and Lancelot was going to take out the warning-bell. At least, that was that they had told Arthur. But in secret, they had another plan. Because Merlin didn't want Arthur to know about the blade (because he knew that he wouldn't want to give it up once he had used it), he had entrusted his secret to Lancelot. The only other person who knew about their plan was Gaius, who had overheard them talking.

When they had entered the castle (God knows how), they split up. Arthur, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival was going to the cells to try to free the king and the knights. Lancelot and Merlin was going to take out the warning bell. Of course, that wasn't the real plan. They were going to empty the cup of the blood it contained. Another reason why Merlin didn't want Arthur to come with him, was because he knew that this was the most dangerous job. He didn't want to risk Arthur's life. Not that it wasn't at risk now...

Luckily, Merlin could sense the power from the cup, and knew which way to go. Lancelot only followed him. Unfortunately, they were soon discovered. Lancelot drew his blade at once, not that it would help. But, it was only one man, and as soon as Merlin saw an opening, he killed him. Lancelot looked at the blade with wonder.

"What is that?"  
"A blade forged in the dragon's breath." Merlin explained. The knight looked at Merlin, his eyes filled with respect.

Not longer after that, they managed to get into the room where Merlin could sense the magic from the cup. They closed the door behind them and sealed it. They had had to fight their way in, and there was still men outside, trying to get in. Merlin was so glad Lancelot was there. Even though he couldn't kill anyone, he could still keep them away. Merlin wouldn't be able to fight more than one at a time. He wasn't a warrior after all.

The moment they turned around to see what was actually in the room they had entered, six guards drew their swords and came towards them. But, they were the only thing standing between Merlin, and the cup. He knew he had to hurry. Every minute that went by, Arthur was risking his life, fighting immortal soldiers. Hopefully, they hadn't been found yet.

Things were not looking too good. Lancelot was now injured, having received a blow to his shoulder. Luckily, it was only one enemy left, and with a bit of luck, Merlin managed to kill him. He had to hurry! Empty the cup while he had the chance!

He ran towards it, but just as he was about to tip it over, he was thrown into the stone wall by Morgause, who entered the room.

"I have a feeling I won't be seeing you again." she said and raised her hand, ready to use a killing-charm on Merlin.

"No, you won't." Merlin suddenly heard a voice say. It was Gaius. And, with magic, he threw her backwards. She got up, quickly, and was about to kill Gaius instead, but Merlin stopped her, using magic on her. She hit her head hard, and was taken out.

"Merlin! The cup!" Gaius yelled, and Merlin got to his feet. With the blade he hit the cup, and it fell over. All the blood was spilled on the floor, and the enchantment was broken.

Merlin sighed, and was just about to relax when he heard a scream.

"NO!" it was Morgana who came running, and knelt down next to Morgause. "Sister?" she said, lifting her head up. But Morgause did not answer.

"It's over, Morgana." Merlin sighed.

"No! You're wrong! This has just begun!" she spat, furiously. She was crying, and soon she screamed out in frustration. As the horrible sound of her scream reached Merlin's ears, the ceiling started falling apart. The glass in the window was shattered into a million pieces. Merlin and Gaius hurried to safety, afraid of something hitting their heads. Merlin helped Lancelot to his feet, and they left Morgana.

Everything was over now, finally. Arthur and Merlin was sitting in the stairs, outside, just enjoying the whole "peace"-situation. Merlin had told Arthur about what he and Lancelot had done, leaving out nothing but the sword. He had done as the dragon asked, and placed the sword deep in the forest. He had used magic to place it deep inside a stone, so that nobody could ever get it out.

He told Arthur that he had used magic to knock out the guard, it wasn't a complete lie after all. Apparently, the hostile soldiers had all died the moment Merlin emptied the cup. Well, Merlin was just happy everything was over.

"How is your father?" Merlin asked, looking at the prince.

"I don't know... All this... Morgana... It has hit him hard."

"Perhaps we're heading for a new time. You may have to take charge... Become... Become king." They looked at each other, and Arthur smiled.

"As long as you'll be there with me."

"As your servant, always." Merlin said, smiling.

"I don't know about that, Merlin... Who knows what the future might bring." Merlin's heart skipped a beat at that, but he kept his face serious, only smiling slightly. Had they been in a more private place, they probably would have been doing way more than just sitting here. Arthur looked around, and saw nobody who were paying attention to them. He gave Merlin a really small, quick kiss on his cheekbone. Merlin blushed slightly, but smiled. God, he loved the prince so much...

_Alright! Thank you for reading this chapter, and sorry for taking so long. I don't really like these last two chapters, because there is way too little slash, lol. But, anyways, please review/fave/follow. :D_


	17. Chapter 17 Darker Days

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 17. - Darker Days_

It had been a year since the incident with Morgana. A year was a long time, and everyone had recovered from the trauma and disappointment over Morgana. Well, everyone except the king. His spirit was broken. He would sit in his chambers all day, hardly ever eat or drink, and never say a word to anyone. Merlin could understand him, in a way. And, even though Uther really was a terrible tyrant, he felt sorry for him. Mostly because it bothered Arthur.

Even though the king's mind was a dark cloud, the same could not be said about the current state of the castle. In Merlin's opinion, it had never been more lively. They were preparing for the annual feast, a feast to honor the dead. It was at the same day every year. So, Merlin felt it a bit weird that everyone was so cheerful. Oh, well, never mind that. He was just happy that all the dark days were over. And that things were slowly going back to normal. Of course, things would never be as they were. Actually, Merlin thought everything was better now. He had more friends in the castle, seeing as both Lancelot and Gwaine were knights.

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers, to find the prince already dressed. He put his newly-cleaned shirt down and saw that the prince was already dressed.

"You're dressed!" he said, stating the obvious as he often did.

"Yes, Merlin. I'm not an idiot." he answered, sitting down in his chair. Merlin walked over to him and straightened his shirt, so that he would look like a prince who actually _knew _how to dress himself.

"Of course you aren't." he teased, and fixed Arthur's hair so that it didn't look like a nest.

"Merlin, I'm trying to write a speech..." Arthur said and tried to get away from Merlin's way too eager hands.

"Do you want help?"

"No..." Arthur said, hesitating only a little bit, but, enough for Merlin to pick up.

"So, you don't want this then...?" he asked, pulling up a roll of parchment. "I spent all night working on it." he said, waving it in front of Arthur's eyes, trying to tempt him. Arthur grabbed it and read through the first lines.

"Need a polishing touch." he said and handed it back to Merlin.

"Added to the list." Merlin said, bowing deeply, just as a joke, of course.

"Merlin, you know, there aren't many servants who gets to write the prince's speech, would it be too much for you to say thank you?" Arthur said, sighting. Merlin just laughed and bowed again.

"Thank you so much for giving me more work to do when I have plenty as it is." he said with a smile. Arthur got up and pushed him into the bed, tickling him.  
"I'll give you stuff to do!" Merlin was way more ticklish than you'd expect (of course Arthur knew), so it didn't take long before he laid there, laughing so hard he couldn't even breath. Yeah, things were definitely better than they had been for months.

But, the good mood in the castle was broken by none other than sir Leon and sir Elyan. They had been on a patrol together with two other knights (the two others were dead) to see if the rumours about Morgana were true. They hadn't heard anything about her for months, but now, suddenly something had changed... She was heading for the isle of the blessed. Merlin didn't really like the sound of that. He had been there, and knew what kind of power that place held. Also, the news of dead knights was always a sad one to get.

Even though Arthur wasn't really king yet, he still sort of ruled Camelot. Well, not all by himself. He received great help from his uncle, Agravaine. Merlin was happy that he had an older relative there for guidance, and so was Arthur.

The feast had started, and Merlin was listening (like everyone else) to his own speech being held by the prince. The king was not there to join them. It was a pretty good speech, Merlin thought. They had practised it together, until Arthur knew everything by heart. He was way better at than Merlin knew. It was a nice skill as a future king. He would probably have to hold many speeches in his life.

The speech ended with everyone raising their glasses in a big cheers to the king. Merlin was about to do it to, but then everything just... Kind of stopped. Everything suddenly went in slow-motion. He hadn't enchanted any spells, but still the world stood almost still. And then, the screams started. It didn't seem like anybody else could hear them. But they were there. Thousand screams of tortured people who were dead a long time ago. Their horrible cries made Merlin cold deep down in his soul, and then he saw her.

She was standing in the middle of the hall, but nobody else could see her. She was old, older than anybody Merlin knew. And her eyes were as cold as death itself, and sad. As if she had lived through every horror imaginable. She was dressed in dirty robes, and when she spoke his name, she said "Emrys" with a voice Merlin would never forget. The voice of a thousand frozen lakes, and a thousand drowned women trapped under the ice. The voice of a thousand widows and a thousand orphans. She spoke his name a couple of times, and then she disappeared, just as fast as she had appeared.

Merlin suddenly felt so cold. Colder than he had ever felt before. Like he was never going to be happy again. He couldn't stand up. It was impossible. His knees felt numb, and his whole body sort of stopped working, and he fell to the ground. It seemed like everyone had noticed, because the celebration stopped, and as Merlin closed his eyes, he could see Lancelot running toward him.

When he woke up again, he found himself in his room, covered in blankets. He still felt cold, and was shivering. He got up, and walked down to the pharmacy. He had to ask Gaius what the hell had happened to him.

He told Gaius everything that has happened. He wanted to know who the woman was. According to Gaius, she was The Cailleach, the gatekeeper to the Spirit World.

"Why was she there?" Merlin asked, not understanding anything.

"It was on the stroke of midnight on Samanth's Eve. The very moment when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest. It cannot be a coincidence."

"Why was I the only one to see her?"

"You have great powers, Merlin. To be gifted such a vision is very uncommon."

"But you don't understand, it wasn't a vision. She knew who I was. She called me Emrys." Gaius suddenly looked really thoughtful. "What is it?" Merlin asked, now a bit worried. "What does it mean?"

"I am not sure... But... If somebody has torn the veil between the worlds... Then God help us all."

Merlin had a lot on his mind now. Normally he would go and say goodnight to Arthur, but he was just too cold. He didn't feel like it. It was late anyway, so he went to bed. He could always talk to the prince the next morning.

Said morning he woke the prince with his normal; "Rise and shine!" while pulling away the curtains, letting the sun shine into the room. Arthur moaned, obviously tired from yesterday.

"You didn't come back last night..." he mumbled into the pillow he had placed over his face to cover it from the bright sun.

"Well, I did faint after all."  
"I know. I went to see you, but Gaius said you were asleep." Merlin smiled. It warmed his heart to know that the prince cared so much.

"Yeah..."

"What happened?" Merlin told Arthur about what he had seen, and what Gaius had told him. Arthur had never heard about it before, but his look was still worried when he removed the pillow.

"Are you still cold?" he asked, a small smile playing around his lips. Merlin pretended not to know where this was going.

"A bit..." he said, also smiling. Arthur held out his arms, inviting Merlin into the bed. Merlin was about to oblige, when sir Leon stormed into the room.  
"Sire! You're needed in the council as a matter of great urgency!" he said and turned around again, leaving before Arthur could say anything. Merlin felt like they had been interrupted by sir Leon before... Not that he disliked him for that. No, sir Leon was one of the most honorable knights, and had always treated Merlin well.

Arthur dressed quickly, with a great deal of help from Merlin, and then they both hurried to the council-room, to see what sir Leon was so worked up about.

"Her village was attacked." Agravaine explained as they entered the room. They both saw right away who he was talking about. A young woman stood there, crying and shivering.

"By whom?" Agravaine shrugged his shoulders and Arthur walked up to the woman to question her. In a friendly manner, of course. He was a real gentleman.

He begun slowly, not wanting to push her too much. She already looked like she was scared half to death.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Drea." she mumbled, almost unable to get anything out, since she was shaking so terribly.

"Drea, I'm Arthur. Don't be frightened. Tell me what happened." he said, calmly, stroking her arm, soothingly. He really did have a special talent when it came to making people feel safe. He was going to be a really special king.

"My mother... My Father... My little sister... They're..." she said, and stopped, tears blocking the coming words.

"It's alright. It's alright." Arthur said, calming her down. "Did someone attack them?" She nodded. "Who?"

"There was no one. Just... Shapes."

"You couldn't see their faces?"

"They had no faces. I'm telling you the truth! They were there... But, they weren't there." Merlin could swear he just heard a scream, just like the ones last night. "They moved so quickly! It was as if they weren't real, but... They must have been. I could hear the people screaming, and then... Silence. They were all... Dead." That was all she managed to say, before she started crying again.

"Thank you." Arthur said, and she was escorted out by Gaius. Merlin had a really bad feeling now. Sure, he often had a bad feeling, but not like this. This was... Something else.

"Where is this village?" Arthur asked Agravaine.  
"It's east of the White Mountains. It's more than half a day's horse ride." he said, as if he wanted to protest against Arthur going.

"Ready the men." Arthur ordered sir Leon.

It ended with Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine, Leon, Lancelot, Percival and Elyan riding out, heading for the village that had been attacked. Of course, Merlin knew that they had to go. They had to see what had happened, but... He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling off. He felt like every shadow was... A creature. Because of that, he spent the whole time turning around on his horse, trying to look for any dangers.

He felt safer with Arthur and the other knights, of course, but... Still.

They got to the village at nightfall. It looked quiet. Almost too quiet. Like nobody had lived there. Ever. They got of their horses and walked in between the houses, looking for anything suspicious. Merlin thought the whole silence was the thing that was odd about this place. Arthur also commented on it, making Merlin worry even more. He walked close to Arthur, for once he felt like it was himself that needed protection. Not that he would let Arthur face danger to save him, no, but right now he was just... Scared, so scared he could feel chills running constantly down his spine. This was like nothing he had ever experienced.

It seemed like everyone's nerves were worn out now, because they were all startled when they heard a noise coming from a house. A few seconds later (they had been holding their breaths) a goat came running out. Merlin had never seen the knights like that. Even Gwaine didn't look too bright. Now, it wasn't just Merlin who acted paranoid. Everyone had started looking constantly behind their backs. Afraid of _something._

Elyan was brave enough to enter one of the houses, and he soon called for the others.

"Here!" he said, and they all came running. In the house there were corpses. But, they weren't just corpses, these were... Merlin couldn't say what had killed them. It looked like they had frozen to death, since they were covered in something that looked like ice. But the thing that made Merlin's hair stand on edge was their faces. They were frozen in terrible screams. Like they had seen something so frightening it had made their heart stop. And again, Merlin heard a scream, only, not that loud, more like it came from a distance. But, despite that, Merlin could have sworn he saw... A shadow? He had turned towards the sound, and so had everyone else. He wasn't the only one who could hear (and see?) them anymore.

"Did you see it?" Arthur whispered. Nobody answered.

"We are literally chasing shadows." Gwaine stated with his sword raised.

They made a couple of torches and continued to search the houses. The distant screams kept following them the entire time. Sometimes, only one of them would turn around, sometimes just Arthur, sometimes just Merlin. They soon split up. Merlin teamed up with Lancelot. They two split up after a while, because Merlin didn't really need a torch, since he had magic.

He was all alone now, and was going to make a light with magic, but it didn't work. He tried again and again, but the spell just wouldn't work. The screams became louder, and increased in numbers. Merlin tried different spells, but they didn't work. He was now growing desperate. Then he saw it coming towards him. It was just like the girl had said, it didn't have a face. And it was just a... Shape. The front was shaped like a skull, and it flew right towards Merlin while screaming with the voice of someone being tortured to death. He tried to stop it with magic, but it didn't work. It would have hit him, but Lancelot jumped in front of him with his torch, driving it away with the fire. It disappeared.

"What happened?" Lancelot asked.

"My magic... I couldn't use it." Merlin whispered. He was now more scared than he had ever been. The thought and feeling of not being able to use magic was unbearable. He felt so weak. So... Powerless. Without his magic he was nothing more than a servant with no fighting skills. He was just an easy victim for these... Things.

The others came running.

"There is something out there." Lancelot told them. "When it saw the light it fled."

"It's not something you can hunt or something you can kill..." Merlin said in a low tone. He was totally taken aback by the incident.

"We need to get out of here." Arthur stated and grabbed Merlin's arm, dragging his shaking servant with him. He constantly looked behind his back, because the screams were louder than they had ever been, and more and more kept coming.

They got back to Camelot early the next day, and the first thing that met them was death. Over fifty people had died that night, due to the shadows or whatever they were.

They were Dorocus, spirits of the dead, Gaius told them. And, there was no way killing them. The spirits had been released because somebody had performed a blood sacrifice. Someone? Morgana. It had to be done on the isle of the blessed, and that had been where she was heading.

"How do we defeat these creatures?" Arthur asked. But Gaius just shook his head.

"I don't know, sire. No mortal has ever survived their touch."

The castle was filled with fear now. It was as if the happy days they had had were gone, and would never return. The nights were the worst. Merlin spent all his time in Arthur's chambers now. It was better there, more lights. They had lit all the candles, to keep the spirits away. Merlin was constantly shaking. It felt better being with Arthur, because he was so brave. It made Merlin feel a whole lot better. Just that he put his arms around him, not saying anything, just _begin _there for him. Merlin had told Arthur that his magic was useless against them.

The next few days hundreds of people came to Camelot from across the kingdom, looking for protection. Arthur wanted to give it to them, but Agravaine disagreed.

"We cannot have them all." he said.

"We have to try."  
"We can't live like this forever, Arthur. We need to find a way to vanquish these creatures." Arthur thought about it for a moment, before turning to Gaius.

"Somewhere in all your books Gaius, there must be something... All I'm asking for is a way to fight them."

"I fear they can not be defeated by swords and arrows, sire. If I am right and the veil between the worlds has been torn, then there is only one path open to us. To travel to the isle of the blessed and repair it."

"And how do I do that?" Arthur asked, eagerly. He was willing to do anything to get these attacks to stop. He would not see his people suffer. No matter the cost.

"I'm not quite sure, but it did take a blood sacrifice to tear it, so to repair it, will require another." Everyone looked at Arthur, who looked really thoughtful.

"We ride at dawn." he said and turned to leave the room.

"And who will be the sacrifice?" Gaius asked.

"If I must lay down my life to save the people, that is what I will do."

"NO!" Merlin yelled, making everyone in the room look at him. Arthur just met his eyes with a sad look, then turned around and left.

"You can't do this, Arthur!" Merlin said the moment he entered his chambers.

"Yes, I can, and I will." he answered, determined.

"You are the future king! You have to live, Arthur!" Merlin said, now almost on the verge of crying. He just felt so goddamn _desperate._

"I have to save the people. Promise me that you'll let me do this, Merlin. Don't try to be a hero again, alright?" Arthur said, a soft smile on his face. He put his arms around Merlin, pulling him into a tight hug. "Promise me." he whispered, softly. Merlin let his tears fall, hugging the prince as close as he could.

"I promise." he said. It was a lie. He knew that, in the end, he would lay down his life for Arthur. If it was meant to be that way, then fine. As long as the prince lived, everything was okay. That was what Merlin told himself, but honestly he was scared. So very scared.

"You'll be coming with me, you know that?" Arthur said, still hugging.

"Yeah... Of course. As always." Merlin mumbled. He knew that if he raised his voice, he would start crying out loud, and he didn't want that. It was alright to just let his tears fall in silence. Why did things have to end this way? Why couldn't they go back to the happy, careless days? Merlin wished he had spent more time with his precious prince. Why hadn't he? He had taken their time together for granted, and now it was all too late. With that thought in mind he desperately clung unto Arthur, knowing that this was probably their last time together.

The brave men who were going with them on this quest was the normal group of Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival, Leon and Elyan. With Arthur and Merlin, that was a party of seven people. They knew the dangers they were going to face, but they left Camelot in good spirit. The spirit was always a bit higher when Gwaine was there. The man was a pure bringer of humor and laughter, still in the darkest hours. The responsibility for the kingdom had Arthur left with Agravaine. If Uther was to die, he was to assume the throne.

They rode all day, and they rode fast. By nightfall they had reached an abandoned castle Merlin couldn't remember the name of. They instantly paired up to get firewood for future torches. They needed wood for the entire night. Merlin knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep. He was way too scared. The wood they managed to gather was too little, it wouldn't last through the night, as Percival so kindly pointed out. They were gathered in a circle, everyone on constant watch out for the spirits. Just a moment of carelessness could const anyone their life.

"It'll keep the area safe for a while." Arthur said, trying to calm everyone down. It didn't really help. Merlin still felt his heart beat hard and fast.

Just a few hours later, they firewood was almost all used up.

"So, who's going to go get some more?" Gwaine said. Everyone had been thinking it for a while, so it was nice that someone finally brought the question to life.

"I'll go." Arthur said, bravely. Merlin volunteered to go with him at once.

Merlin picked up the wood, while Arthur was holding the torch, ready to defend them at any time. They were suddenly attacked by a spirit, and had to make a run for it. They ran into the castle, and hid inside a room, hoping that the spirit wouldn't follow them there.

Merlin looked over at Arthur, who was sitting next to him. He was shivering, like _really shaking._

"It's cold..." he said, and pulled Merlin closer to use his body heat to warm himself up. Not that it helped much, since Arthur's armour was between them. Merlin still thought it worked, and cuddled up, closer to the prince. "I'm scared, Merlin." Arthur admitted. And he really did look scared. His blue eyes full of doubt, his skin pale, and then the constant shaking.

"Don't worry, Arthur. We will defeat them. Together." Merlin said, trying to keep Arthur's spirit up. Arthur returned it with a small smile.

"I'm glad you're here." he said. He was about to say something else, but they heard a scream, and Merlin knew it was the Dorocus coming through the door. He didn't get the time to think straight, but he knew what he was doing. Arthur was about to get up to fight it, but Merlin pushed him back, got up himself and threw himself at it. He was going to defend Arthur no matter what. The moment the spirit touched him, things became blurry, then cold. As if he had been thrown into icy-water. Then everything became pure darkness...

_Yes, this is a split-episode again (I love those, lol). Anyways, thank you for reading this chapter. It was a pretty easy one to write... It was the first episode from season 4, which I haven't watched in awhile. Just have to mention this; in the beginning of this episode, in the intro the dragon said "In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young __**man**__, his name, Merlin." Lol, Merlin is a man now, he had been "young boy" for like three seasons. But yeah, as always; please leave a review/fave/follow, I really appreciate it. _


	18. Chapter 18 For Your Friends

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea_

_Chapter 18. - For Your Friends_

Arthur knelt beside his frozen servant. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He _wouldn't _believe it. Why the hell had Merlin done that!? Did he really think he wanted him to die for him? No! If one was going to die for the other, then Arthur would be the one dying. He lifted Merlin's lifeless body up in his arms, shaking him.  
"Merlin!" he shouted, but got no response. He hadn't even noticed that the others had arrived. Who the hell cared? _'No mortal has ever survived their touch', _he remembered Gaius' words. It couldn't be... Merlin couldn't die! Arthur could feel tears welling up in his eyes. '_No man is ever worth your tears', _had he really said that? What the hell?! Of course Merlin was worth his tears! He put two fingers on Merlin's neck to check if there was any pulse. He was almost too afraid to know the answer. But, he felt it. His heart beating. No... It was just his imagination playing tricks with him... But he kept his fingers there. His heart _was _beating! Arthur wanted to jump out of joy, but instead he turned around to face the others (whom he had now noticed from the corners of his eyes).

"We need to warm him up." was all he said. He lifted Merlin up in his strong arms, carrying him bridal-style. They hurried back to what they called "the camp", and lit a fire with the wood Merlin had gathered (Gwaine had picked it up). Hopefully, it wasn't too late.

Arthur didn't know much about these creatures and the damages they did, but he did know that Merlin was as cold as ice now, and what better cure than to warm him up? His eyes were closed, but now Arthur could see his breath, and his chest moving slowly.

He had placed him down next to the fire, and sat down beside him, wrapping his arms around his beloved servant. The others gave him a weird look.

"He needs to be kept warm." Arthur explained. Not that holding him like this would help much, seeing as Arthur had his armour on. Holding Merlin like this wasn't really for Merlin's sake, but for his own. He needed to keep him close, to feel him living. Arthur was scared, scared deep down to his bones. If he lost Merlin tonight, he would have nothing left. It hadn't occurred to him before now, when he was so close to losing him, how much Merlin actually meant to him.

He could do anything for his servant. Anything. _So, please Merlin... Don't leave me now..._

The morning soon came, and Merlin was still breathing. Thank God.

"We have to get him back to Gaius." Arthur said, making everyone stop with whatever they were doing. Sir Leon looked at him in disbelief.

"And abandon the quest?"

"He saved my life. I will _not _leave him here to die."

"Sire, if we don't get to the Isle of the Blessed, hundreds more will perish." _I don't give a damn as long as Merlin is alright you asshole! _Arthur was about to say it outloud, angry for getting resistance. But, before he could open his mouth, Lancelot stepped in.

"Let me take him." he said, noble as always.

"Carrying a wounded man... It will take you two or three days to reach Camelot." Arthur said after a moment's thought. He wanted to make sure that Merlin lived. Even if it meant letting hundreds of people die. For a moment he felt like a bad prince, but he couldn't help it. Right now, he listened to his heart.

"Not if I go through the Valley of the Fallen Kings." Lancelot said, and Arthur knew he was right. God, he felt so relieved he just wanted to hug Lancelot for being such a genius. Of course, he didn't do that, but he kinda did it mentally.

Alright, he would intrust Merlin's life to Lancelot. He should be honored. Merlin was the most important thing in Arthur's life after all. Not that Lancelot knew that, but he should be honored nonetheless. Yet again, Arthur knelt down beside his servant.

"Lancelot is going to take you back to Camelot." he said, and hoped that Merlin could hear him. He apparently could, and opened his eyes for the first time since the incident.

"No, please... Take me with you." he whispered. He could barely move his lips, and was shaking, probably still cold.

"You'll die, Merlin. You have to get back to Camelot, so that Gaius can help you."

"No! I need to come with you!" Merlin protested, raising his voice as much as he could (which was still extremely pitiful).

"I won't let you. You need to be safe, no matter what. I'll see you back in Camelot." Arthur said, smiling a forced smile. He knew that he wouldn't see Merlin again. He was going to sacrifice himself on the Isle of the Blessed.

"No..." Merlin whispered, but couldn't get out any more words. Arthur lifted him up, carrying him to his horse. He needed to be tied to it so that Lancelot wouldn't get trouble. And of course, so that he wouldn't fall off.

Arthur was standing on one side of the horse, and all the others on the other. He knew that they couldn't see them, so he slowly bent over and kissed Merlin's lips. They were cold. So cold. Arthur couldn't understand how he could be alive. He took Merlin's hand and squeezed it, hard. This was their last minute together in this life. They both knew it, and Merlin couldn't hold his tears back.

"I love you." Arthur said, quietly, so that the other's wouldn't hear.

"Sire! We need to leave!" he heard sir Leon's voice. Damn that knight... But, he was right, of course he was. With one last look at Merlin he turned around and went to his own horse. At the same time, Lancelot and Merlin left.

Arthur just stood there for a while, seeing as Lancelot and Merlin disappeared around a corner, and out of sight. He regretted sending him away... Kind of. He had wanted Merlin to be the last thing he saw in this life, but, of course it was more important that Merlin lived. Without further delay, Arthur got on his horse, and they rode fast, heading for the Isle of the Blessed.

If the huge burden of knowing he was never going to see Merlin again hadn't been forcing his mood down, the trip probably would have been amusing, at least in the beginning. Gwaine was the most retarded knight Camelot had ever known. Like, who the hell tried to steal honey from a beehive with his bare hands?

But, after awhile, you get tired of Gwaine's talking, no matter how many funny comments he has. Arthur got tired before everyone else, just because he was generally feeling like shit. Not having Merlin there affected him more than he thought it ever would. He had grown way too attached to his lover. _Oh God did I just call him my lover?! _Arthur mentally hit himself for his thoughts, and shook his head. Right now they were walking, because the horses needed a rest. Poor animals had been all worn out.

By nightfall they had reached the Great Mountains. They would take days to overcome. Luckily, Arthur had a plan. To use the tunnels. Everyone agreed, except for Gwaine.  
"These tunnels are swarming with vilderin!" he complained. Arthur explained how they were supposed to cover themselves in Gaya-berries. (Berries that smelled really badly). Gwaine still didn't really believe in the plan, but after nearly being killed by a Dorocha, he gave in and they all hurried into the tunnels. According to Arthur, it would take all night to go through here, but that would still be a way better idea than going over the mountains.

At dawn, they escaped the tunnels. Gwaine dolphin dived out, landing hard in mud. Poor guy had had about a duzin near-death-experiences. Everyone was kind of happy about it though, because it seemed to make him quiet.

They all washed the Gaya-berries off, and enjoyed the smell of fresh air. Arthur promised himself to never, ever go into the tunnels again, unless highly necessary of course.

"We need to rest, sire... Even Gwaine has gone quiet." sir Leon said, but Arthur didn't agree.

"Seems like a good reason to keep going." he said.

But, they had already been awake for over 24 hours, and at sunset, they just _had _to rest. They couldn't go on anyway, because of the Dorocas. They had to do as usual, and find firewood for torches. Luckily, finding wood in the forest wasn't hard.

Someone had to stand guard, and Arthur, being the good leader that he was, voluenteered. He wanted his men to rest and be fit for tomorrow. He didn't really worry about himself. Also, he didn't want to sleep for the last hours he had in this world. He was going to die soon, after all. Why waste these hours? He just wished Merlin had been there, because even though he was awake, he still felt like he wasted time. _God, I'm so selfish, _Arthur thought and sighed. It was always nighttime now... Maybe this was his last night on earth? He didn't know, and honestly, he didn't want to think about that. He wasn't afraid of dying, now when he was dying to protect everyone he cared about. But... The thought of never seeing Merlin again, it was just too hard.

Elyan came walking towards him. Arthur was glad for some company. It would probably take his thoughts off things...

"Seen anything?" the knight asked. Arthur just shook his head, too tired to answer with words.

"Do you know what we're going to face on the Isle of the Blessed?" he asked. Arthur hadn't told his knights about his plans... He couldn't, because he knew they wouldn't let him. But this wasn't their choice. And he would _never _allow any of them to sacrifice themselves instead of him. No, they weren't just his knights, they were his friends. Arthur hesitated, wondering what to answer, but he chose to just nod.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"The burden is mine, and mine to bear alone." Arthur said, quickly. He didn't like where this conversation was going. He would not tell Elyan about the plans... He couldn't.

"Look around, Arthur. We would fight a thousand armies with our bare hands for you. You are never alone. We stand together! Come on, I'll take over." he said, smiling, and grabbing the torch from Arthur. "You need some rest." Arthur put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"Thank you." he said, before walking over to the fireplace to join the others. He really did feel a bit better now, especially because he knew that they would be safe when he was gone. Yeah, for friends like this he would gladly give his life.

The next day just passed right before Arthur's eyes. Like it never started, and never ended. He couldn't remember anything that had happened when he was sitting at the fireplace. He didn't feel tired, and he didn't feel spirited. He hadn't said much, and he hadn't laughed. He just felt like everything was all soon going to end. The feeling of emptiness scared him more than the fear of actually dying. His hands were shaking, and he prayed to God that they would make it to the Isle of the Blessed by tomorrow, because he honestly believed that he would change his mind if he got more time to think. If only Merlin was here... That would have made things so much easier... Or maybe not? Maybe he then would have been reminded of how much he enjoyed life. At least now, it didn't seem so sad to leave. He didn't even know if Merlin was alive. He would like to know if he was alright. Of course he was. Lancelot could be trusted, yes, absolutely. But he still wanted to see him... He shouldn't have to spend the last days in his life without him. It wasn't fair.

Even though Arthur's mind was clouded, his senses were not. He was the first one to hear the doors of the abandoned castle they were camping in open.

"Quiet." he said, his voice hoarse from not talking for hours. Everyone got up, drawing their swords, and facing in the direction of the noise.

They stepped forward, and coming out from the shadows was a person. Lancelot.

"Lancelot! How's Merlin?" Arthur instantly asked, not bothering to even greet the man properly. If Lancelot was here, and Merlin wasn't, that could only mean one thing. Arthur literally felt his heart swell up inside his chest much enough for it to hurt. If Merlin was dead, then leaving this world was no problem.

"Bad news..." Lancelot said, and the pain in Arthur's chest rose to the double. Lancelot suddenly smiled, and shrugged his shoulders. "He is still alive." And as if it was a dream, Merlin came out from behind him, smiling that usual, adorable smile of his. Arthur could do nothing but breath out and almost laugh in relief. Never had he been so happy to see his servant.

Right at that moment, he didn't care about the other knights and what they thought. He just pulled Merlin close and hugged him in a more than friendly manner. The others didn't really seem to mind though. After Arthur was done hugging him (that took a few minutes), the others followed his example. Gwaine almost wouldn't let go of him. He was probably Merlin's closest friend. Well, except for Arthur and maybe Lancelot.

After the others had gone to sleep, Arthur and Merlin just sat next to each other, and Merlin quietly told Arthur what had happened to him and Lancelot. Arthur listened, but his mind was off somewhere else. He was thinking about what was going to happen to himself... How it would be like to die... And the thought of never seeing Merlin ever again. Merlin obviously sensed his distress.

"Everything is going to be alright." he said, trying to cheer the prince up. It didn't really work, because Arthur knew that nothing would be alright.

"I'm just tired, that's all." he lied, trying to smile a bit, but that just failed.

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself." Merlin stated.

"To save my people..."

"I will take your place." Merlin said. Arthur instantly shook his head.

"Merlin, no..."

"What is the life of a servant, compared to that of a prince?" Merlin said, one hundred percent serious. Arthur was amazed by how cynical he could look at this. Right now, Merlin thought practical. And Arthur knew that if he had been like his father, Merlin would be the one dying. But he wasn't like his father! Not one bit! There was no way he was going to let Merlin, or anyone else for that matter, die in his place.

"Good servants are hard to come by." Arthur said, trying to wash it all away with a joke.  
"I'm not that good." Merlin said, joining in on the joke.

"True." Merlin laughed, quietly, but Arthur only smiled. "I won't let you do it, Merlin. I could never live with myself if I knew I let you die in my place."

"Same here! This isn't your responsibility, Arthur!"

"I am the prince, this is my duty."

"No, it isn't! Please don't leave me!" Merlin said, raising his voice to the point where the danger of someone waking up was high. But he didn't seem to notice (or care) about that. He just grabbed Arthur hand. "Please don't leave me..."

"I have to. Just promise me you'll have a good life, Merlin."

"I can't live without you." Merlin said, quickly, cutting Arthur off.

"Yes you can. You lived fine before you met me, didn't you?"  
"But that's different! I will never be able to forget you." Merlin said, now almost on the verge of crying.

"I kind of hope you don't. I want to be remembered, but not in a sad way. I want you to remember all the good-times we've had."

"Arthur I-"

"Merlin, don't make it harder than it already is..." Arthur sighed. Hearing Merlin like this tore his heart apart. He didn't want to make Merlin sad, but he didn't have a choice. This was how it had to be...

"But I love you so much!" Merlin couldn't take it anymore, and his eyes flooded with salty tears, which started streaming down his cheeks. Arthur pulled him into a hug. He didn't know if it would help, but to feel Merlin's warmth made himself feel better. "Please don't leave me... Please, Arthur, Please..." Merlin panted against his chest. He almost couldn't breathe because of his desperate crying. If made Arthur feel hopelessly lost, and before he knew it, tears filled his own eyes, and he joined Merlin's crying. But he let his tears fall silently, holding his servant close for the last night ever.

The next day was the saddest day Arthur had ever lived through. Every time he met Merlin's eyes, he could see them filling up with tears, and Merlin would face away so that he wouldn't start crying. Merlin didn't say anything, because he would just start crying again. It was hard for Arthur to watch, and he grew more and more uncertain with each moment. Would he really be brave enough to leave Merlin? Never seeing him again... Sure, he didn't really know how it would be like to be dead. Maybe he wouldn't have any feelings, maybe there was no "after world", but then again... Where did the Dorocos come from if there was nothing more? And what about Merlin? He would have to feel like this for the rest of his life? If he really loved Arthur this much, it would be hard for him... Hopefully he would be able to move on, and live a happy life. _I would never have been able to move on. _

All too soon, they could see the Isle of the Blessed. It was just a small island out on a lake, or was it a sea? Arthur didn't even remember. It didn't really matter, because it didn't change the fact that it was the place he was going to die. The time was close now... And he was honestly scared now. He wanted Merlin to say that everything was going to be fine. That it wouldn't hurt, and that he wouldn't be alone. Just that everything was going to work out. But Merlin was silent, like he was already mourning over Arthur.

It was amazing that all of them could fit in the little vessel that took them out to the island. It moved on it's own, and Arthur knew it was magic. Not that he cared. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now, because for him it was all soon over.

When they reached the island, they heard growls coming from the sky. Arthur had heard them before, when he, Merlin and Gwaine had been in the castle of the Fisher King. He knew they were related to dragons, and Merlin was a dragonlord. Shortly after they had started attacking, Merlin mumbled some words (the other's didn't hear it), and the "dragons" left.

But they returned, and Elyan insisted on them splitting up. Arthur knew it was a bad idea, because Merlin could easily hold them off. But he joined in on the plan anyway, so it ended with Elyan, Percival and Leon staying behind to fight the "dragons", and the rest hurried into the castle where Arthur's death awaited.

"It is not often we have visitors." A cold voice suddenly said, and an old woman was standing in front of them. Arthur felt death creep up on him just by looking at her eyes. There was so much pain in them, so much sadness. Like she had seen every horror in the world. But, Arthur didn't lose his head.

"Put an end to this!" He demanded.

"It was not I who created this horror. Why should it be I who stops it?"

"Because innocent people are dying!" Merlin spoke up, obviously now desperate, because he knew how close Arthur was to his end.

"Indeed!" she said, and started laughing. A cold laugh that made chills run down Arthur's spine. Gwaine apparently got annoyed by her heartless laugh, and decided to charge her. With a growl he ran towards her with his sword lifted for battle. But he was thrown back by her powers, and landed on the floor, not moving. "Is this the best you can do?" she laughed, challenging.

"I know what you want!" Arthur said, afraid she would attack Merlin or Lancelot. He just hoped that Gwaine wasn't dead. No, he didn't look dead.. He was breathing, wasn't he?

"Do you?" she said, lifting her eyebrows slightly. "And are you willing to let me have it?"

"I'm prepared to pay whatever price is necessary." She slowly lifted her hand, smiling, and made a gesture with her hand, indicating that she wanted him to follow her. Follow her into the darkness behind her... Follow her into death. He started walking, slowly. He was scared, he couldn't deny that. But this was the only way...

Suddenly, he was thrown to the side by magic. It wasn't the old woman, but Merlin who had done it.  
"Merlin! What are you doing?!" he wanted to shout, but it only came out as a whisper. He couldn't move... Damn that sorcerer! "Merlin! Don't do it!"

"Well, well, well... Emrys... You chose to challenge me after all. Are you really willing to sacrifice your life to save your prince?"

"It is my destiny." Merlin said, bravely.

"Perhaps... But your time among men is not yet over, even if you want it to be." she said, and smiled while turning her head towards the pitch black-darkness behind her. And there, Arthur could see Lancelot standing. He was about to walk into the next world. To sacrifice himself. One last time he turned around and nodded to the two people he called his friends. Arthur wanted to tell him not to, but it was too late, because he took one more step, and disappeared along with the old woman, and the portal vanished.

"NO!" Merlin shouted, and fell down on his knees. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be... It was _my _destiny!" Apparently, Merlin was wrong. It hadn't been his destiny to die here... Nor had it been Arthur's. But that didn't make the loss any smaller for Merlin, who had just lost one of his closest friends.

For minutes, he was just standing there, looking at the place where Lancelot had stood. Arthur could move, after a while, and got up on his feet to comfort Merlin. He felt a bit sick, because deep inside he was _relieved _of what had just happened. It made him feel like a coward... Merlin wasn't crying. Maybe because all his tears already had been used. Arthur put his arms around him, not saying anything. He just wanted to keep Merlin close, to let him know that he was still there for him.

When the others learned to know what had happened, everyone was silent. Even Gwaine. And they knew that things would never be the same in the little group of knights, who were best friends. Nothing was the same without Lancelot, who really had been the bravest and noblest of them all. It wasn't Arthur's fault, he knew that, but he still felt bad, just because he was happy to be alive. He should have been the one who died, he knew that... And yet. He was relieved.

_Sorry if this chapter is short, I just had to get it done. I have been really uninspired this week... But yeah. If any of you are on deviantart, I would be happy if you checked out my profile .com. And, as always please leave a review or fave/follow._


	19. Chapter 19 It's A New Day

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 19 - It's A New Day_

It was Arthur's birthday. And, of course, since he was the prince, it was a special day for the whole of Camelot. A huge feast would be held in his honor, and he would have lots of entertainment. The only problem was, Merlin seemed to be looking forward to it more than the prince himself. Stupid Arthur, always being so picky. Was nothing good enough for his royal ass? Merlin was looking out of the window, gazing down upon the acrobats who had come to Camelot, only because of the prince.

"Did you see that?!" Merlin said as one of the acrobats did a backflip. Arthur just looked out the window for one second, before shaking his head.

"The man just throws sticks in the air..." he mumbled, not sounding pleased at all.

"What's wrong? It's your birthday! A feast is being held in your honor! You've got dancers, jugglers and acrobats to entertain you!" Arthur still had a I'm-not-impressed-at-all-look on his face. "It must be a terrible burden..." Merlin joked.

"Perhaps I'm not so easily impressed as you." Arthur said, defending himself.

"I'm really looking forward to it." Merlin said, honestly. Arthur turned around to face him and patted him on the head.

"Because you have the mind of a child." he said, smiling before he turned to get something.

"And still I'm more intelligent than you..."

"I heard that!"

Merlin was glad that the old atmosphere was back in Camelot. Like things were okay again. After all the victims from the Doroca, people had been quiet for a while, remembering their dead. Merlin had mourned over the loss of Lancelot, and had constantly blamed himself for his death. But, everybody had silently agreed that it was in the past now, and things could go back to its merry state.

Merlin looked up at his master, and could see that he was enjoying himself. He reckoned it was mostly because his father had decided to join them for the feast. Uther never left his chambers, and hardly spoke to anyone. But today was an exception, and he looked sort of happy. At least he was smiling, and drinking. A good sign. Merlin was thankful that even though Arthur didn't find the entertainment as good as the others did, he would still have a good time. Merlin thought it was amazing to watch all the acrobats and the other entertainers do their tricks. And so did the other knights. It was as if everyone had just decided that this would be a perfect day.

"I require a volunteer." the leader of the entertainers said, and looked around the circle of audience. "Price Arthur! What a fitting opportunity and time to show your legendary bravery! Do you accept the challenge?" Merlin instantly had a bad feeling. He hated it when Arthur was challenged, because he would never back way. And this time was no different. He got up and nodded, smiling proudly.

"Of course!" He received applause from the audience, as well as the other entertainers.

"Is this safe?" Merlin asked as Arthur handed him his robe.

"It's knife throwing, Merlin, of course it's not safe."

Arthur was placed on a wheel, and his arms and legs were tied, so that he couldn't really move much. After that, an apple was placed in his mouth. Arthur looked at Merlin, and Merlin gave him a worried look. He didn't really like the fact that Arthur trusted him this much. He knew that if he was in danger, Merlin would save him with magic. But, Merlin didn't see his own magic as a guarantee. He just hoped that for once, this wasn't an assassination attempt.

The wheel which Arthur was bound to, was spun around, and the knife-thrower got in position. He threw the first knife, so that it jammed into the wheel, right next to Arthur's head. The next one did the exact same thing, only on the other side. The next knife, was apparently the last one. Merlin thought Arthur was pushing his luck pretty far by now... Hopefully the thrower knew what he was doing...

When he threw the last knife, Merlin couldn't resist the temptation, and slowed the time down, so that he could see it all in slow-motion. For a second, he actually thought the knife would hit him, but then it pierced through the apple in Arthur's mouth. Merlin breathed out in relief. When the thrower was that skilled, he had clearly not wanted to kill Arthur.

Arthur was untied, and received applause. He looked happy, of course he was. He loved to show of his 'legendary bravery' after all. Shortly after that, the feast was over.

"You're telling me you weren't even a little bit scared?" Merlin said as they walked back to Arthur's chambers.

"Of course I wasn't! I am a warrior! You learn to control your fear... To-" he was interrupted when he walked into a column. It normally wouldn't knock him over, but he was pretty drunk, seeing as the way he walked, so Merlin had to catch him before he fell to the floor. He was way too heavy for a weak guy like Merlin to carry, so it ended with them both sliding to the floor alongside the column.

"You looked scared." Merlin said, lifting his eyebrows. Arthur just shook his head.  
"Good to see my father enjoying himself. He became a little quiet towards the end though... Perhaps I should go and see him?" Arthur said, trying to stand up. Merlin instantly got up to assist him.  
"Are you sure that's a good idea? You can barely stand up."

"I'll be fine... Just be here when I get back." Arthur commanded.

"Why?"  
"Because you haven't given me a birthday present, that's why." Arthur said, now smirking, and let his hand slide down Merlin's chest.

"And what is it that you wish for, sire?" Merlin asked, still holding Arthur so that he wouldn't fall over. He could feel his own heart starting to beat faster. Damn, it always did just by the thought of spending a night with Arthur.

"You." Arthur said, with heavy eyelids. He was really drunk, and probably wouldn't even stay awake long enough for them to do anything like 'that'. Merlin slowly let go of him, and Arthur left the room (he was walking in zig zag the entire time).

Merlin waited, as he had been given order to do. But, after a while he figured Arthur had been gone way too long. _That damn idiot has probably collapsed in one of the hallways... He was completely wasted after all. _With that thought in mind, Merlin went to go and look for the prince. But, he wasn't in any of the hallways that led to the king's chambers.

It wasn't before he was standing outside Uther's chambers that he heard a small, horse call, that definitely was Arthur.

"Guards!" he called, as if there was no strength left in his body. Merlin opened the door and hurried inside, to find Arthur sitting on the floor with Uther in his arms. Arthur was unharmed, but his father was bleeding from a wound on his chest, alarmingly near the heart. "Merlin... Help me..." Arthur begged, tears streaming down his cheeks, dread and sorrow ripping through his voice.

"I'll go get Gaius!" he said, and turned around on the spot to run and get the physician.

Ufortunatly, there was nothing Gaius could do. Or, he could attend to the wound, but it didn't do much of a difference. The blade had touched his heart, and he was bleeding from the inside.

"Please, Gaius! There must be something you can do..." Arthur said, beggingly. But Gaius shook his head.

"It's only a matter of time, I'm afraid... I'm sorry Arthur." he said.

Merlin hated seeing Arthur like this. He was so quiet, and his eyes were constantly blank, so that it looked like he always was about to cry. He just sat in his father's chambers all day, and just... Hoped. It broke Merlin's heart to know that he still believed that his father would survive. Because, well... There was nothing that could be done.

The night after the incident, the people of Camelot stood outside the castle with candles in their hands, to share their grief.

"Why are they acting like he's dead when there is still life left in his body?" Arthur said, annoyed. Merlin just sighed and put a hand on his arm.

"They are preparing for the worst."

"The people might give up hope, but I will not!" Arthur said and Merlin could hear in his voice that he was on the verge of crying again. Merlin hated to see Arthur cry. He was Arthur Pendragon! He was like the strongest warrior ever... He wasn't supposed to cry.

"I know it's hard for you to accept, but there really is nothing that can be done." Merlin said. He knew it was devastating for Arthur to hear it, but he needed to wake up. But, Arthur didn't want to face reality. He was as stubborn as always.

"There is a way to heal my father." he said, determined.

"How?" Arthur met Merlin's eyes, and Merlin kind of knew the answer before he said it.

"With magic." Arthur said.

"Arthur I-" Merlin started, but he didn't really know how to continue.  
"You can do it, can't you?" Merlin hesitated for a moment, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to the prince's face, so he nodded.

"Yes, I think so."

"Then there is hope!"

"But, Arthur... What will your father say?"

"He doesn't have to know about it." Arthur said, but Merlin were having doubts.

"I don't know..."

"Are you telling me you won't save my father when you have the chance to?" That was the finishing blow for Merlin, and he gave in.

Perhaps it wasn't a bad idea. If Merlin could save Uther, then why on earth not? There was no way Merlin could have foreseen what was going to happen. He didn't know that Arthur (that naive thing) had told Agravaine about the plan.

They waited until midnight, so that they wouldn't be caught. Arthur wouldn't want Merlin to be discovered as a sorcerer. Merlin had used the entire day to look into spells that would save Uther, and was pretty confident that he could do it.

Arthur looked so hopeful when they closed the door behind them, and Merlin started the healing-process.

At first, it didn't look like it had worked, but then Uther opened his eyes.

"Father!" Arthur said, astonished by the fact that his father was okay.

"Arthur..." the king said, and managed a small smile. Merlin smiled too. He always cherished the look of pure happiness on Arthur's face. His expression, however, changed after a few seconds. Uther gasped in pain.

"What's happening?!" Arthur demanded to know, and looked up at Merlin in panic.

"I don't know..."  
"Do something!"  
"I don't know what's wrong!" Merlin shouted. He really didn't know what was happening. He had done everything right... He was so sure of it. But, a few moments later, Uther was dead.

Arthur didn't want to acknowledge it at first, but when Merlin took his pulse and stated the obvious, he had no choice.

"He is dead." Merlin said, and looked worried at Arthur, who was unable to hold his tears back, and they came pouring down his cheeks like rain.

His sorrow soon turned to fury, and it was all pointed at Merlin.

"You killed him!" Arthur sneered through glittered teeth, while he got up from his kneeling-position.

"I tried to save him!" Merlin said, defending himself as best as he could. But Arthur wouldn't listen.

"My father has spent years trying to fight magic... And this... This is the work of magic! My father is _dead _because of magic! _Your magic!" _Unfortunately for Merlin, Arthur had brought his sword, which he now drew.

"Arthur... Listen to me! I didn't mean to..." Merlin tried to explain, while he slowly backed away from the vengeful prince.

"Shut up! I don't want excuses! I want my father back! You said you could heal him!"

"And I tried!" Merlin shouted, desperate to get Arthur to see sense, before things became any more dangerous.

"No! You killed him!" Arthur said, angrily and lashed out an attack towards Merlin with his sword. Merlin, luckily managed to get away, but only just. He felt a sharp pain on his chin, and realised he had just been cut. It wasn't deep, but if he had been any slower, he would have been killed.

"Arthur, please... Stop!"

"Aren't you going to fight back!? Use your magic to kill me the way you killed my father!" Arthur spat, and lifted his sword for another lunge. Merlin shook his head violently and backed away, but, he met the wall, and couldn't go any further.

"I didn't kill your father! And I would _never _use my magic against you!" Merlin said, trying to stay calm, but failing miserably. Arthur was pretty close now, and Merlin was cornered. No escape.

"If you won't defend yourself, that's your choice!" Arthur said, and was ready to attack. Merlin desperately thought of things to do. Anything! With Arthur like this, he would actually _kill _him. He couldn't think of anything... Anything but...

He stepped towards Arthur, closing the little gap between them and kissed him. It was a very soft kiss, considering the circumstances. Arthur didn't kiss back, he didn't breath, he didn't move, he didn't even blink. Merlin put his arms slowly around him, pulling him into a hug.

"I am so sorry." Merlin said in a calming voice, and that was it for Arthur. He let go of his sword, and sort of fell into Merlin's arms. Merlin's already shaking knees gave in to the weight, and they both landed on the floor. Merlin on his knees, supporting Arthur's body, which had just gone kind of numb. He was crying. Even though Merlin couldn't see his face, he could feel his body trembling with each breath. Merlin figured the only thing he should do was hold the prince. Because sometimes, even though Arthur was the strongest of them, he needed to be held. Close and tight. Merlin didn't realise it at first, but then he thought; _In my arms, right now is the king of Camelot. _Yes, Arthur was going to be king. A new time was coming.

_Kinda short chapter, I know. I am kind of depressed, or was... Season 5 of Merlin is the last season. Well, well... The story had to end somewhere. I haven't started on season 5 yet, because I'm watching season 4 all over again. Yeah, so... Anyways, please fave/follow or review! _


	20. Chapter 20 Dreams Are Only Real As Long

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 20 - Dreams Are Only Real As Long As They Last_

_Why is it that I am __**always**__ running? _Merlin thought to himself as he fled from the horde of hostile soldiers chasing him. He felt rather ridiculous, dressed up as a knight. All to lure the enemy into a trap. Why did Merlin have to do it in the first place? But, Arthur had insisted that he was the best man for the job (_that smug bastard)_, and Merlin had of course ended up agreeing. Well, at least he was fast. Running was one of Merlin's 'many talents', of course, he didn't have many (apart from his magic).

Everything went according to plan. Merlin led his chasers to a place where Arthur and the other knights would have the highlever advantage. And they appeared not a moment too soon.

The battle didn't last long, of course. Those poor people couldn't do anything about the surprise attack. Arthur was a merciful king, however, and they got many prisoners. One of them attracted more attention than the others.

He was no other than King Caerleon. A royal prisoner, now that was something you didn't see every day. But Merlin didn't like it, not at all.

His bad feeling only grew as the night came. The night was the time for mischief. And Agravaine would not let the opportunity pass. God how Merlin hated the way he spoke to Arthur. He said that he wasn't seen as a strong king by his enemies. Why did Arthur let him tell him what to do? Poor Arthur... He was so... Naive. Merlin knew he needed to tell Arthur the truth about where his uncle's loyalty lay, but he couldn't bring himself to. He had lost his father, and Morgana, who had been like a sister to him. There was nobody else. Only his uncle, and Merlin didn't want to take the feeling of family away from him. He knew how it felt to be alone. He just tried to imagine how his own life would be like without his mother or Gaius. Pretty empty. Of course, he and Arthur had each other, but only in secret.

Agravaine sort of 'ordered' Arthur to make Caerleon give up the territories that rightfully belonged to Camelot. Caerleon would never do that, he would rather die.

"Then you have no choice." Agravaine had said, coldly. He had 'given' Arthur until morning to decide. Just who the hell did he think he was?! Merlin felt his blood boil with anger, but he quickly settled down. Being angry wouldn't help anyone. He just had to talk to Arthur.

Just too bad Arthur didn't want to talk to him.

"Arthur-" Merlin started, but Arthur cut him off.

"Not now, Merlin." Something in the tone he spoke him made him sure that it was no use bothering to try. It would just make Arthur angry_. Stupid prince, oh wait, he was king... Well, he was still stupid. _

It seemed Arthur hadn't slept at all that night. Well, no wonder. He had a lot to think about after all. And, luckily, he was in a mood where he would talk to Merlin.

"Have you been up all night?"

"I've been thinking." he answered, still with the thoughtful expression on his face. He looked serious, fitting to his thoughts.

"About what Agravaine said?" Merlin tried, he had to guide the first part of the conversation, or Arthur wouldn't talk about it.

"Yes..."

"So, what are you going to do?" Merlin asked and sat next to Arthur.

"My father was a great king. But I don't have his wisdom or his conviction. I can only do what he would have done."

"You're gonna draw up this... Treaty?" Merlin didn't agree with Arthur at all. Arthur was a way better king than Uther ever was. He was supposed to keep his kind heart... But this was going in the wrong direction. Arthur nodded.

"To show my strength."

"He won't sign it, you know that."

"Caerleon brought this upon himself!"

"Arthur! You've always shown mercy in battle! You've never wanted to humiliate your enemy in this way. This isn't like you... This isn't-"

"You have no idea how it is to make these decisions! They will shape the future of this kingdom!"

"Arthur-"  
"Stick to what you do know." Arthur said with a cold voice, got up and left.

Merlin felt a bit put off by the kings behavior. A bit sad too, because he wouldn't listen to his council. He shouldn't expect that. Even if they were lovers or... whatever, Arthur was still the king, and Merlin was his servant. If anything, the gap between them had only widened. Merlin didn't want to doubt their relationship, but, he could only imagine how hard it was for Arthur. Constantly worrying about being caught. He probably worried for Merlin's sake too. And what about Merlin? Did he even deserve to be this close to the king? Apart from his magic, Merlin didn't have any special skills. He could run pretty fast, but only if he managed not to trip. He was rather clumsy after all. Merlin mentally hit himself for getting so depressed over a little thing like this. Of course Arthur had to make these decisions. The kingdom was his responsibility. Merlin tried to shake the uneasy feeling off, but it was sort of stuck under his skin, and wouldn't go away. The only thing he could do was ignore it.

Just like Merlin had predicted, Caerleon wouldn't sign the contract. He was a brave man, strong for his kingdom, and true to his believes. Without hesitation he got down on his knees and bent his neck so that Arthur could cut of his head. Which he did, without mercy, and without second thought. Merlin had never seen Arthur perform an execution like that before, and it kind of hurt him, to see that his beloved Arthur, who in his eyes was nothing but kind, could do something like that. He could only hope that in time, Arthur came to regret what he had done.

Without any further delay they returned to Camelot. Merlin still had this heavy weight around his heart. It felt a bit like when you have butterflies in your stomach from being excited for something, only these 'butterflies' hurt, and made it almost hard to breath. Merlin wanted the feeling to go away.

"Can't have been easy, having a man killed like that..." he said to Arthur, who was sitting behind his desk, working on some papers or something. Merlin was supposed to clean his chambers, but it was rather hard to work with this horrible feeling.

"It was necessary for the good of the kingdom." Arthur answered.

"So you don't regret what you did?"

"My conscience is clean, Merlin, which is more than I can say for my chambers, so just do your job, alright?"

"I'm just saying that... If you want to talk about it, or anything, I'm here for you. You shouldn't be pushing me away, not now... Not when you need me more than ever." Merlin blushed from the last sentence, but he knew he was right. If Arthur didn't need him now, he would probably never need him. He needed someone to support him in these hard times.

"You're wrong Merlin. I don't need anyone. I can't afford that luxury. The kingdom his my responsibility. And it's mine to bear alone, and you must learn to accept that." he said with only one look at Merlin. Their eyes hardly met.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Merlin felt his legs shake when the words _I don't need anyone _came back, ringing in his ears over and over again. He had to pull himself together not to sink to the floor. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be! Arthur was supposed to look him in the eyes... To hold him, smile and... He was supposed to say that he loved him, that he needed him, and that they'd always be together. But Arthur didn't look up from his papers, not once.

"I can't hear you working, Merlin." was all he said. Merlin felt tears gather in the corners of his eyes, but he pushed them back.

"Sorry, sire." he said with the steadiest voice he could conjure, and went back to tidying his room. The feeling he had wanted to get rid of was now stronger than ever. He had to try to breath slowly not to cry, and his hands were shaking. Hell, the whole of him was shaking. What had happened to Arthur?

It was a slight comfort to Merlin to see that he wasn't the only one suppressing his feelings. As he held the punching bag for Arthur to hit, he could feel his anger. Yes, he didn't hit like this normally. Not this hard, and not that fast. Merlin wanted to say something about it, but didn't get the chance, as the rope was torn, and both Merlin and the punching bag landed on the ground. Shortly followed by sir Leon coming running to tell Arthur that Caerleon's Queen's army had crossed the border. As if Merlin didn't have enough to think about. Now they were at war too!?

They had to ride at dawn. Merlin, Arthur and all the knights and soldiers of Camelot. They were going to war, like seriously. Merlin had been in many battles at Arthur's side, but this was different. He still hadn't given up on the thought that Arthur was just tired or something, and that was why he had said those things. As he made up Arthur's bed he decided to make one last effort. Normally, they would always share the bed before going on a trip. Arthur had said that Merlin deserved some luxury. To sleep together before and outing had become sort of a tradition, if you could call it that. They would kiss and cuddle and fall asleep together as if there was only the two of them in the world. Merlin wanted those days back so badly.

"This is the last night the both of us sleep in a proper bed for some time..." Merlin started. Of course, Arthur knew right away what he was talking about. He took a deep breath, then turned to face Merlin.

"Merlin I..." he closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, they were cold. Almost dead. Like he had removed all his emotions. For a moment, it was as if Merlin stood in front of Uther. "We can't be together. I'm sure you understand. If you never speak of or act upon what has happened, I believe you can keep being my servant. But that is all." Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"But... You... We... I..." Merlin didn't really know what to say. There were so many things going through his mind at the same time.

"I am the king, you are a servant. We are both men. I believe there is nothing else that needs to be said." he said, slowly, but without hesitating. As if he just wanted the message to sink properly into Merlin. But Merlin refused to believe him. How the hell could Arthur say something like that after all they had been through?!

"But, Arthur-" Arthur held up his hand to silence Merlin, but the warlock would let this go just like that. "I love you! I love you Arthur! I love you so fucking much you idiot!" Merlin shouted. The moment he raised his voice, he was unable to keep his tears back anymore, and they fell, no, streamed down his cheeks. Arthur sneered, and put his hand over his mouth, hard, gripping his jaw so that it hurt he pulled him close. Looking deep into his blue, scared eyes he said through glittered teeth; "I told you never to speak of it again. And if you do, it will be the last thing you ever do. Is that understood?!" Merlin couldn't do anything but nod. Arthur let go of him, and Merlin took a few steps back, afraid that the king would hurt him. But Arthur was looking away, his face in the dark, so that Merlin couldn't see his expression. "Leave." the king ordered, and Merlin hurried out of the room.

Merlin didn't really see how he could keep being Arthur's servant after this. He really didn't. But then again, he didn't have a choice. He had to protect Arthur. Even if they couldn't be together he still loved him, and it was still his destiny. He would stay by his side, 'til the end. He had promised that, and would keep his promise. It was probably going to be awkward in the beginning, until they both found their right place. Not too close, but Merlin knew he would still treat Arthur as his friend. He hoped Arthur would let him. If not, it would all become too painful. Too painful for his heart to bear, but not for himself. He knew he _had _to do this, no matter what.

The next day they rode off to war. The battle would be the next day, since their destination was about a day's ride away. The battle had to be there, so that they'd get the upper advantage. An important ally when you're going to defeat an army bigger than your own. Merlin could see that Arthur was stressed out. His eyes were constantly wandering around. No wonder, really, they were going to fight in just a few hours. Merlin knew what bothered Arthur the most was that his men were going to die. Even after Elyan's speech of how they would all lay down their life for Arthur, and how they fought for freedom and justice. He still held himself responsible.

"I made the wrong decision." he suddenly said, while meeting Merlin's eyes for the first time after their 'fight'. Merlin could see the old Arthur in those eyes, and it calmed him more than one thousand words. He would've smiled, but didn't, considering what Arthur had just said.

"You didn't have a choice, if there was any way around this battle, you would take it, but this is the only way. You have to protect the kingdom. You don't have a choice." Merlin said, supporting Arthur just like he always did.

"I did have a choice. I shouldn't have killed Caerleon."

"What you did, you did for the sake of the kingdom."

"Maybe... But now my men must pay for it with their lives. I made the wrong decision, Merlin..." he sighed. Merlin wanted to put his hand on his shoulder, to hug him and tell him that it was going to be alright. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. So, he just stood there, in silence, not wanting to hurt himself by trying to get closer to the king, when he was ordered not to.

Merlin woke up as somebody slipped past him. He always slept very light when he was sleeping under the open sky. He got up, as silently as he could, determined to follow whoever it was. He suspected it to be Agravaine, on the path of treason, again. But when the person turned around to look if he was being followed, Merlin could see that it was Arthur. What the hell was he doing?

Merlin followed him, of course. He had to make sure he wasn't hurt. Wandering off in the middle of the night wasn't exactly a safe business when the hostile army was just a few hundred yards away. What if he was captured? Arthur didn't seem to worry about that at all, as he walked right into their camp. Two guards caught him, and he gave in without putting up a fight. He wasn't even armed! Merlin (a.k.a stealth) crawled after them. Arthur was taken to the biggest tent, where the queen was.

Merlin soon understood what Arthur was planning, as he listened to their conversation. Arthur apologised for what he had done, and pleaded for a combat between two champions, so that hundreds of lives would be spared. Shortly after that, Merlin was ambushed, and dragged into the tent.

"I'm sorry..." Merlin said while looking up at Arthur. He knew he might have endangered the whole operation.

"Do you know him?" the queen asked. Arthur nodded.

"He is my servant, he must have followed me here. I knew nothing about it."

"Kill him." she said.

"No! Please! Let him go! He is just... A simple minded fool." Arthur said, and looked beggingly at the queen. Even if he was called a simple minded fool, it warmed Merlin's heart to hear Arthur raise his voice, and lose control like that when his life was in danger.

"That is two favours you've asked of me this night, Arthur Pendragon." the queen said. Both Arthur and Merlin held their breaths as they waited for her reply on the requests.

"Fine, you shal have your fight." she said. Arthur bowed deeply.

"Thank you, your highness."  
"Announce your champion by noon tomorrow." Arthur nodded, then bowed again, and he and Merlin left the tent.

"What the hell were you doing, following me like that?!" Arthur demanded to know as soon as they were 'safe'.

"What the hell were _you_ doing, walking right into the hands of the enemy like that?!" Merlin said back, angrily.

"You almost got us both killed!"  
"And you're the one to talk! I just followed you because you are my friend. I wanted to make sure you were alright..." Arthur didn't answer that, which Merlin was kind of thankful for. They were supposed to have a normal servant-master relationship after all.

Merlin had kind of known who the champion would be. He knew Arthur, at least he knew the old Arthur, who was back, it would seem. He announced himself as the champion. The men argued, but his mind was unchangeable.

As well as Merlin was concerned about the king fighting, he was also glad, because this was something that the old Arthur would do. He could only hope and believe that he was back.

The next day, where the fight would be came all too soon.

"Not too tight, Merlin, you don't want to kill me before the battle starts." Arthur joked while Merlin strapped the armour a bit too tightly around his chest. He hadn't joked for a while, and it made Merlin feel happy.

"Sorry." he said, and loosened it a bit. "Are you sure about this sire? You're king now, Camelot needs you... Alive."

"I am doing what is right, Merlin. For the first time since I became king, I can truly feel in my heart that I am doing the right thing." he said, and smiled. Merlin finished putting on his armour, and Arthur turned around to face his servant. "If this day is my last day... I just wanted you to know that... I'm sorry. I am so sorry." he said, with a sad expression on his face. "Can you forgive me, my friend? My lover... My light and my reason. Please forgive me Merlin, for I am so sorry." he said, and pulled Merlin into a tight hug. Merlin's heartbeat raced like a wild wind in his chest, and he was sure Arthur could feel it even through his armour.

"So it wasn't what you wanted then... To be away from me?" he asked, slowly, a bit afraid of the answer.

"No. Agravaine told me that I couldn't be friends with my servant, and then I thought that I most certainly could not have my manservant as my lover. But... I don't care what he thinks. I don't care what anybody thinks. I will rule this land with my heart as my guidance, and my hand in yours." he said, and kissed Merlin. Into it he poured all the things he wanted to apologise for, and all the regret he felt. Just as they pulled away from each other, Agravaine entered the tent.

"It is time." he said. And with one last look at Merlin, Arthur left the tent.

Merlin watched as Arthur walked down the hillside to meet his opponent. He was a huge man, three heads taller than Arthur, and probably strong as as bear. Merlin remembered his first months in Camelot, and the turney, when he has saved Arthur from sir Valiant. He has fought a man that size and won. _'he is slow.' 'and you're fast!' 'exactly.'_

Merlin was prepared to use his magic to save him, but the distance between him and Arthur was rather far, and if Merlin was too slow to react, or didn't see what was going on, it could cost the king his life. Hopefully, Merlin wouldn't have to step in. He believed in Arthur's abilities as a warrior.

For a moment, it actually looked like Arthur would win, but then he failed to lift his sword. Merlin knew something was wrong. How could Arthur be unable to lift his sword?! Was he injured? The enemy kicked him hard, causing him to fall to the ground, but Arthur got up, but it wasn't enough. Merlin saw that the blade would hit the king, and he had to use magic to stop it. It succeeded, and Arthur grabbed the other's sword and pushed him backwards so that the enemy fell on his back. Arthur was victorious. But he did not kill his opponent. The old, merciful Arthur was back for good now. Merlin never wanted to lose him out of sight ever again.

They returned to Camelot as heros. Or, at least Arthur was a hero. Nobody else had done any fighting. The streets were full of happy people, wanting to share their love for the king. They were waving with flags and cheering; "Long live the king!" over and over again. Confetti was thrown out from windows, and flowers in front of the horses. Everyone was smiling, and nobody was hurt. Just because Arthur had done what he felt was right.

_Alright, I am SO sorry for not updating this before now. I've been celebrating christmas, and I've been sick. Before that, I had no inspiration whatsoever. I promise you, I will not delay the next chapter this much. And, I just gotta say; I've just watched the last episodes of season 5 and oh holy shit. I died a little inside, like seriously. Go watch them if you haven't already. Yes, I guess that's it. Please fave/follow or leave a review!_


	21. Chapter 21 My Killer, My Lover

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 21 - My killer, My Lover_

You'd think that after all the bad things that had happened in the Valley of the Fallen Kings, Arthur would've learned to _not_ take that route, but no. Merlin tried to warn, him of course, but he just came off as a sissy, like he normally did.

"The passage is secret, Merlin, that's why we chose it." Arthur said with a smirk on his face. Merlin knew how much he loved to feel all-mighty, and it was seriously getting on his nerves.

As if to prove Merlin right, and Arthur wrong, they suddenly heard a roar from something that could be nothing else than a horde of bandits, storming them with axes, swords and other weapons. Luckily, the groupe of Camelot-knights (and Merlin) were riding their horses, so getting away wouldn't be that hard, right?

"Looks like it isn't secret after all." Merlin just had to say.

"No need to get cocky!" Arthur sneered, and spun his horse around to escape, but just as he did, another group of enemies showed up, blocking their way. Merlin looked around, trying to find a hole in their tactics, but he couldn't see one. And just to make things worse, about fifteen men on horses suddenly showed up. They galloped towards Arthur's little group, with their swords drawn and ready for action.

Everything was chaos. Arthur had gotten pulled down from his horse, and was now fighting as many people as he could on the ground. Merlin's eyes were constantly on him, making sure he was safe. He saw an enemy on a horse running towards him.

"Arthur!" he shouted, but Arthur was too busy to hear him. Merlin had no choice but to use his magic. The attack resulted in the man falling off his horse.

Merlin got no time to look around, as another man attacked himself, and something hit him in the chest, causing him to fall over.

Arthur saw it, obviously, because he came running, and lifted Merlin up, supporting his weight by giving him his shoulders to lean on.

"Lean on me, we'll get the hell out of here." he said, and as quickly as Merlin's wobbly legs allowed, they ran for it. Luckily, because the battlefield was such a mess, they managed to get away and hide within the dark of the forest. However, they weren't safe, yet. Dusins of times they almost got seen.

"They really need to work out their anger." Merlin joked, trying to calm Arthur down, because he could see that he was really stressed out. It felt kind of nice to see him worry so much, but of course he never liked to see his king uncomfortable.

"They just did, on you!" Arthur answered, halfly joining in on the joke, but still serious. Merlin laughed, a nervous laughter, because underneath his tunic, he could feel warm blood trickling down his chest and stomach.

They moved to another hideout, Arthur still helping Merlin. If anything, Merlin felt weaker. Not really that much of a shock, he knew he was losing a lot of blood.

"With a day's rest, you'll be polishing my armour in no time!" Arthur said, both to himself and Merlin. The warlock knew he was growing really nervous. Maybe he had noticed that Merlin needed even more support in walking? "It could definitely do with a good scrub." Arthur continued, before helping Merlin sit down. They were both out of breath from stabling around in the now dark forest for too long. Arthur lifted Merlin's tunic to take a look at the injury. Merlin hadn't seen it himself, but now that he did, his face grew a bit pale. Arthur became white as a ghost, and Merlin knew that he understood how serious it was. Arthur quickly came back to his old self, and tried to calm his beloved sorcerer.

"I've definitely seen worse." he said. It wasn't a lie, he had seen much worse, but not on a body that still had a beating heart. Merlin tried to keep calm, but it wasn't that easy.

"I'm a dead man." he said, with a faint smile. It was kind of a question, but he didn't really want an honest answer.

"You're not going to die, Merlin." Arthur said, soothingly and tousled his hair. "Don't be such a coward." he didn't really mean that. It was just that his mouth was getting dry, his heart was racing, and he could feel an unpleasant feeling down in his guts. He was honestly scared of losing Merlin.

"If I do die, will you call me a hero?" Merlin asked, smiling bravely. It was to support Arthur, to make him feel better.

"Probably."

"So, when I'm still alive I'm a coward?" Merlin said, trying to keep a conversation. It helped to take his mind off the pain.

"It's the way these things work I'm afraid. You get the glory when you're not around to appreciate it."

"Unless you're the king." Merlin joked, and tried to laugh. The pain in his chest grew, and he put his hand on it to keep the blood _inside _his body.

"Oh, come on, it's gotta have some advantages."

"You do have a very good servant." Merlin said, putting more pressure on his wound, and hissing. He felt like he had difficulties breathing.

"You're right. I do. A servant who is extremely brave, and loyal. Not at all cowardly." Arthur said, and pulled Merlin into a hug, making sure they both lay comfortably. Arthur with his back against a tree, and Merlin in his lap. He put his arms around him, holding him tightly so that he wouldn't be scared. Merlin just sat there, breathing heavily, squeezing Arthurs arm to the point where his fists turned white.

They stayed like this the whole night, silent, because they the forest at night is supposed to be quiet. They couldn't risk getting caught. Arthur actually fell asleep, but woke up as he heard noises around them. The enemy was very close.

"I would've loved to stay like this for another ten minutes and rest, but we really have to go." he said, getting up, and lifting Merlin up in his strong arms. Merlin's slim body and low weight really came in handy at these occasions.  
"Leave me." Merlin said with his teeth clenched, obviously in pain.

"Now is not the time for jokes." Arthur said, and made his way through the forest, as silently as possible.

Unfortunately, an enemy soon spotted them (if he hadn't, he'd be blind, because they were right in front of him). Arthur put Merlin down, very carefully, then drew his sword and engaged in a battle with the other man. Another one soon showed up. Arthur killed them, and looked back at Merlin, to see dusins of hostiles run towards him. They ran past Merlin, only focusing on Arthur. Arthur knew they were way too many for him, but it wasn't like he was going to leave Merlin there. He made ready to fight them, but he didn't get the chance.

He saw rocks suddenly falling down, blocking the passage back to Merlin, and trapping Merlin behind together with the enemy.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, before he understood that it was Merlin's doing. He was trying to save him._ Stupid Merlin! This isn't your decision! _Arthur tried to remove the rocks to get back to Merlin, but they were too heavy, and he was too exhausted. Climbing over them was impossible too. He tried to make his way around the whole area, but when he got to where he thought he had left Merlin, he was gone. He could have called out for him, but that wouldn't really be a good idea, since this place could still be swarming with enemies. Merlin _had _just saved his life, regardless of how selfish Arthur thought that was, he was not going to let Merlin's sacrifice go to waist. No, the only logical thing to do was to return to Camelot.

He heard a noise, and turned to face that way, and managed to draw his sword just in time to prevent sir Leon from cutting off his head.

"Sire!"  
"Nice to see you too!" Arthur said, and saw that all his friends were safe, heaven knew how they all had managed to escape. But then again, they were really skilled warriors.

Together, they all returned to Camelot.

As soon as they got back, Arthur organized for a search-party, and of course he was one of the members. He couldn't stay out all day and night to search for Merlin though, as much as he wanted to. Just because sir Leon (well, everybody had kind of figured it out by themselves) that they had a traitor in Camelot. Of course there was a traitor. Their plans had been known only to a few men.

When the patrol returned, Arthur got up from his chair, but he knew they hadn't found him.

"We've looked everywhere, Arthur, there is no sign of Merlin." his uncle said. "None, but this." he held out a piece of Merlin's brown jacket. Arthur bit his lip. "I'm sorry you've lost such a-"

"_I have not lost him! He is alive! And I WILL find him!" _Arthur shouted as his uncle, who stepped backwards, taken aback by Arthur's sudden rage. It was just the way his uncle had said 'I'm sorry'. It made him seem like he didn't give a damn that Merlin was gone. Which he wasn't! Arthur _was_ going to find him. "I'll find him. No matter what it takes." he mumbled through glittered teeth, none heard it, even though the room was as silent as the grave. "I'll look for him first thing in the morning." Arthur said. Sir Leon was about to protest, but Arthur looked at him with a death-glare that almost could compare to one of Uther's, and he shut up. Arthur wasn't in the mood for anything right now, he only wanted Merlin back. And he _would_ get him back, whatever it took.

Arthur hadn't slept much (how could he?), but he must have gotten some sleep, because he did actually wake up from some kind of sleep. And, the first thing he saw was something rather unpleasant. It was a man, not Merlin, nor anyone he knew. He noticed he was dressed in servant robes. Was he a new guy who had walked into the wrong room? Arthur honestly wasn't in the mood to play guessing-games, so he just asked. He was the king after all.

"Who are you?"  
"I am your new manservant, sire. I have polished your armour, sharpened your sword, selected your clothes... There is a slight chill, in the air today, sir. And now, if you would allow me, I would like to serve you breakfast." he said in a way to 'professional' way. He was like the complete opposite of Merlin.

Arthur looked over at the table, to find covered in something that looked like a banquet. Was it supposed to be his breakfast? All of that? Arthur didn't want to be rude, so the least thing he could do was ask for his name.

"What's your name?"

"George, sire. At your service." he said, and gave Arthur a napkin.

"Listen, George, it's all very impressive. Very impressive indeed, but I already have a manservant." Arthur took his time mumbling some bad things about Merlin's skills as a servant (but hey, he made up for them in other ways, right) Arthur blushed slightly at that thought, but pulled himself together. "Despite Merlin's lack of skills, he still is my servant, and to be honest, I quite like it that way." he said, and hurried out of bed before George got to say a word.

He was going out for his planned search. It didn't seem like any of the knights were keen to come with him after yesterdays episode, but of course Gwaine hadn't understood anything about the atmosphere back then, and was already waiting for him. Arthur moaned at the thought of spending a day with _just_ Gwaine. He would probably talk his head to pieces. Oh well, it was better if they were two, the mercenaries could still be out there.

They had been searching for about two hours, and it took a lot of Arthur's self discipline not to kill Gwaine (or at least cut out his tongue). He heard a noise in front of them, as if something, or someone, was there. He held up his hand to shut Gwaine up, really happy for the excuse to finally get some silence. Arthur jumped off his horse, bringing his sword, and carefully walked towards the sound.  
"Declare yourself." he said, calmly. And, stumbling out of the bushes, tripping over a root in a manner only that man could accomplish, came Merlin. He was mostly covered in mud, and kind of hard to recognize, but Arthur would know him anywhere. "Merlin!" he said, and let go of his sword, running towards his servant. When the few meters between them were gone, he could finally hug him. _God I never want to lose him like that again. _He would have kissed him, if it wasn't for the fact that Gwaine was there, although knowing him he probably wouldn't mind? But Merlin was covered in mud anyway so it wouldn't have been very pleasant.

Arthur wanted to just have Merlin all to himself for the rest of the day, but then again, his poor servant should get some rest. He had been captured, and luckily managed to escape, no doubt that it would've been exhausting. Luckily, his wound had been treated, for some reason... Arthur was too happy to put a question mark behind everything, and just let things slide, basically.

When they returned to Camelot, Gwen was even kind enough to make him some lunch. She probably thought that Merlin needed the rest too. But, just as he sat down to eat, thanking her, Merlin walked in, not looking too pleased.

"Oh, I might have known!" he sneered, and his eyes hot fires at Gwen.

"Hello, Merlin." Arthur said, keeping a casual tone.

"What's this?"

"Eh... Lunch?" Arthur raised his brow, looking at Merlin.

"Look, I know you like to take every opportunity to be by his side, but this is just getting ridiculous. Will you be pouring his bathwater next?" Merlin spat at Gwen, in a tone that was _not_ like Merlin at all.

"Merlin, is something wrong?"_ He is probably just tired. _

"This is what's wrong!" he said, pointing his finger accusing at the dish Gwen had prepared.

"I was just trying to help? I thought you needed some rest..." Gwen said, and just like Arthur, it sounded like she had trouble understanding what had gotten into Merlin.

"Rest? No! I don't need rest! Do you know how long it took me to prepare this meal? I cooked it myself." he said, and lifted the other dish of the table, putting down his own. To be a 'Merlin-meal', it actually looked better than usual. Arthur grabbed the plate from Merlin, putting Gwen's version of his lunch down again, and handing Merlin's back.

"I think this is just a misunderstanding." he said, calmly. Merlin crossed his arms.

"Well, you would take her side, wouldn't you?" he said, now a bit angry?

"Excuse me?" sure, they were lovers, but this was not a manner Merlin should be addressing him in. "Merlin, I think you must be tired. You've been through quite a lot." he insisted. He looked into Merlin's blue eyes, trying to see what was wrong. Was he jealous of Gwen? How could he be? Didn't he know how much he was loved? Was it because Arthur hadn't tried to rescue him?

"I just want to resume my normal duties." Merlin said, slowly, in a low tone, as if he was about to explode with anger. Arthur kept calm, even if it was a bit scary, seeing Merlin like this. Not that he would ever be afraid of his servant, he knew Merlin would _never_ hurt him, whatever wrong Arthur had done him, he wouldn't hurt him. He knew that.

"Well, I'll be happy to have your service helping me prepare for the knighting-ceremony later today." Then they would have time to talk. He needed to know what was wrong. Hopefully, Merlin was just stressed out and tired. Yeah, that was probably it.

"Thank you, sire." Merlin said, after a few seconds of hesitation. With another glare at Gwen, he left the room without saying anything else, carrying his turned-down-meal with him.

Even letting Merlin help him prepare for the knighting-ceremony was to overwork Merlin, but Arthur wouldn't have let him, if he didn't feel like they needed to talk. Maybe Merlin was mad because Arthur hadn't paid enough attention to him when he returned? Arthur went through every possibility in his mind, but couldn't land on one that was more likely than the others.

"Talk about bad use of time... There is a traitor in our midst, and I have to prepare for a knighting-ceremony." he said, as he walked into his chambers. "Maybe it's one of the knights who wants to kill me." he looked at Merlin for a response. Merlin didn't answer. "Maybe it's you." Arthur said with a short laugh. Merlin's silence and odd behavior was really making him worry now. Hopefully now Merlin would say something like 'I don't want to kill you, I'd never hurt you, but...' and then explain why he was so mad. But he didn't say anything. "Oh, not that I really think you want to kill me." he said, again trying to indicate that he needed to know what was wrong. But, Merlin remained silent. Just how mad was he?

"What do you think about Percival?" Arthur said, still trying to keep up a conversation. It was rather difficult, since Merlin was silent, or he spat words back at it as if it was painful to talk to him.

"He is very big." Merlin answered, showing his complete lack of interest. Wasn't it more like Merlin to give his all to find this trator who was a threat to Arthur's life? _Have I really misunderstood him this much? _Or, was it because of what had happened a while ago? With the whole 'breaking up'-incident. Arthur had apologized for that a hundred times! Every time it popped into his mind he would hug Merlin and say that he would never say anything stupid like that again, and that he did _not _mean it! Didn't Merlin believe him?

"I do find it hard to believe that any of my knights would think ill of me but... I can't trust anyone. In fact, I think you, Merlin, is the only person I _can_ trust." if that didn't do it, then he would just have to ask him straight out what was wrong. But Merlin didn't say anything.

Gaius and Gwen suddenly appeared in the door. "I know, I know, I'm late." he said, and was about to exit." he heard Merlin collapsing behind him. "Merlin? You alright?" Merlin still didn't answer. "Get some rest." Arthur said, picking up his sword that Merlin obviously had been trying to give to him. He would've made a lot more fuss about Merlin collapsing like that, hadn't it been for Gaius and Gwen standing in the doorway. Well, now that Gaius was here he would probably look after Merlin anyway, and Arthur was king and needed to get to the ceremony. So he left them.

Arthur had spent most of the time in the ceremony trying to come up with an answer to who the traitor was. It helped him take his mind off Merlin. He honestly needed a rest from his worries on that front. The person he had landed on was... Agravaine. He hadn't done _anything _to help Arthur, ever. All his counselling had led to disaster, and Arthur only remembered that his family had always let him down. Well, his father hadn't, but he hadn't exactly done anything for Arthur either. Morgana, who had been like a sister to him, had betrayed him. Maybe there was something about Arthur's being that made his closest ones betray him.

So, this was the reason for Arthur ending up in his uncle's chambers.

"Arthur?" he said, looking up from his papers. He smiled, not seeing the seriousness of Arthur's expression. "An unexpected pleasure." he said, still smiling, and got up from his chair.

"There is something I wish to discuss with you, uncle." Arthur didn't really know how to start this whole conversation, so he played it safe. He _was _king, and his uncle, even if he was older, was his substitute, there was no doubt about that.

"Of course." he said, still trying to be friendly, but Arthur wouldn't fall for that.

"I'm afraid I don't take the matter of the traitor as lightly as you do."

"Sire, I hope you don't-" Arthur cut him off by holding his hand up.

"I have been looking into how the mercenaries discovered our route through the forest. None of the knights had the opportunity to betray me. Among the council, only three were aware of the treaty, among those, only you knew the route I was planning to take."

"Are you seriously suggesting that-"

"It brings me no pleasure to doubt you, uncle." Arthur said, still staying stone-cold and serious down to the bone.

"Then let me reassure you, that you have _no _reason to doubt! You are all that is left of my dear sister! If I betray you, Arthur, I betray her. And that, I will never do!" Arthur still didn't really believe him. But he wanted to, he so badly wanted to... He wanted a family, and Agravaine was the only one left. "In the council, there is one other who knew the route... Gaius." Arthur didn't answer to that, he just turned around and left.

He couldn't think straight. There was no way Gaius would betray him. He was a skilled physician, surely, if he wanted to kill Arthur he could just poison him or something? Arthur wouldn't believe that Gaius was a traitor! He was like a father to Merlin, which meant he was loyal to Merlin, who was loyal to Arthur. Gaius had known Arthur from his birth. No, it couldn't be him. It had to be his uncle... God, he had to talk to someone about this. He needed to ask Merlin for his opinion. He would probably help him... If it hadn't been for the fact that Merlin was furious with him... For some reason.

He returned to his chambers, and just after he had closed the door, Merlin swung it open, entering hasty. His eyes were in tears, and it was clear that he had been running, for he was out of breath.

"Merlin, what on earth is the matter?" Arthur asked, stepping closer to his servant, to be able to catch him if he collapsed again, because it honestly look like he had difficulties standing.

"I... I tried to kill you!" he said, his eyes red from crying, and tears still streaming down his cheeks, making his skin shine in the pale light of the room.

"What are you talking about?"

"Morgana... I... Something in my neck, it's controlling my actions. Gaius has stunned it, but only for a while, tomorrow, it will be back... And I will... Try to kill you." he sobbed, and gripped hold of Arthur's shirt, holding on for bare life. "Please, Arthur. Kill me. Kill me before I can do anything more to try to hurt you... While I am still myself. Please. _Kill me!_"

It was all a bit too much for Arthur to take in at once. What the hell was Merlin talking about?! He still couldn't help but feel relieved that Merlin at least didn't hate him. He put his arms around his shaking servant.

"I know you'd never hurt me." Arthur said, softly, trying to calm him down.

"Of course I wouldn't! It's not me! It's Morgana! She is just using my body to do her actions..." he explained, still holding onto Arthur, as if he was going to die if he let go. "I don't want to be a threat to your life... Arthur... Please... While I still know who I am. Kill me." he begged, and his voice cracked at the end, and he started crying, unable to get out any other words. Arthur hugged him tightly.

"Merlin, calm down..." he whispered. He didn't really know what to do, Merlin was really broken. "Listen to me..." But Merlin didn't listen, he just kept on crying. "Listen to me!" Arthur said, and grabbed Merlin's chin, forcing him to look at him. "I won't kill you. No matter the reason, or the consequences, I will _never _kill you, or let anything happen to you. I'd rather die."

"No! Arthur! What if I actually succeed in killing you!? I will never be able to live with myself... Please! Kill me..." he almost couldn't speak from panting to much, due the the crying.

"There must be another way. We'll find another way." he said, determined and put as much conviction as he could into his words. Merlin looked at him, and when he met Arthur's eyes, he could see just how serious he was. And he knew that he wouldn't kill him, no matter what. Because he really _did _love him more than anything. And he couldn't take it anymore. His legs gave in to his weight, and he fell. Although not far, because Arthur's strong arms held him, pulling him even closer. "I love you." Arthur said, softly. He really hadn't said it enough. He should tell Merlin every day, because he loved him just as much every day. He should tell him all the time! Because he always loved him... Always.

After speaking to Gaius and looking through some books, they actually _did _find a solution. Merlin had to go to Morgana's house and kill the mother beast of the snake-head that was stuck in his neck. If the mother died, Merlin would be free. Arthur wanted to come with him, but Merlin just shook his head, and said that it was too dangerous. Morgana shouldn't be allowed to come close to Arthur. Unwillingly, Arthur agreed to the plan.

Arthur had never been this worried in his life. Okay, he probably had worried this much about Merlin before, but he had never been so aware of the danger Merlin was in. He paced back and forth in his room, every time he heard a noise he jumped towards the door to see if Merlin was outside. But, most of the times it was nothing. He was feeling really paranoid. He _was _paranoid. And Merlin didn't return.

Not until the next morning, that is. Arthur had collapsed on his bed after pacing what must have been miles. He woke up to the most pleasant thing ever. One of Merlin's "Rise and shine!" he was wide awake instantly and jumped up from his bed.

"Merlin! You're back!"

"I'm back." Merlin said, and smiled that wide smile that only belonged on the _real _Merlin's face. God how adorable he was. Arthur didn't really care about anything right now, he just launched himself at Merlin, pushing him hard into the wall.

"And you don't want to kill me?" he said, with a smile.

"No." Merlin answered, before kissing his king. Arthur sighed, he had longed for the feeling of Merlin's lips on his for a while now. He slowly pushed his tongue into his mouth to taste him. God, he tasted good... Arthur didn't want to hold back. He _wanted _Merlin, even if it was almost midday, and he was probably going to get called to a meeting any minute.

He removed his scarf (stupid thing was always blocking the view of Merlin's perfect neck) He kissed the now revealed skin making his servant gasp, the area around his veins were really sensitive, and Arthur placed dozens of small bites, along that lines, leaving pink marks. They wouldn't really be visible anyway. He wanted to feel more of Merlin's flesh with his tongue, and pulled off his jacket, and continued with his blue tunic. With the whole of Merlin's upper body in front of him, he got to feel all of that sensitive skin... Got to feel him shiver when he licked his way down to his nipples. "Ah... Arthur..." Merlin whispered, clearly indicating that if they didn't stop now, there was no going back. But Arthur was way past that already. Seeing Merlin like this turned him on like nothing else, and he knew he needed his servant. Arthur put two fingers in front of Merlin's mouth, and pushed them in.

"Saliva, Merlin... Cover them." he breathed out, still licking Merlin's body. Merlin's face was heated up from lust, and he sucked on Arthur's fingers, covering them as much as he could. Arthur soon pulled them out, and they were dripping with sweet saliva that Arthur knew tasted so good. It was almost a waist not to drink all of it, but he needed to prepare Merlin. He let the slippery fingers slide down his back and further down, until he pushed them both inside of him without warning. Merlin moaned, and grabbed hold of Arthur's shoulders. Arthur pushed the fingers up, and scissored them to widen Merlin's entrance. Merlin gasped and moaned, as Arthur slowly worked his fingers in and out of him. While still fingerfucking him, Arthur's other hand played with his nipples, and he kissed him deeply. Merlin's mouth was still full of spit that Arthur's tongue tried to get as much of as possible. Soon, saliva was dripping down from the corner of Merlin's mouth, because it couldn't fit in his mouth together with Arthur's tongue. "We should move to the bed." Arthur suggested, but Merlin just shook his head.

"No... No, against the wall, Arthur... Do me.. Against the wall." he moaned, unable to bear with the state his body was in. And Arthur was still just using his fingers. God, he needed to do this more, Merlin's body _craved _to get this kind of attention more often.

Arthur was now getting painfully hard, and couldn't wait any longer, as much as he loved to finger Merlin while watching him twitch and moan in pleasure. He turned Merlin around, pulling his pants all the way down, and quickly opened his own. He positioned himself, before pushing into him, hard and fast. Merlin was well prepared, but it was still a bit painful, which his loud moan gave away. Arthur kissed his neck to make him calm down, before he started to push even. "Arthur... Too slow..." Merlin hissed, and Arthur started moving a bit faster. He knew he couldn't go too fast, or he would just cum before he even got the chance to fuck Merlin properly. Merlin was just too god damn sexy for his own good. As Merlin moaned, he had to pick up his pace, and that made him moan even louder. And so it continued. Harder. Faster. Arthur didn't even need to touch Merlin this time. Being inside of him was enough to make his servant scream out his name and spill his cum all over the floor underneath them and on the wall. Arthur vision turned white as he thrust deep inside of Merlin, and came. They were both shaking, coming down from their heights, and Arthur could barely stand. He pulled out from Merlin, who instantly turned around to lean his back against the wall. Arthur too needed the support from the wall, and he put his arms on either side of Merlin. He definitely needed to do Merlin more often.

_Oh God what am I doing. EH. Threw in a smut-scene at the end there for you guys, since you are all very patient with me and my late updating. Sorry about it... At least this chapter is rather long! I will try (although I won't promise anything) to update sooner rather than later. Anyways, if you like this fanfiction, please fave/follow and reviews are always deeply appreciated! __**Also, if you have an episode you would like to see in this fiction, please let me know! **__Many people wanted to see this episode (even though I didn't really want to write from it), but it turned out alright, I guess. So, keep that in mind. Take care, and thank you!_


	22. Chapter 22 Like It Never Happened

_(I fought them all off)_

_**Just to hold you close and tight**_

_by dr. Tea._

_Chapter 22 - Like It Never Happened_

"What's taking you so long?" Arthur asked. Merlin mumbled something, while trying to put another hole in his belt without the king noticing. He didn't want him to know that he _had _been putting on a lot of weight lately. Which was weird, considering how much he worked out. It was probably this whole roll of banquets that did the damage. Never the less, Arthur didn't really need that to be thrown in his face, so Merlin intended to keep it a secret. Merlin wondered if Arthur's figure would turn out like Uther's.

"Well, it's the feast of Genli, the king must look kingly." Merlin said, too busy to come up with a good explanation.

"I'm hardly going to look kingly in my undergarments, am I?"

"Have a little patience. Think of something pleasant..."

"You against the wall." Merlin blushed.

"Wait one second..."

"One." Arthur counted, and turned around. Merlin quickly hid the belt behind his back.

"What have you got there?"

"Nothing. My hand," Merlin held up his hand. "My other hand." he held up the other. Arthur turned Merlin around in one movement, revealing what he was hiding behind his back. Well, it was Arthur's own problem, Merlin had just tried to be kind.

"Why are you putting another hole in this belt?" Arthur asked, after a moments hesitation.

"I was enhancing it. More comfort, and ease of use." Merlin said, trying to break it to Arthur as kindly as possible.

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"No! I'm saying that the belt is one hole shy of perfection!"

"Ridiculous!" Arthur said, and tried to put the belt around himself. As Merlin had anticipated, it did not fit. Merlin knew Arthur's body well, and the belt _was _too small.

"It's probably all those banquets and feasts... It goes with the job, you know..." Merlin said, trying to make up excuses for the king.

"Alright, Merlin, do what has to be done. And not a _word _about this to anyone!"

"Trust me, if there is one thing I'm good at, it's keeping secrets." Merlin said and smiled, Arthur did not look too reassured. Merlin couldn't wait to use it against the king for some fun. And a banquet full of guests and the knights surely was not a bad time at all.

He used it at the first opportunity. He made Percival spill his drink while laughing. Even if Arthur sneered at him, it was so _totally _worth it.

Poor Arthur did look a bit put off.

"Are you alright?" Not that Arthur would ever get hurt over something so little as being called fat. Which he hadn't even called him. Just because he had lost some of his figure didn't mean he was _fat. _

"I don't like to be called fat, Merlin." "And where is my uncle? I haven't seen him all evening, that's not like him. Do you think something has happened?" Merlin just shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sure he's fine." Merlin didn't really care about the uncle, because he knew he was a traitor, and it was only out of mercy that he hadn't told Arthur yet. He knew he probably should have, but the poor king needed someone in his family who weren't trying to kill him.

The alarm suddenly rang, loud for everyone to hear. Arthur got up instantly, and his knights followed. Gwaine came running.

"Sire! We're under attack! They're within the city walls!" Arthur reacted momentarily.

"Merlin, get everyone to the inner chamber!"

"Yes, sire! Everyone, follow me!" Merlin said, taking the task that was given to him without hesitation.

In just a few minutes, the peaceful banquet had turned out to a warzone. Merlin had done his job, and was now helping Gaius with the wounded. The lower town was already lost, and it was only a matter of time before the city town would follow. He couldn't stay with the old man for long, because he had to be by Arthur's side.

When he found him, he almost feared it was too late. Arthur had been hit.

"Arthur!" he quickly ran to the king, so that he could lean on him. They were still being attacked, but Merlin made short work of the hostile soldiers with his magic.

As they ran, Merlin wanted to know just how bad Arthur was hurt.

"I'm fine! Maybe a broken rib or two." he mumbled, just after hissing in pain as he leaned against the wall. They peaked around the corner, and saw Morgana (with an army), some guy and... Agravaine. Merlin looked at Arthur. It looked like he didn't believe his own eyes, and then he could see the fury building up inside of him. He was about to rush out and kill his uncle for his treason, but Merlin stopped him.

"Arthur! No! There are too many of them! We can deal with your uncle later, alright?" Merlin said, while he pulled Arthur away from the scene.

They somehow managed to make it to the hall, the only place where the enemy had not reached. But they couldn't hold it for much longer. Merlin knew he had to get Arthur out of there, because if he was found, he would definitely be killed.

"Arthur, we need to get you out of here." Merlin said, but Arthur shook his head violently.

"I will not abandon my people!"  
"If they find you they will ki-"

"I don't care what happens to me! I _will _fight!" Merlin bit his lip, and made the decision. He had said that he would never use magic on Arthur without his permission but... He had to do this. Merlin had never tried this spell before, but he knew what it did. It made one lose one's will. He enchanted Arthur in a second.

Gwaine and Percival came running with the news that they couldn't hold them back any longer.

"Sire, we need to go, now!" Merlin said, and prayed that the spell had worked.

"Of course." Arthur said, in a tone that was so not Arthur. Gwaine and Percival looked confused at the uncharacteristic answer, but seemed happy about it nonetheless and grabbed Arthur.

"Then let's go!"

Gwaine and Gaius stayed behind, even though Merlin argued. But there was no stopping them, and Merlin had to stay with Arthur no matter what. It ended with Merlin, Arthur and Percival escaping into the woods. Merlin was glad that Percival was with them, because he knew he would not be able to carry support Arthur physically the way Percival could.

"Thank you, Percival!" Arthur said, a bit too loudly, and so out of character that it would have been funny if not for the circumstances.

"Can you walk on your own?"

"Oh yes, just put me in the right direction!"

They met up with Elyan who also had managed to escape, and together they made their way even faster. It was dusk, darkness almost upon them. Merlin felt his heart beat fast, and he was regretting the spell. He hadn't just taken away Arthur's will, he seemed to have taken away his skills and witt too.

"We need to find a safe place for Arthur!" Eliyan stated what they were all thinking. Merlin came up with the only place where he'd feel safe.

"I know a place... Ealdor!" Merlin said, the others nodded in agreement as Merlin guided them to the path that would lead them to their destination.

They were being followed, Merlin could hear the sound of horses chasing them. They were closing in.

"Run!" Percival yelled. But there was no way they could outrun horses. Merlin could see them coming out of the fog like ghosts. A spell from Morgana hit them, they fell to the ground, but got up rather quickly. Merlin grabbed hold of Arthur's arm to not lose him, and ran for their lives.

They lost Percival in the chaos, but had to continue. Everything for Arthur. Poor Arthur was running as quickly as he could with his newfound mind and his wound.

"Go!" Elyan said, and stopped, he was going to hold them back.

"What about you?" Merlin yelled, even though he know it was pointless to make him come with them.

"Don't worry about me, just go!" Merlin did as he was ordered, and together with Arthur he hurried away from the hunters.

They managed to get away, thanks to Elyan's sacrifice.

"I think we're safe..." Merlin said, mostly to himself as Arthur stumbled into him.

"Sorry! My fault! My fault!" God, he was so out of character!

"We need to find you some clothes, you're too conspicuous in that outfit."

"Whatever you say, I'm entirely in your hands." Merlin had never heard Arthur said that to anyone ever. It was weird, and he didn't really like it. He wondered how long the spell would last, because honestly, he didn't know.

Well, in the future, if Merlin wanted fun, he'd know which spell to use. Arthur as a simpleton was _too _good. Merlin tried to make the best of it, because he knew that when he returned to normal he would be furious. Or maybe he wouldn't? Merlin didn't _have _to tell him that he used magic on him, he could say that he drugged him, or that he had hit his head? But Arthur wasn't thick, he would see right through his lies. So much for the promise of not using magic on the king. But it had been an emergency. Arthur wouldn't see it that way. Merlin shook his head to clear his thoughts. There was no use worrying about it right now, he would just have to deal with Arthur when the time came.

They stole some clothes for Arthur. They were way too small, but fitted to his role perfectly. He now looked even more retarded. Merlin couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He had turned Arthur into a naive, simple minded person who relied totally on him. But Merlin didn't know if he was ready to take completely care of Arthur. Of course, he could take care of him, but this was like looking after a kid.

Merlin suddenly heard a sound.

"Wait here." he said, slowly, and he even pointed at the ground to make his point. He sneaked over the little hill to see what was over the other side, and saw a caravan. Probably smugglers or something like that. He was about to turn around when he felt a sword on his back. A woman had spotted him.

Of course, Arthur had not done as he was told, and soon stumbled down the hill like a less talented acrobat. They were both taken to who had to be the 'leader' of the party.

"Found them lurking around in the woods." the woman said as an explanation. The man she was talking to turned around and looked at the intruders. Arthur just smiled dumbly, and Merlin was trying to work out a way of how they could turn this to their advantage.

"You should watch where you stick your nose, boy." the man said.  
"We didn't see anything, I promise."

"What's wrong with your friend?" he asked after a look on Arthur's retarded expression.

"He's a simpleton, he can't help it."

"Taking care of him, are you?"

"Without me he wouldn't last a day." Merlin said with a sly smile.

"It's true." Arthur said, almost making Merlin laugh.  
"And where are you going?"

"Just over the border..."

"Well, I guess you could be on your way." the man said. Merlin knew he should be happy they were allowed to leave.

"Could we not come with you... I mean... I would be happy for the company, honestly." Merlin said, and he knew he was pushing it.  
"I am very annoying." Arthur said. _God he is good with coming up with lines for his character. _Merlin thought.  
"You should just be happy I let you go."

"We could pay you! With gold!" Merlin said, quickly. The man smiled.

"Why didn't you say so before?"

This was a good cover, travelling with smugglers. Now that they could ride a cart it went faster too. This way, when they stopped to set up camp they were way further from Camelot than Merlin could've hoped for. The spell was still working on Arthur, and Merlin was beginning to fear that it was permanent. It wasn't a very hard spell, and to be completely honest he hadn't really read all about it either. If it was permanent, he'd have to go back to Camelot and get that damn book to see if there was anything he could do. He seriously couldn't have Arthur staying a retard for the rest of his life.

Arthur was way nicer this way though, (he even did the dishes!). But it was like being with somebody else. Merlin couldn't even bring himself to touch him when he was in this state. He would feel like he was taking advantage of a helpless... Something. He fell asleep too tired of worrying about how Arthur would react when (and if) he woke up from the spell.

The next morning, Merlin's eyes flew open as someone kicked him.

"You better have a _damn _good explanation for this, Merlin." Arthur said, and he did not look pleased at all. Merlin tilted his head. _Is he back? _Arthur looked even more annoyed when he didn't receive an answer. "Fine, I'll just carry on kicking you then." he said and kicked Merlin again. Merlin hurried to his feet, grabbing Arthur's shoulders to hold him still.

"You're back!"

"What do you mean I'm back? You're talking gibberish!" Arthur said and pulled away from Merlin, like he was uncomfortable with the contact. Merlin made a 'please lower your voice' movement with his arm.

"Listen to me, Arthur, Camelot is lost. You were injured in an attack, you passed out. I had to get you out of there." he looked at Arthur to see how he took it. His big, blue eyes looked like they were in panic for about half a second, until Arthur pulled himself together.

"Where are we now?" he was obviously trying to stay calm while understanding the situation. Merlin was surprised that Arthur didn't suspect him using magic on him. But then again, he had no idea what if felt like to be under that spell, so maybe Arthur thought he actually had passed out.

"We're heading to Ealdor, I think we'll be safe there." Merlin explained. "Hopefully the knights will meet us there." Arthur was looking around, seeing that they weren't alone.

"Who are these people?"

"They are... Smugglers." Merlin said.

"Smugglers?!"

"Sh!"

"Alright, let's assume for one moment that you know what you're doing. It doesn't explain why I look like a village idiot." Arthur sounded angry, like this was all Merlin's fault. Some gratitude!

"It's the perfect disguise! Nobody will ever suspect you of being... You know... Who you are."

"I'm sorry Merlin, but I'm not going around looking like this." Arthur said.

"You have to! You've gotta keep in character!"

"Character?" Poor Arthur had no idea what Merlin was talking about. "What character?" he soon got his answer, as the party leader (Tristan was his name), walked up to Merlin.

"We leave as soon as the horses are watered. Explain it to the simpleton, would you?" Merlin looked back at Arthur with a 'please don't kill me'-expression. Arthur seemed to be mostly in shock, and way too busy trying to believe what he was hearing to conjure plans of murdering his servant.

He somehow managed to persuade Arthur to keep in character. It hadn't been easy, but even Arthur couldn't argue that it was the perfect disguise. Merlin soon found out that acting was not Arthur's strongest point. He hardly managed to trick Tristan, with his 'yarr', what did he think he was playing? A pirate? But before Arthur could do any more stupid things to ruin the play the camp was attacked.

Tristan and Isana sure got a shock when Arthur's character turned 180 degrees.

"Head for those trees! We'll cover you!" he said, picking up a crossbow. They were in cover behind the cart, but the soldiers would soon be upon them. Merlin picked up a weapon too. The two Arthur had given orders just stared at him in disbelief. "Do you wanna live or not?!" they did as they were told. Merlin and Arthur held the enemy back as best they could, but they were only two, so it wasn't much they could do really. Soon, they too had to retreat after Tristan and the woman.

"Who the hell are you?!" he demanded to know.

"My name is Arthur Pendragon."

"The king of Camelot!" Tristan spat. Arthur was unmoved.

"At least I was."

Their 'cover' didn't last for long, as they were ambushed within a short minute. Arthur, Tristan and Isana fought the soldiers off. Isana ended up being saved by Arthur, and survived with a cut in the arm and a blow to the head. But at least she was alive. Even though Arthur had saved his wife/girlfriends life, Tristan was still hateful towards 'him and his kind'. But, because Isana was injured, they ended up travelling together towards Ealdor.

They had made their way over the mountains, and Merlin was exhausted. Everyone else was too, so they made camp. The night was upon them. Very little were said, because there was an awkward tension between Arthur and Tristan, who clearly hated his guts. Luckily he and Isana fell asleep rather quickly, leaving Merlin and Arthur in privacy (sort of).

"You knew." Arthur said, suddenly. "You knew Agravaine was betraying me." Merlin didn't really know where that came from, but... He was right.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"I wasn't sure you'd believe me... And I didn't want you to lose the last of your family like that." Merlin said, looking at the flames in front of him.

"I should have figured it out myself. I was just blind. Just like I was to Morgana."

"It wasn't your fault, you were betrayed. It can happen to anyone."

"Well, it keeps happening to me. I cared about these people... I don't understand..." he sighed, and looked so pitiful, that Merlin couldn't help himself. They were sitting side by side, so running a hand through his hair was easy. But Arthur pulled away, quickly. They looked at each other, equally confused. Merlin pulled his hand away. Arthur was probably afraid that Tristan or Isana was awake... Or maybe he was just tired.

"It's not your fault."

"Maybe it wouldn't happen if I was a better king."

"The people love you! Everybody loves you, Arthur! You're a good king, and I _know _you're going to be the greatest king Camelot has ever seen." Arthur smiled a tired smile.

"Well, at least I have the support of my servant."

"Always." Merlin said, receiving a weird look from Arthur.

The next evening, they reached Ealdor. Merlin got a hug from his mother, and some of the villagers recognized him. It was a relief, finally safe and under a roof, with food and... Well, some sort of comfort. The knights hadn't arrived yet, but they'd probably (hopefully) get there the next day.

Merlin, being the only 'physician', amongst them, treated Isanas wounds, which looked good. She would be okay. Tristan seemed very thankful. He had been nice and polite to Merlin, but the same could not be said towards Arthur.

Speaking of Arthur, he also had some wounds that needed tending. Merlin was really looking forward to having a moment alone with Arthur, since he hadn't had one in a while. Arthur had gotten a room of his own, and was now lying on the bed. Merlin was going to take care of his broken ribs, to see how they were doing. It wasn't much to do about broken ribs anyway, but it was okay to have a look anyway. Arthur had pulled off his shirt, and was laying in the bed, with Merlin sitting on it. He carefully let his fingers slide over the swollen skin.

"How does it look?" Arthur asked, like he was distracted.

"It looks fine. A bit swollen, but that is to be expected." Merlin said, stroking his fingers over his chest and up to his neck, bending down to smell the sent he had missed. Arthur pushed him away.

"A bit too close, don't you think? I don't know what's going on with you, Merlin, but I would seriously appreciate it if you kept a bit of distance." he said. There was no joke in his eyes. He was being serious. Merlin felt something inside of him explode, and a pain in his chest that he remembered feeling before. It had to be the spell. Something had happened when he enchanted him.

"Don't you remember...?"

"Remember what?" Merlin totally lost it at those words, and leant down to kiss Arthur hard on the mouth. Arthur was startled, and pushed Merlin harshly away. "What the hell!? What do you think you are doing?!" Their eyes met for a second. Merlin's hurt, Arthur's in disbelief. Both blue, and both confused. Merlin wanted to say something. _Something. _Anything really. Just to make this feeling in his chest go away. But he couldn't come up with anything. Then his mother came running in.

"They have found you!" she said.

_I must keep apologizing for my slowmo-writing. But I am working on a book and several other fictions. I have lost interest for this fiction a while ago. But I will definitely finish it, so don't worry about that. Thank you for reading, and please fave/follow or review. _


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